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In California, who gets custody when parents are unmarried?

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Senior Member
Man up and show some concern or take a hike...don't come and go when it's convenient for him or to make it seem like it's just for show...that's all.
If a person does not want to parent, you can't make them.
If a person parents different than you, it doesn't make the other person a bad parent.

Instead of worrying yourself sick over this, you could take the proactive step, start filing for custody now. Speak with an attorney, figure out what YOU need to do. Right now, you are letting him control you. You should be in control of yourself. You've got at least 16 more years (maybe even more) of dealing with this person, better start figuring it out right now.


Junior Member
Lastnight my daughters father told me that his depression has got so bad, he's been thinking about ending his life. Words cannot express what that did to me.

I asked if he'd ever hurt the baby and he said he wouldn't hurt her directly.

Now I'm freaked out and REALLY don't want him to be alone with her, ever. Ugh, when it rains it pours.


Senior Member
What I would do in that instance is call the local cops/firemen and report his threat of self-harm. Ask them to do a check on him. If he says anything to them about feeling suicidal, they'll take him to the hospital for an exam, and the help begins.

I don't advise you to take him yourself, in case he is violent toward you in the car. I'd leave it to the professionals.

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