Is a call to social services warranted??

[enigma1774]

What is the name of your state? Vermont has Jurisdiction

Brief history: My son was 13 and decided he wanted to stay with his father when my husband and I seperated. I live in Florida and am remarried, My son lives in Vermont with his father, my parents are also in Vermont and active in my sons life when his father allows it. I have visits with my son 5-6 times a year, court ordered, and I pay child support as is my duty. The problem is....

1. My ex is a narcissist to the most extreme measures and uses our son as a pawn, but that is another issue I am taking up in court... I just wanted you to be aware of the whole situation.

2. The issue: My husband is living in a room of a house that he shares with our 16 year old son. My ex and his girlfriend were evicted from the residence they lived in for 2 years. As a result the girlfriend is at her mothers, and my son is living in a home with a woman and two children having to share a room and bed with his father. Two years prior to this latest eviction he was forced to leave the previouse residence because of nonpayment of rent and trashed the place. The same thing happened this time. He has no job, no stable place to live and no intrest in even trying to better the situation. I am working on my petition for modification of custody right now. There are a lot more factors involved, but I want to know if while I am waiting for the court to schedule a hearing for modification, should I contact child services to make them aware of the living situation? I just don't feel it is right that a 16 year old is sleeping with his 40 year old father every night when my mother lives one mile away and has an empty room for my son....but not his father.

Any suggestions appreciated.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state? Vermont has Jurisdiction

Brief history: My son was 13 and decided he wanted to stay with his father when my husband and I seperated. I live in Florida and am remarried, My son lives in Vermont with his father, my parents are also in Vermont and active in my sons life when his father allows it. I have visits with my son 5-6 times a year, court ordered, and I pay child support as is my duty. The problem is....

1. My ex is a narcissist to the most extreme measures and uses our son as a pawn, but that is another issue I am taking up in court... I just wanted you to be aware of the whole situation.

Has your ex been diagnosed with any personality disorder?

2. The issue: My husband is living in a room of a house that he shares with our 16 year old son. My ex and his girlfriend were evicted from the residence they lived in for 2 years. As a result the girlfriend is at her mothers, and my son is living in a home with a woman and two children having to share a room and bed with his father. Two years prior to this latest eviction he was forced to leave the previouse residence because of nonpayment of rent and trashed the place. The same thing happened this time. He has no job, no stable place to live and no intrest in even trying to better the situation. I am working on my petition for modification of custody right now. There are a lot more factors involved, but I want to know if while I am waiting for the court to schedule a hearing for modification, should I contact child services to make them aware of the living situation? I just don't feel it right that a 16 year old is sleeping with his 40 year old father every night when my mother lives one mile away and has an empty room for my son....but not his father.

Any suggestions appreciated.

I don't see a reason to involve child services (given that there's nothing illegal going on - unless there are local ordinances being broken).

When were they actually evicted?

(No, you can't have your son removed in order for him to go and live with your Mom)

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state? Vermont has Jurisdiction

Brief history: My son was 13 and decided he wanted to stay with his father when my husband and I seperated. I live in Florida and am remarried, My son lives in Vermont with his father, my parents are also in Vermont and active in my sons life when his father allows it. I have visits with my son 5-6 times a year, court ordered, and I pay child support as is my duty. The problem is....

1. My ex is a narcissist to the most extreme measures and uses our son as a pawn, but that is another issue I am taking up in court... I just wanted you to be aware of the whole situation.

2. The issue: My husband is living in a room of a house that he shares with our 16 year old son. My ex and his girlfriend were evicted from the residence they lived in for 2 years. As a result the girlfriend is at her mothers, and my son is living in a home with a woman and two children having to share a room and bed with his father. Two years prior to this latest eviction he was forced to leave the previouse residence because of nonpayment of rent and trashed the place. The same thing happened this time. He has no job, no stable place to live and no intrest in even trying to better the situation. I am working on my petition for modification of custody right now. There are a lot more factors involved, but I want to know if while I am waiting for the court to schedule a hearing for modification, should I contact child services to make them aware of the living situation? I just don't feel it is right that a 16 year old is sleeping with his 40 year old father every night when my mother lives one mile away and has an empty room for my son....but not his father.

Any suggestions appreciated.

Social Services should be called only if a child is in imminent danger - and nothing you've cited suggests that to be the case.

If you bring Social Services in to the case while you have a petition to modify custody underway, it can be seen as vindictive and manipulative unless there's a clear cut danger. It can backfire big time.

And in this case, it's even worse because you voluntarily let the kid choose to live with Dad. The fact that you went along with that means that in your view (at least at the time), Dad was a perfectly acceptable parent.

 

[CurrentlyUndone]

Well.... You COULD send your son an air mattress and a sleeping bag, if you object to his sharing a bed with his father. I have to say, though... This sounds like a temporary situation, and I simply do not see the problem with the sleeping arrangements. I have an adult child and one almost there. If the choice were the floor or sharing a bed temporarily - with EITHER of them - I know we would choose the latter. Because there wouldn't be anything weird about it.