In need of help and closure

[jared.brewster]

I'm an active duty Marine stationed in NC. My wife and I were married in early November in Arkansas. She became extremely abusive and apparently committed adultery multiple times. She's filed for divorce in Arkansas. She has a 3rd degree battery charge and I have "proof" that she's cheated on me to include messages from her flat out telling me she's cheated on me at least 5 times. I currently have a protective order in place against her. In the divorce decree she's demanding that I pay for her lawyer fees and for other debts she's accrued before we were married, of which is in only her name. We don't own anything in conjunction; her car is her name, mine in mine, her name is no longer on the lease of the house we were renting etc. However she's completely emptied the house into a storage locker. I have clothes and a mattress and that's it. I've been brought up in charges in the military due to her making false allegations. She's told everyone, even the neighbors, that the reason SHE'S leaving is because I've cheated on her and abandoned her, I left for 3 days after the last abuse incident, which couldn't be further from the truth. I pay her half of my BAH every month, $610, because the Corps forces me. She's had ALL my mail forwarded to her dads house in Arkansas. The lawyer I paid for already has been hospitalized and is continuing to be hospitalized for an unknowing amount of time so I'm getting no help there. I have no idea what to do or how to fight back or what I'm entitled to fight for. Having to pay the bills and the rent for this house by myself has left me high and dry now financially. Any help or advice someone can give me is more than appreciated. Thank you.

 

[single317dad]

I would ask the attorney if there's someone else that can look after your case while he's hospitalized.

You should take a few minutes, clear your mind, and envision how a neutral party will see this case. You have your allegations, but she'll have hers also. She's going to make many of the same claims that you are making. Keep that in mind; it seems to you that you have a very strong case due to abuse, infidelity, etc., but that knife can cut both ways. If you're actually in the disciplinary process that's not good news.

I would absolutely refuse to pay any debt that she brought to the marriage in her name. Zero leeway on that.

I would demand the return of my belongings. You may be able to accomplish that in a preliminary order, or it may have to wait until the final decree (or even longer; some folks drag it out until the judge locks them up for contempt.)

Abandonment/desertion is not grounds for at-fault divorce in Arkansas. You haven't abandoned her, at any rate.

Does she meet the Arkansas residency requirements to file for divorce? (Did she live there at and before the time of the marriage in November?)

Address the mail concern with your local postal entity. She is not entitled to your mail.