indiana/summer visit,notify by:

[freeride]

my paper states he is to ,by way of certified by MAY 1ST, he sent one finally dated MAY25TH,of his one week VISIT in his state,he knows we are [going] by the papers,he knows he didnt notify me by the dates,and he is still insisting[in the letter] that dont matter ,he [will] be here to pick up the child.some advice here please,when he shows,the child is not going.

 

[MySonsMom]

my paper states he is to ,by way of certified by MAY 1ST, he sent one finally dated MAY25TH,of his one week VISIT in his state,he knows we are [going] by the papers,he knows he didnt notify me by the dates,and he is still insisting[in the letter] that dont matter ,he [will] be here to pick up the child.some advice here please,when he shows,the child is not going.

Then be prepared for him to file contempt and go to court. Then the judge will tell him "have your dates sent to her in time" and the judge will say to you "work out another date for him to see his child".

You are not going to "get out" of not sending the child with the Father this summer. This is the first time and the judge will slap your X on his wrist for being late with the days and tell you to let the child go later this summer for the full time allowed. This is going to cost you more than it's worth.

MSM

 

[LegalBeagle]

my paper states he is to ,by way of certified by MAY 1ST, he sent one finally dated MAY25TH,of his one week VISIT in his state,he knows we are [going] by the papers,he knows he didnt notify me by the dates,and he is still insisting[in the letter] that dont matter ,he [will] be here to pick up the child.some advice here please,when he shows,the child is not going.

Your on thin ice.. I have seen custody lost for less. If you have nothing else booked when he requested the dates on the 25th, and you refuse him visitation based on your own hate, then it will cost you a lot of money, pain and eventually custody.

From reading your posts, it seems you are intent on ensuring the father does not have a relationship with HIS child. You will lose in the long run. Now stop asking the same question and actually take the huge amount of advice you have been given.

 

[dorenephilpot]

Amen.

 

[freeride]

SORRY,EXCUSE ME,-DORENE,LB,MSM

SORRY,EXCUSE ME,-DORENE,LB,MSM just trying to get an answere of why these sentences appear in the guidelines,if we dont have to abide by them//notify the cp by certain date,NAAA ncp wait till he is ready to mail it.pick up child every other wkend,NAAA ncp has not in a month & when ncp decides to the child has to go.,pay support weekly,NAAA ncp actually can pay what and whenever,just as long as the ncp IS paying,ncp is allowed to call @6pm,NAAA ncp can call earlier or later or not for months and the cp,s STILL have to be by the phone,ncp part on insurance,well if we cp,s HAD to wait on this part,our children wouldnt been seen in dr.office..

 

[Grandma B]

Wise up!

Do you want to listen to a couple of experienced attorneys who have taken their time to offer you good legal advice free of charge, or do you want to take the risk of arguing with them and possibly losing custody of your children? The choice is yours!

 

[freeride]

sorry,this is long

well you all dont have to be so rude,it seemed i was repeating the question,cause i was waiting on answeres in my email,i didnt know i needed to go back and find my question then look for an answere,SORRY for the repeats,,,as far as your statement im trying to keep him from child,you havent a clue of this situation, ok let me tell you....,[child 1 yr.old] 1998 he had every other wkend visits[after divorce] in our same town for one year equals 26 wkends he showed for 3 of them,1999 he moved out of state,no phone calls,no visit for that year,2000 he petitions the court/ not me,that he wants more or all his visits in his state [living at now]he was granted every month a wkend visit in childs state HE HASNT SHOWN UP FOR,and one week in his state [when he notifys me by may 1st] and he didnt do that either and he is ALLOWED to call [EVERY] SATURDAY AT 6PM,which im not home ALOT OF TIMES,AND HE DONT CALL[EVERY] SATURDAY/so where is he showing he really wants to see the child??

 

[MySonsMom]

He has court ordered visitation IF he wants to excercise it. You cannot force a parent to excercise any or all of their visitations.

It is HIS choice which ones he wants to excercise, and in time you can take him to court to have it modified. Until then, do all you can WHEN he wants to see the child because in the long run it will work in your favor.

I'm surprised that you are getting so defensive/pissy over this, I have spent time not only on these boards but time talking with you on instant messanger over this SAME question. I don't know how many times we all have to tell you the same things for you to understand. It seems as though you still seek answers because YOU haven't gotten the response that YOU want. It happens and I can understand your frustration...I really can.

Hang in there and do the right thing.

Good luck!

 

[treici]

I have a 2 year old son from a previous marriage(we separated while I was pregnant). Even when we lived 20 minutes apart, he only saw him every few weeks. As much as it may have burned me up to let him see our son, I sucked it up and cooperated in every way. I now live in FL and the ex lives in VA. I am still perfectly willing to meet him halfway on visitation issues and communication. My son thinks of his own father as a babysitter. But I can honestly say that it's through no fault of my own. I have bent over backwards to make sure that my ex and his family remain a part of his life. If you do the same, I know you won't regret it. One day your child will be old enough to see what's going on around him and will appreciate that you have been so accomodating. Also keep in mind that if he suddenly decides to push for custody, it will look bad if you are denying visitation. I know it's hard to deal with at times, but in the end, you will be the one coming out of it smelling like a rose...and he will smell like dog crap. Just my 2 cents...

 

[freeride]

OK TO ALL

thanks for your time,i will let this run its course and see what happens,im just a worrywart,for the child [have to] go out of state at a very young age [flying] i hate flying..
and i dont know nothing of the ins and outs of this home the child is going to for a week,ill just have to pray extra that week-hope youre all not to upset with me////////

 

[TickledPink]

We have a court order too, but, as two adults we are flexible. Even if your ex is being inconsiderate and not going by the order, you have to be the bigger person and think of your child's happiness. My ex is kind of a jerk too with things, but, I wouldn't hurt my son by not letting him to see his dad. Sometimes, you have to suck it up for the child.

 

[Grandma B]

We have a court order too, but, as two adults we are flexible. Even if your ex is being inconsiderate and not going by the order, you have to be the bigger person and think of your child's happiness. My ex is kind of a jerk too with things, but, I wouldn't hurt my son by not letting him to see his dad. Sometimes, you have to suck it up for the child.

And sometimes you have to suck it up for your own well being. The two responses re losing custody were from knowledgeable attorneys who have obviously seen it happen. Please don't take a chance on losing your son. I'm sure the other posters join with me in wishing you well, and believe me, we understand your frustration.

Tickled, you're doing the right thing for all the right reasons and I applaud you.

 

[freeride]

wow,,,, the number of views this question has,and growing, i wonder of those viewiers got any help from this viewing...........