Is it legal for my mom to shut off power and water to my

[Ducktape.ec]

What is the name of your state?

 

[justalayman]

To your what?


Explain your situation a bit. Be sure to include the state

 

[Ducktape.ec]

Sorry im new to this and didnt know i posted this. Im in Virginia. She shut off power to my room and shut off water to my bathroom as punishment because i didnt tell her where i was going the first time. And today she shut it off cause she thinks i didnt tel her enough about when to pick me up from color guard practice. I told her the day of that it was happening since I already told my dad. But since i dont live with my dad i got confused and in my head i had already told a parent. But i did tell her before it happened. Yesterday i also told her when it ended. As soon as I figured it out and told her that she would have to meet with the instructors Thursday. I asked if she was picking me up and she didn’t answer so my friend offered a ride. So my mom came anyway and stayed there. Blammed it on me that she got the wrong day even tho i told her Thursday. So she blames me for not communicating. And then goes on a rant about how im such a “fat ass” and is confused as to why i have the audacity to be offended that she said i was fat. And she turned my power off. She said i can get it back when i pay for it. I dont have a job. She wont let me get a job since i have summer school. So now i cant shower brush my teeth or use the bathroom. Or charge my phone which has my alarm to get up in the morning. Sorry i ranted idk what information you needed. Im so angry and confused. I apologize

 

[justalayman]

I presume you’re a minor


Were you allowed to use a bathroom when needed? If so I don’t see her doing anything illegal.

 

[Ducktape.ec]

I cant flush the toilet without water or power. Maybe once but then its gone. I cant shower without water. How am I supposed to do basic hygiene without water?

 

[justalayman]

I asked;

Are you allowed to use another bathroom, at least to use the toilet?


If you aren’t allowed to shower In another bathroom get some wet wipes and use those to wash.


Unless you are forced to live in filth, I don’t see the short term loss of the shower as s problem.

 

[Ducktape.ec]

I am allwed but i cant flush... and its a problem cause im active. So im sweaty and i am on my period so im bleeding. And idk how long she is gonna keep it like this since i cant pay for it.. i didnt ask if it was a problem i wanted to know if it was legal... if you dont know please don’t answer.

 

[Shadowbunny]

I am allwed but i cant flush... and its a problem cause im active. So im sweaty and i am on my period so im bleeding. And idk how long she is gonna keep it like this since i cant pay for it.. i didnt ask if it was a problem i wanted to know if it was legal... if you dont know please don’t answer.

I get that you're angry, but there's no reason to be rude to the volunteers here.

Let me ask you this: when you say she turned off water to your room -- is it possible that she simply turned off the water to the sink and toilet? Which you could turn back on by turning the knob at the base of the toilet and underneath the sink?

 

[quincy]

I am allwed but i cant flush... and its a problem cause im active. So im sweaty and i am on my period so im bleeding. And idk how long she is gonna keep it like this since i cant pay for it.. i didnt ask if it was a problem i wanted to know if it was legal... if you dont know please don’t answer.

Please be polite to the volunteers on this forum.

Here is a link to definitions of abuse and neglect from the Virginia Department of Social Services 2011 manual:

https://www.dss.virginia.gov/files/division/dfs/cps/intro_page/manuals/07-2011/section_2_definitions_of_abuse_and_neglect.pdf
If both you and your mother live hectic lives, have you thought of having a message board in your house where you and your mom can write down weekly schedules? This could help prevent water and electric shut-offs in the future.

 

[not2cleverRed]

I am allwed but i cant flush... and its a problem cause im active. So im sweaty and i am on my period so im bleeding. And idk how long she is gonna keep it like this since i cant pay for it.. i didnt ask if it was a problem i wanted to know if it was legal... if you dont know please don’t answer.

Since you are a child, I presume you are asking whether this is child abuse.

This happened today, as in this afternoon. #firstworldproblems

Rather than see if you can get your mom thrown in jail, or yourself into foster care, consider this:
1) You are going to summer school not because you want to get ahead, but because you failed classes. How do I know this? Because parents don't punish children for going to summer school to get extra credits. If you made high honor roll every quarter and were going to summer school because you wanted to place into a higher level math class next year, your mother would trust you to be responsible enough to handle both summer school and a job.

2) You don't communicate well. The adults can barely communicate with you here. You tell your Dad, who doesn't live with you, and expect your Mom to be I dunno, a mind reader?

3) What did you do for your Mom last weekend?

 

[adjusterjack]

I am allwed but i cant flush... and its a problem cause im active. So im sweaty and i am on my period so im bleeding. And idk how long she is gonna keep it like this since i cant pay for it.. i didnt ask if it was a problem i wanted to know if it was legal... if you dont know please don’t answer.

What is your age?

 

[LdiJ]

I have to admit that I think that the mother is being foolish in her choice of punishments. It does look bad even if it does not result in a visit from CPS. On top of that, having a toilet being used and not flushed, and having a teenage girl who cannot shower, and who is on her period, is not going to look good either. All of the ladies here know just how fast that can become a problem.

However, the OP has never given us a straight answer as to whether or not there is another bathroom that she could use. There are only two answers to the question. 1) Yes there is another bathroom that I can use or 2) no, I am not allowed to use another bathroom either.

 

[cbg]

I have a question for the OP. Let's suppose for the sake of argument that it's illegal. What, as a minor, do you plan to do about it? Call the police? Hire a lawyer? Call CPS? And what do you imagine life with your mother is going to be like after the fact?

 

[stealth2]

I'm going to assume that, since you have your own bathroom, there is at least one more in the house - likely at least one and a half. I'm also going to assume there are outlets elsewhere in the house that could be used to charge your phone so that it's available for the alarm - assuming you don't run the power down texting your friends 'til all hours...

As a parent who also had to run kids to/from before/after school activities, I can tell you that I'd be pretty ticked to find myself waiting for a kid who'd grabbed a ride from a friend without the grace to call/text me. Or left to wonder where kiddo was because she got "confused" about whether to tell me or the parent that doesn't live with us. Now, I may not have reacted as your Mom has - not the first time, certainly (but.... this isn't the first time, is it?), but there would be lots of angry muttering and banging around until the kid made nice and apologized (and maybe offered to do something to help me out...).