What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? AL
Brief history:
I have a 13 year old son. Left father while pregnant due to domestic violence. (Should have pressed charges, didn't...was just glad to get out.) Father did not sign birth certificate and son has my last name. Only court orders were when my son was an infant. They ordered child support and visitation (every other weekend....judge didn't take the whole "broken beer bottle" thing seriously). As long as I didn't pursue child support, ex left us alone and I was fine with that.
I accepted AFDC while I put myself through the local technical college and didn't realize they'd start trying to collect from him. Dad started harassing and threatening us, and I had the case closed via a domestic violence waiver. When son was four, Dad showed up three times over the course of a week with his girlfriend - trying to prove what a loving dad he was. I didn't attempt to stop the visitation. Even thought maybe "John" had changed. John never came back once he realized son has autism.
Fast forward to this year: Still no contact with dad (dad's choice). The difference is that I'm terminally ill and need to make arrangements for my son's future. I know you can't "will" a child to someone, but my son's dad doesn't know him. Son has specific routines, familiar faces, rigid schedules, occupational, physical, and speech therapy, gastrointestinal issues that require meds and frequent dr. visits, pre-vocational training, and IEPs every three months.
My parents have been there every step of the way. Son and I live in an apartment and he's always been an outdoor kind of guy, so we've always spent at least 50% (sometimes 90%) of the time at my parents' place so he can run, play, have pets, camp-outs, et cetera. He loves the garden and the woods, chickens and ducks.
Anyway, back to the point...What should I do to ensure my parents have the best shot at obtaining custody of my son. Dad would not want son at all, except that now my son has an SSI disability check Dad would love to get his hands on.
We need a short-term plan if possible. I get, maybe, another year or two, leaving my son at age 14-15. I really don't want to spend that time locked in court battles. Suggestions?
Brief history:
I have a 13 year old son. Left father while pregnant due to domestic violence. (Should have pressed charges, didn't...was just glad to get out.) Father did not sign birth certificate and son has my last name. Only court orders were when my son was an infant. They ordered child support and visitation (every other weekend....judge didn't take the whole "broken beer bottle" thing seriously). As long as I didn't pursue child support, ex left us alone and I was fine with that.
I accepted AFDC while I put myself through the local technical college and didn't realize they'd start trying to collect from him. Dad started harassing and threatening us, and I had the case closed via a domestic violence waiver. When son was four, Dad showed up three times over the course of a week with his girlfriend - trying to prove what a loving dad he was. I didn't attempt to stop the visitation. Even thought maybe "John" had changed. John never came back once he realized son has autism.
Fast forward to this year: Still no contact with dad (dad's choice). The difference is that I'm terminally ill and need to make arrangements for my son's future. I know you can't "will" a child to someone, but my son's dad doesn't know him. Son has specific routines, familiar faces, rigid schedules, occupational, physical, and speech therapy, gastrointestinal issues that require meds and frequent dr. visits, pre-vocational training, and IEPs every three months.
My parents have been there every step of the way. Son and I live in an apartment and he's always been an outdoor kind of guy, so we've always spent at least 50% (sometimes 90%) of the time at my parents' place so he can run, play, have pets, camp-outs, et cetera. He loves the garden and the woods, chickens and ducks.
Anyway, back to the point...What should I do to ensure my parents have the best shot at obtaining custody of my son. Dad would not want son at all, except that now my son has an SSI disability check Dad would love to get his hands on.
We need a short-term plan if possible. I get, maybe, another year or two, leaving my son at age 14-15. I really don't want to spend that time locked in court battles. Suggestions?
