Is it worth enforcing a Divorce Decree due to unpaid bills???

[fatheroftwoboys]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I have a question pertaining to the enforcement of a divorce decree. How likely is it to receive payment from a former spouse who hasn't paid her end of the bills in the decree? Even if a judge orders it, is it likely I would ever see the money?

When we agree on the divorce, I was ordered to pay my ex-wife a small portion of the equity of the house. She was allowed to stay in the house through the end of the school year as long as she paid some bills and maintained the house. I sent her an email (which I later hand-delivered with a witness) outlining the bills, account numbers, contact phone numbers, etc. It was clear and reminded her of the obligations. Since the divorce, she didn't pay all of the bills. When I got back the house, it was trashed and there was writing on most of the walls. The cost to clean, refurbish, and repaint the cost was about $1,500 plus about 200 hours of labor. I did it all myself last summer. I even did it while I had the care of our kids, which she abandoned for most of the summer. I sent her certified letters asking her to pay the bills and the cost of the repairs to the house. I ended up selling the house to move close to the kids.

I sent her at least three certified letters saying that per the decree, I had a lien to pay her what I owed her. I outlined what she owed me and asked her to pay me back. Yes, I was 5 months late, but I was late because she didn't pay the bills and because the house was not in a good selling condition. I have met my end of the bargain. Instead of paying me what she owed me, she used the money I paid her to buy a new car.

Is it worth going back to court to get the $4,000 she owes me and maybe $5,000 in damages to the house (that was the estimate I was given for the refurbishes, but I saved considerable money doing it myself).

Here is the deal. I am currently working on a custody modification. We have two kids with special needs. They were both diagnosed post-divorce and she hasn’t done anything about them. I am the one that has pushed for the services at their school. I am the one going to all the school meetings. I am even the one doing most of their homework (about 70%, despite only having them for 2 hours on homework nights). She even won't let me take them to their prescribed therapies. She also tried to block Speech services for one of the sons, even when I had a doctor's note saying the kid needed Speech therapy! I was fortunate the principal sided with me as it was for the child's best interest to be evaluated (teachers and staff agreed, plus the test came back with a need for services). I just don’t know if it will be worth spending thousands on enforcing the money she owes me when the kids are more important. I have finite funds. Even though I have the kids 43% of the night on paper, more like 55% in reality, I still pay her near full child support and do not get to deduct the kids. Thus, I have a negative cash flow each month. Getting a second job is not feasible as I have the kids 3 nights out of 7 nights in the week. I also wouldn’t be able to help them with their homework, which their Mother neglects to do.

Would you muddy the waters of the custody modification with the money implications, or would you let the money go and try to get the kids more time? On a side note, I have researched Texas court rulings that allow me to take the enforcement to Small Claims court. Again, I may win, but still see no money. She plays the "i'm a poor student" card rather well . Problem is, I'm poor to as I am out about a grand each month on child support, healthcare for the kids, and still pay taxes for her tax-free money.

 

[sandyclaus]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I have a question pertaining to the enforcement of a divorce decree. How likely is it to receive payment from a former spouse who hasn't paid her end of the bills in the decree? Even if a judge orders it, is it likely I would ever see the money?

When we agree on the divorce, I was ordered to pay my ex-wife a small portion of the equity of the house. She was allowed to stay in the house through the end of the school year as long as she paid some bills and maintained the house. I sent her an email (which I later hand-delivered with a witness) outlining the bills, account numbers, contact phone numbers, etc. It was clear and reminded her of the obligations. Since the divorce, she didn't pay all of the bills. When I got back the house, it was trashed and there was writing on most of the walls. The cost to clean, refurbish, and repaint the cost was about $1,500 plus about 200 hours of labor. I did it all myself last summer. I even did it while I had the care of our kids, which she abandoned for most of the summer. I sent her certified letters asking her to pay the bills and the cost of the repairs to the house. I ended up selling the house to move close to the kids.

I sent her at least three certified letters saying that per the decree, I had a lien to pay her what I owed her. I outlined what she owed me and asked her to pay me back. Yes, I was 5 months late, but I was late because she didn't pay the bills and because the house was not in a good selling condition. I have met my end of the bargain. Instead of paying me what she owed me, she used the money I paid her to buy a new car.

Is it worth going back to court to get the $4,000 she owes me and maybe $5,000 in damages to the house (that was the estimate I was given for the refurbishes, but I saved considerable money doing it myself).

Here is the deal. I am currently working on a custody modification. We have two kids with special needs. They were both diagnosed post-divorce and she hasn’t done anything about them. I am the one that has pushed for the services at their school. I am the one going to all the school meetings. I am even the one doing most of their homework (about 70%, despite only having them for 2 hours on homework nights). She even won't let me take them to their prescribed therapies. She also tried to block Speech services for one of the sons, even when I had a doctor's note saying the kid needed Speech therapy! I was fortunate the principal sided with me as it was for the child's best interest to be evaluated (teachers and staff agreed, plus the test came back with a need for services). I just don’t know if it will be worth spending thousands on enforcing the money she owes me when the kids are more important. I have finite funds. Even though I have the kids 43% of the night on paper, more like 55% in reality, I still pay her near full child support and do not get to deduct the kids. Thus, I have a negative cash flow each month. Getting a second job is not feasible as I have the kids 3 nights out of 7 nights in the week. I also wouldn’t be able to help them with their homework, which their Mother neglects to do.

Would you muddy the waters of the custody modification with the money implications, or would you let the money go and try to get the kids more time? On a side note, I have researched Texas court rulings that allow me to take the enforcement to Small Claims court. Again, I may win, but still see no money. She plays the "i'm a poor student" card rather well . Problem is, I'm poor to as I am out about a grand each month on child support, healthcare for the kids, and still pay taxes for her tax-free money.

Was the court aware of her being a student when the child support order was issued, or did she start going to school post-divorce?

Was she imputed an income for her share of the kids' support cots? If not, then she SHOULD have been. If she is so poor because she chooses to go to school instead of working, then she's VOLUNTARILY under/unemployed. The income she could be earning could make quite a difference in her available finances, and it could also lower YOUR support obligation if you are being made to make up for her lack of income in order to provide for the kids' needs.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I have a question pertaining to the enforcement of a divorce decree. How likely is it to receive payment from a former spouse who hasn't paid her end of the bills in the decree? Even if a judge orders it, is it likely I would ever see the money?

When we agree on the divorce, I was ordered to pay my ex-wife a small portion of the equity of the house. She was allowed to stay in the house through the end of the school year as long as she paid some bills and maintained the house. I sent her an email (which I later hand-delivered with a witness) outlining the bills, account numbers, contact phone numbers, etc. It was clear and reminded her of the obligations. Since the divorce, she didn't pay all of the bills. When I got back the house, it was trashed and there was writing on most of the walls. The cost to clean, refurbish, and repaint the cost was about $1,500 plus about 200 hours of labor. I did it all myself last summer. I even did it while I had the care of our kids, which she abandoned for most of the summer. I sent her certified letters asking her to pay the bills and the cost of the repairs to the house. I ended up selling the house to move close to the kids.

I sent her at least three certified letters saying that per the decree, I had a lien to pay her what I owed her. I outlined what she owed me and asked her to pay me back. Yes, I was 5 months late, but I was late because she didn't pay the bills and because the house was not in a good selling condition. I have met my end of the bargain. Instead of paying me what she owed me, she used the money I paid her to buy a new car.

Is it worth going back to court to get the $4,000 she owes me and maybe $5,000 in damages to the house (that was the estimate I was given for the refurbishes, but I saved considerable money doing it myself).

Here is the deal. I am currently working on a custody modification. We have two kids with special needs. They were both diagnosed post-divorce and she hasn’t done anything about them. I am the one that has pushed for the services at their school. I am the one going to all the school meetings. I am even the one doing most of their homework (about 70%, despite only having them for 2 hours on homework nights). She even won't let me take them to their prescribed therapies. She also tried to block Speech services for one of the sons, even when I had a doctor's note saying the kid needed Speech therapy! I was fortunate the principal sided with me as it was for the child's best interest to be evaluated (teachers and staff agreed, plus the test came back with a need for services). I just don’t know if it will be worth spending thousands on enforcing the money she owes me when the kids are more important. I have finite funds. Even though I have the kids 43% of the night on paper, more like 55% in reality, I still pay her near full child support and do not get to deduct the kids. Thus, I have a negative cash flow each month. Getting a second job is not feasible as I have the kids 3 nights out of 7 nights in the week. I also wouldn’t be able to help them with their homework, which their Mother neglects to do.

Would you muddy the waters of the custody modification with the money implications, or would you let the money go and try to get the kids more time? On a side note, I have researched Texas court rulings that allow me to take the enforcement to Small Claims court. Again, I may win, but still see no money. She plays the "i'm a poor student" card rather well . Problem is, I'm poor to as I am out about a grand each month on child support, healthcare for the kids, and still pay taxes for her tax-free money.

It would be perfectly valid for you to take her to court to attempt to collect the 4k she owes you. However, the damages to the house are a little bit of a different story. First, how are you going to prove that she, specifically, caused those damages? Also, you cannot collect 5k for damages if you spent only 1500.00.

Also, she didn't "abandon" your children for the summer if they spent their time with you. That is not considered to be abandonment. Also, how can you claim that you have them 55% in practice, if mom has them 4 nights a week?

All in all dad, you might possibly have some valid issues, but you really have to watch how you describe things and what you attempt to collect.

 

[milmom]

Was the court aware of her being a student when the child support order was issued, or did she start going to school post-divorce?

Was she imputed an income for her share of the kids' support cots? If not, then she SHOULD have been. If she is so poor because she chooses to go to school instead of working, then she's VOLUNTARILY under/unemployed. The income she could be earning could make quite a difference in her available finances, and it could also lower YOUR support obligation if you are being made to make up for her lack of income in order to provide for the kids' needs.

Texas bases child support on a percentage of the payer's net income, the payee's isn't considered.

 

[Bali Hai]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I have a question pertaining to the enforcement of a divorce decree. How likely is it to receive payment from a former spouse who hasn't paid her end of the bills in the decree? Even if a judge orders it, is it likely I would ever see the money?

When we agree on the divorce, I was ordered to pay my ex-wife a small portion of the equity of the house. She was allowed to stay in the house through the end of the school year as long as she paid some bills and maintained the house. I sent her an email (which I later hand-delivered with a witness) outlining the bills, account numbers, contact phone numbers, etc. It was clear and reminded her of the obligations. Since the divorce, she didn't pay all of the bills. When I got back the house, it was trashed and there was writing on most of the walls. The cost to clean, refurbish, and repaint the cost was about $1,500 plus about 200 hours of labor. I did it all myself last summer. I even did it while I had the care of our kids, which she abandoned for most of the summer. I sent her certified letters asking her to pay the bills and the cost of the repairs to the house. I ended up selling the house to move close to the kids.

I sent her at least three certified letters saying that per the decree, I had a lien to pay her what I owed her. I outlined what she owed me and asked her to pay me back. Yes, I was 5 months late, but I was late because she didn't pay the bills and because the house was not in a good selling condition. I have met my end of the bargain. Instead of paying me what she owed me, she used the money I paid her to buy a new car.

Is it worth going back to court to get the $4,000 she owes me and maybe $5,000 in damages to the house (that was the estimate I was given for the refurbishes, but I saved considerable money doing it myself).

Here is the deal. I am currently working on a custody modification. We have two kids with special needs. They were both diagnosed post-divorce and she hasn’t done anything about them. I am the one that has pushed for the services at their school. I am the one going to all the school meetings. I am even the one doing most of their homework (about 70%, despite only having them for 2 hours on homework nights). She even won't let me take them to their prescribed therapies. She also tried to block Speech services for one of the sons, even when I had a doctor's note saying the kid needed Speech therapy! I was fortunate the principal sided with me as it was for the child's best interest to be evaluated (teachers and staff agreed, plus the test came back with a need for services). I just don’t know if it will be worth spending thousands on enforcing the money she owes me when the kids are more important. I have finite funds. Even though I have the kids 43% of the night on paper, more like 55% in reality, I still pay her near full child support and do not get to deduct the kids. Thus, I have a negative cash flow each month. Getting a second job is not feasible as I have the kids 3 nights out of 7 nights in the week. I also wouldn’t be able to help them with their homework, which their Mother neglects to do.

Would you muddy the waters of the custody modification with the money implications, or would you let the money go and try to get the kids more time? On a side note, I have researched Texas court rulings that allow me to take the enforcement to Small Claims court. Again, I may win, but still see no money. She plays the "i'm a poor student" card rather well . Problem is, I'm poor to as I am out about a grand each month on child support, healthcare for the kids, and still pay taxes for her tax-free money.

If you don't get a judgement for the money, you surely won't see any of it, and, it appears that the deadbeat mom's behavior will only get worse. If you don't legally seek relief in a timely manner, the court may view that you acquiesced to the deadbeat behavior.

 

[fatheroftwoboys]

Was the court aware of her being a student when the child support order was issued, or did she start going to school post-divorce?

Was she imputed an income for her share of the kids' support cots? If not, then she SHOULD have been. If she is so poor because she chooses to go to school instead of working, then she's VOLUNTARILY under/unemployed. The income she could be earning could make quite a difference in her available finances, and it could also lower YOUR support obligation if you are being made to make up for her lack of income in order to provide for the kids' needs.

She had a full time job when we divorced. She got fired last summer and quickly married her then 1 month long boyfriend. She got some part-time jobs, but nothing steady. Right now she says she is not working and going to school full time. I think the consensus from the group is telling me to forget the money and focus on my kids. Unfortunately, Texas is an "all of nothing" state so her income doesn't affect the child support.

 

[Bali Hai]

She had a full time job when we divorced. She got fired last summer and quickly married her then 1 month long boyfriend. She got some part-time jobs, but nothing steady. Right now she says she is not working and going to school full time. I think the consensus from the group is telling me to forget the money and focus on my kids. Unfortunately, Texas is an "all of nothing" state so her income doesn't affect the child support.

Of course that's the consensus of the group (that you don't know anything about).

The court is not going to care that you don't bring suit against her for the money. You will not get a gold star for that. If you do not pursue the money, forget about it completely, and don't make the mistake of telling the court you are a nice guy and "could have" pursued the money during the custody hearings. It won't make any difference. It just may hurt your case because the judge may see that as an empty threat since you haven't won that case in the first place.

Statistically there is a higher percentage of deadbeat mom's than there are deadbeat dad's, yet you hear about the dad's in the media to the point that it becomes anal. Lawyers and judges would much more prefer to deal with the dad's than the mom's because that is society's focus and that is exactly what happens.

I believe you are making a mistake if you don't bring a suit for the money legally owed to you.

 

[fatheroftwoboys]

It would be perfectly valid for you to take her to court to attempt to collect the 4k she owes you. However, the damages to the house are a little bit of a different story. First, how are you going to prove that she, specifically, caused those damages? Also, you cannot collect 5k for damages if you spent only 1500.00.

Also, she didn't "abandon" your children for the summer if they spent their time with you. That is not considered to be abandonment. Also, how can you claim that you have them 55% in practice, if mom has them 4 nights a week?

All in all dad, you might possibly have some valid issues, but you really have to watch how you describe things and what you attempt to collect.

Thanks. I had typed a long reply to you about how I have document it, but the browser didn't post it . Anyway, my ex has tendency to let me have the kids on her time. I have picked up several nights per month since the divorce plus I had them most of the summer. We each get two 14 day period of possession on the summer. I exercise my time, but she didn't. I schedule a 1 week break between my two 14 day periods. Ex was a no-show when I dropped the kids. She said she was going on a trip, but never told me to keep the kids or when the trip was going to take place. I showed up with the kids, they were freaking out, and she was nowhere to be found. I called the non-emergency police line as I wasn't aware of the protocol. They told me to keep the kids until I hear from her. A day or two later I hear from her. She didn't apologize, just said she was out of town at the beach. She told me to keep the boys on her time. I then had them for the rest of my summer time. When it was time for them to go back, the ex got "sick" and asked me to keep them until a week before school resumes. Another way I pick nights are the holidays. Because of the wording in the decree, I got all weekends (Fri through Monday overnight, plus dinner on one of her nights), including the extra odd Friday/Monday holiday. there is usually one of those per month, so there are 2 extra weeks per year right there.

Keep in mind, it's not just the extra overnights. I am the only one advocating for their special needs at school and outside of school. These special needs where not diagnosed until post-divorce. I attend every school meeting, including the IEP/ARD meetings to set their special education. She doesn't. I have helped them complete 70% of their homework, despite only having them for 2 hours on homework nights. I even have the backing of their teachers, whom both have told me that I am the only one signing their folders, attending to their school needs, etc. They have sent the mother multiple letters asking her to bring the kids for tutoring, but she refuses to and/or doesn't take them. Both are behind at school. My oldest one even had to repeat the school year due to slow academic progress due in part to his special needs, but also to nearly 30 absences last year (all unwarranted) and 15 tardies.

I already have the significant change in circumstances met with our child being diagnosed with Autism. She hasn't done anything about it. She actually took the child away from the diagnosis session (fortunately she burst in 3 hours late so they managed to still get the diagnosis). She has turned down every therapy I have found telling me to take them on my time, which given they are after business hours and weekends I haven't found viable therapies. I'm at the point where enough is enough. I notice a comparable delay when compared to peers their age. I notice because I take them places where they socialize all the time. We go to the park, museums, the zoo, etc. Their speech is delay, their motor-skills are delayed, their academic abilities are delayed. She has done absolutely nothing to address these issues. I know their is a risk in going the custody modification route. I'm at the stage that I rather lose it all then go with what I have now. I was just wondering if I should throw in the finances. I'm awaiting what my lawyer will say. They are going to be drafting the motion to change custody and it should be ready soon. After that it will be a few months of negotiations and mediation. More than likely though, we will end up in court. She is not going to let go out of her tax-free child support money that easy. I think based on the replies here, I will use the money owed to accentuate what I do for the kids and what I can't do because of the financial stress from paying her child support and not receiving the debt she agreed to pay in the decree.

[edited last sentence]

 

[fatheroftwoboys]

Of course that's the consensus of the group (that you don't know anything about).

The court is not going to care that you don't bring suit against her for the money. You will not get a gold star for that. If you do not pursue the money, forget about it completely, and don't make the mistake of telling the court you are a nice guy and "could have" pursued the money during the custody hearings. It won't make any difference. It just may hurt your case because the judge may see that as an empty threat since you haven't won that case in the first place.

Statistically there is a higher percentage of deadbeat mom's than there are deadbeat dad's, yet you hear about the dad's in the media to the point that it becomes anal. Lawyers and judges would much more prefer to deal with the dad's than the mom's because that is society's focus and that is exactly what happens.

I believe you are making a mistake if you don't bring a suit for the money legally owed to you.

OK, I'll talk to my lawyer this week. Maybe just focus on the bills, though throwing the house in the mix may paint a better picture of what she did to it.

 

[Bali Hai]

Thanks. I had typed a long reply to you about how I have document it, but the browser didn't post it . Anyway, my ex has tendency to let me have the kids on her time. I have picked up several nights per month since the divorce plus I had them most of the summer. We each get two 14 day period of possession on the summer. I exercise my time, but she didn't. I schedule a 1 week break between my two 14 day periods. Ex was a no-show when I dropped the kids. She said she was going on a trip, but never told me to keep the kids or when the trip was going to take place. I showed up with the kids, they were freaking out, and she was nowhere to be found. I called the non-emergency police line as I wasn't aware of the protocol. They told me to keep the kids until I hear from her. A day or two later I hear from her. She didn't apologize, just said she was out of town at the beach. She told me to keep the boys on her time. I then had them for the rest of my summer time. When it was time for them to go back, the ex got "sick" and asked me to keep them until a week before school resumes. Another way I pick nights are the holidays. Because of the wording in the decree, I got all weekends (Fri through Monday overnight, plus dinner on one of her nights), including the extra odd Friday/Monday holiday. there is usually one of those per month, so there are 2 extra weeks per year right there.

Keep in mind, it's not just the extra overnights. I am the only one advocating for their special needs at school and outside of school. These special needs where not diagnosed until post-divorce. I attend every school meeting, including the IEP/ARD meetings to set their special education. She doesn't. I have helped them complete 70% of their homework, despite only having them for 2 hours on homework nights. I even have the backing of their teachers, whom both have told me that I am the only one signing their folders, attending to their school needs, etc. They have sent the mother multiple letters asking her to bring the kids for tutoring, but she refuses to and/or doesn't take them. Both are behind at school. My oldest one even had to repeat the school year due to slow academic progress due in part to his special needs, but also to nearly 30 absences last year (all unwarranted) and 15 tardies.

I already have the significant change in circumstances met with our child being diagnosed with Autism. She hasn't done anything about it. She actually took the child away from the diagnosis session (fortunately she burst in 3 hours late so they managed to still get the diagnosis). She has turned down every therapy I have found telling me to take them on my time, which given they are after business hours and weekends I haven't found viable therapies. I'm at the point where enough is enough. I notice a comparable delay when compared to peers their age. I notice because I take them places where they socialize all the time. We go to the park, museums, the zoo, etc. Their speech is delay, their motor-skills are delayed, their academic abilities are delayed. She has done absolutely nothing to address these issues. I know their is a risk in going the custody modification route. I'm at the stage that I rather lose it all then go with what I have now. I was just wondering if I should throw in the finances. I'm awaiting what my lawyer will say. They are going to be drafting the motion to change custody and it should be ready soon. After that it will be a few months of negotiations and mediation. More than likely though, we will end up in court. She is not going to let go out of her tax-free child support money that easy. I think based on the replies here, I will use the money owed to accentuate what I do for the kids and what I can't do because of the financial stress from paying her child support and not receiving the debt she agreed to pay in the decree.

[edited last sentence]

Are you placing your children first? If so, then pursue the money legally owed to you to make a good life for them.