Interpreting custody agreement

[StepMamainOC]

I'm in California. Our court order reads our schedule with the minor child is as follows..."Every other Friday with a pickup from either daycare or school, with a return to either daycare or school on Monday morning, commencing on Friday, July 9, 2004 and continuing thereafter." My assumption would then be that Friday is the beginning of OUR weekend custody. We actually have my stepson also overnight every Wed and four additional weeks out of the year, but this is the word for word statement for our every other weekend visit, in our current court order.

So...here is my actual question? When does the day begin? My husband's ex-wife has been picking up my step-son at school almost every Friday, on our weekend. This weekend is Labor Day and we wanted to pick him up around 11am, take him to lunch and spend the rest of the day at the beach with him. She states that she has the day off and is going to an amusment park with him. My husband told her that we already had plans and she said "tough, your visitation doesn't start until after work and you can either pick him up at my house, or I can drop him off". Well, visitation doesn't say anything about us getting him "after work", AND it clearly states that our pick up is at daycare.

What do we do?

 

[MamaLlama]

is this considered a holiday visitation or a regular weekend?

A couple of other things in some standard agreements that might answer your question for you.

1. Is this a holiday vs a standard weekend visitation? If so what do begin and end times say for holidays?

2. Does anywhere in the agreement speak to non-school days and when visitation times begin? It sounds as though you are saying Friday is not a school day if you each thought you would make plans with the child - so those rules should apply.

If that doesn't work you have no time to do anything but comply or try to compromise. A fair compromise is that she will be home at the time school normally ends so as not to infringe on the other parent's visitation time which as she stated begins when school ends at the earliest.

Of course there's nothing wrong with bowing out and saying since it is not clarified in the agreement that this is just a difference in interpretation and be the bigger person. Also mention that you would like such cases not to be a point of contention in the future so you would like to discuss updating the agreement to include non-school days and visitation begin times since they are not currently clear if this issue is big enough to put money behind it.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

So...here is my actual question? When does the day begin? My husband's ex-wife has been picking up my step-son at school almost every Friday, on our weekend. This weekend is Labor Day and we wanted to pick him up around 11am, take him to lunch and spend the rest of the day at the beach with him. She states that she has the day off and is going to an amusment park with him. My husband told her that we already had plans and she said "tough, your visitation doesn't start until after work and you can either pick him up at my house, or I can drop him off". Well, visitation doesn't say anything about us getting him "after work", AND it clearly states that our pick up is at daycare.

What do we do?

She is in violation of the court order. Plain and simple.

 

[StepMamainOC]

1. Our agreement reads that any holiday NOT specifically listed in the court order (like Labor Day), then falls with the parent who's weekend it is. It is our weekend and therefore, we get the holiday and return him to daycare on Tuesday morning, instead of Monday morning, which would be customary.

2. The agreement does not speak to non-school days. It's daycare. He's only 2 1/2. We normally pick up from school on Wednesday or Friday anytime we want and the court order reads to return him Thursday/Monday mornings.

That's the whole problem. It doesn't state at all that visitation begins when school ends. School doesn't end, because he's in daycare.

We have bowed out and been the bigger person over and over and over again and I believe that is why this continues. Again, almost every weekedn that is ours, she makes plans for Friday, then tells us to come pick him up at her house. The reason it upsets me so, is because a month or so ago, we had plans to leave out of town for the weekend around noon. She didn't tell us she was picking him up and later called and informed us she had him and we ended up forfeiting our entire weekend. She can make plans on her weekends. We've tried to be cooperative, but we keep getting the short end of the stick and my husband and step-son are now missing out on activities, because she screws up our schedule and I will NOT let that affect my other two children.

I do want to be fair, but it sounds like there isn't much we can do until the court order is further clarified. I just wonder if it's not our day, like a Tuesday, and we go pick him up, are we allowed to keep him until what we determine "after work" is?

We have asked her in the past to please clear activities she'd like to have him participate in on our days with us in the future. Doesn't mean we'll say no, but it will certainly help in planning. She tells my husband to stick it where the sun don't shine and she'll do what she wants.

I say he calls the cops!

 

[BL]

What do we do?

Your Husband needs to REMIND the X , of the Specific pick up / drop off sites exactly the way the Court Order is written ,, and warn her if she keeps interfering with the court's order's he will have NO choice but to file either a Modification Petition including the violations , or a Contempt of Court Order Petitions

 

[BelizeBreeze]

I say he calls the cops!

Now you are pissing me off.
The police have nothing whatsoever to do with this. It's a CIVIL matter.
Keep spouting crap like this and you'll receive no further help.

 

[StepMamainOC]

Don't mean to piss anyone off. In fact, we've had three different attorneys and they have all told us that in order to prove that she continually violates the court order, we need a police report. I'm only going off what I've been told and that is why I am looking for others advice. Right now, we our up to our ears in legal bills and don't have the money to continue with an attorney, so we are simply doing what we can to understand the court order, without incurring expense.

It's been stated that she's in violation of the court order. What are we supposed to do to prove this and if it's a civil matter, how do we take it to the courts to resolve it. We did attempt a voluntary mediation and she refuses.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Don't mean to piss anyone off. In fact, we've had three different attorneys and they have all told us that in order to prove that she continually violates the court order, we need a police report. I'm only going off what I've been told and that is why I am looking for others advice. Right now, we our up to our ears in legal bills and don't have the money to continue with an attorney, so we are simply doing what we can to understand the court order, without incurring expense.

It's been stated that she's in violation of the court order. What are we supposed to do to prove this and if it's a civil matter, how do we take it to the courts to resolve it. We did attempt a voluntary mediation and she refuses.

WE don't do anything. Your husband should file a show cause for contempt of a court order if the child is not at the daycare provider or in school when he goes to pick him up.

 

[StepMamainOC]

WE don't do anything. Your husband should file a show cause for contempt of a court order if the child is not at the daycare provider or in school when he goes to pick him up.

If he isn't there when one of us go to pick him up, how does my husband prove that?

 

[JBMD]

If his daycare is like any other, they should have a sign in/sign out sheet for the child! I think (not positive) that that may help you prove that she continues to pick him up on his father's day! I would probably just file with the court. You obvisouly know that talking to her is not going to get you anywhere! Don't threaten anymore ... just do! Maybe then she'll realize that this isn't a game!

Hope this helps!