Infant & child custody

[Children4life]

What is the name of your state? CA

I was living with my ex-boyfriend the last trimester of our pregnancy. Our daughter is now 2 1/2 months old. As soon as the baby arrived his family became very possessive and controling over our lives. My boyfriend also became very possessive and I could not travel outside CA. He put a order to show cause to stop me from leaving the 9 bay area counties. I filed for full custody and now we are fighting an ugly custody battle. I would like to move out of the bay area and to San Diego where I have family and friends to support and help me with the two kids (I have a 5 year old from a previous marriage). I don't know what to do to win this custody battle and get myself out of here to live a better life with my kids. Staying here will only make things worse and his family will continue to control our daughter and my ex. If anyone has any suggestions or good advise on my chances of winning sole physical custody on a 2 1/2 month old baby... please help me. Also, my ex has pushed on visitation every Mon., Wed., Fri. for 1 1/2 hour and 3 hours on Saturday. Does this sound too much for an infant away from her mother considering she is fully breastfed?

 

[Mbarr]

What is the name of your state? CA

I was living with my ex-boyfriend the last trimester of our pregnancy. Our daughter is now 2 1/2 months old. As soon as the baby arrived his family became very possessive and controling over our lives. My boyfriend also became very possessive and I could not travel outside CA. He put a order to show cause to stop me from leaving the 9 bay area counties. I filed for full custody and now we are fighting an ugly custody battle. I would like to move out of the bay area and to San Diego where I have family and friends to support and help me with the two kids (I have a 5 year old from a previous marriage). I don't know what to do to win this custody battle and get myself out of here to live a better life with my kids. Staying here will only make things worse and his family will continue to control our daughter and my ex. If anyone has any suggestions or good advise on my chances of winning sole physical custody on a 2 1/2 month old baby... please help me. Also, my ex has pushed on visitation every Mon., Wed., Fri. for 1 1/2 hour and 3 hours on Saturday. Does this sound too much for an infant away from her mother considering she is fully breastfed?

I'll leave the ?'s re CA law to other posters. As a nursing mother, I will tell you that 3 hours is not too long for your child to be away. If you nurse immediately before visitation, it is unlikely that your child will need to nurse before the visitation is over, and if she does dad can give her a bottle of pumped/expressed breast milk.

 

[stealth2]

Also, my ex has pushed on visitation every Mon., Wed., Fri. for 1 1/2 hour and 3 hours on Saturday. Does this sound too much for an infant away from her mother considering she is fully breastfed?

Actually, it is BETTER for an infant to have frequent contact with the other parent than not. You should be glad that he's interested in bonding with the child the two of you created.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? CA

I was living with my ex-boyfriend the last trimester of our pregnancy. Our daughter is now 2 1/2 months old. As soon as the baby arrived his family became very possessive and controling over our lives. My boyfriend also became very possessive and I could not travel outside CA. He put a order to show cause to stop me from leaving the 9 bay area counties. I filed for full custody and now we are fighting an ugly custody battle. I would like to move out of the bay area and to San Diego where I have family and friends to support and help me with the two kids (I have a 5 year old from a previous marriage). I don't know what to do to win this custody battle and get myself out of here to live a better life with my kids. Staying here will only make things worse and his family will continue to control our daughter and my ex. If anyone has any suggestions or good advise on my chances of winning sole physical custody on a 2 1/2 month old baby... please help me. Also, my ex has pushed on visitation every Mon., Wed., Fri. for 1 1/2 hour and 3 hours on Saturday. Does this sound too much for an infant away from her mother considering she is fully breastfed?

There is nothing at all unreasonable with that schedule. Hon, that is only 6 hours a week.

 

[stealth2]

There is nothing at all unreasonable with that schedule. Hon, that is only 6 hours a week.

Well, 7 1/2, but that's still hardly an excessive visitation schedule for an infant.

 

[LdiJ]

Well, 7 1/2, but that's still hardly an excessive visitation schedule for an infant.

Oops....I missed Friday...LOL 4 times a week might be pushing it a little. However 7 1/2 hours a week is absolutely not excessive. Personally I think three days a week with the mon and wed visits being a little longer might be better....but that's just my opinion.

 

[stealth2]

I actually missed it the first time around, too.

Of course, the visitation schedule that he's asking for, while better for infant/Daddy bonding, is going to put a real crimp in the moving plans.

 

[VeronicaGia]

What is the name of your state? CA

I was living with my ex-boyfriend the last trimester of our pregnancy. Our daughter is now 2 1/2 months old. As soon as the baby arrived his family became very possessive and controling over our lives. My boyfriend also became very possessive and I could not travel outside CA. He put a order to show cause to stop me from leaving the 9 bay area counties. I filed for full custody and now we are fighting an ugly custody battle. I would like to move out of the bay area and to San Diego where I have family and friends to support and help me with the two kids (I have a 5 year old from a previous marriage). I don't know what to do to win this custody battle and get myself out of here to live a better life with my kids. Staying here will only make things worse and his family will continue to control our daughter and my ex. If anyone has any suggestions or good advise on my chances of winning sole physical custody on a 2 1/2 month old baby... please help me. Also, my ex has pushed on visitation every Mon., Wed., Fri. for 1 1/2 hour and 3 hours on Saturday. Does this sound too much for an infant away from her mother considering she is fully breastfed?

YOU can move anywhere you want, the child is subject to the jurisdiction of the court and is a separate matter altogether. So, how much do you think you'll have to pay for all those transportation expenses from San Diego to the Bay Area if a judge decides to let you take the child? After all, you created the distance, you should pay all the costs associated with the childs ongoing relationship with dad.

Stop using breast feeding as an excuse. It won't work.

 

[NotSoNew]

i also dont think that schedule i excessive, the courts now feel that it is important for infants this young to not go very long without seeing mommy OR daddy. And kudos to the dad for stepping up to the plate! I dont think there is much you can do to win sole physical custody unless dad has been doing drugs or abusing the child. fact is the courts want the dad to be very involved. it sucks that YOU cant have a better life here, but the court doesnt care too much about that, they care about the child and feel its better for the CHILD to be around mom AND dad. and breastfeeding doesnt matter, you can pump. my BF was taking his DD 2-3 full days a week at her age for 12 hours a day, so that was 24-36 hours compared to your ex's 7.5.

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? CA

I was living with my ex-boyfriend the last trimester of our pregnancy. Our daughter is now 2 1/2 months old. As soon as the baby arrived his family became very possessive and controling over our lives. My boyfriend also became very possessive and I could not travel outside CA. He put a order to show cause to stop me from leaving the 9 bay area counties. I filed for full custody and now we are fighting an ugly custody battle. I would like to move out of the bay area and to San Diego where I have family and friends to support and help me with the two kids (I have a 5 year old from a previous marriage). I don't know what to do to win this custody battle and get myself out of here to live a better life with my kids. Staying here will only make things worse and his family will continue to control our daughter and my ex. If anyone has any suggestions or good advise on my chances of winning sole physical custody on a 2 1/2 month old baby... please help me. Also, my ex has pushed on visitation every Mon., Wed., Fri. for 1 1/2 hour and 3 hours on Saturday. Does this sound too much for an infant away from her mother considering she is fully breastfed?

That's a fair schedule...What schedule will you propose in the event you are granted permission to move to SD? The court will be interested in your plan to provide continuing contact to the father.

Right now bc you are not married- you don't have to give any visitation that is not court ordered (pending the hearing/s)...but it won't look good if you deny the father visitations.

Contact La Leche League and get some direction re; pumping for visits (so if baby is hungry- Dad can feed her)