Is It Worth It

[jallard5278]

What is the name of your state?MI

I have 2 kids and live 2 hours from their dad. I have been willing to meet their dads ever other weekend for almost 2 years now, but it has to be on their days, times and places. One kids dad can only take him on Sundays because he don't have his own place to live and has no where for him to sleep and the other dad will take him for the weekend but meeting places are hard because they live on diffrent sides of the state. For now neither dad is seeing their kids because I got tired of not having a say in where to meet and when. Their dads don't seem bothered by not seeing their kids and there is no court order stating that I am to let them see their dads. Both dads are loyal on paying child support and I know they care about their kids but Im tired on spending everyother weekend driving from one side of the state to the other so they can see their dads. Question is with it not seeming to bother the dads, not seeing their kids, should I just leave no visitation or should I take it to court to get a court order of where and when to meet? I would love some help on this.

 

[stealth2]

Well, let's start with a few questions. How old are the kids, what do the orders say about visitation/transportation and who created the distance(s)?

 

[jallard5278]

The kids are 3 and 6. Lets start with the 6 year old, his order just says resonalble visitation, nothing about transportaion. 3 year olds dad was held in default of court for not showing so the courts didn't give him any visitaion. The distance was created by me origanlly but not that far of a distance. I moved 1 hour away then both the dads moved further from me yet.

 

[jallard5278]

I could really use some advice on this.

 

[LdiJ]

I could really use some advice on this.

I think that since you also moved, and therefore created some of the distance, that if it went to court you would be ordered to provide half of the transportation.

 

[stealth2]

Whoops! I lost track of the thread for a bit. Well..... since the orders say nothing about transportation, you technically don't have to provide any. But since that ends up with the kids not seeing their fathers, seems like an unreasonable stance. What I would likely do is talk to each of the fathers to see if there would be a better way to handle things. Say, you split the driving but in a different way. Say they each see their kid on alternating weekends - so Dad1 would have kid on 1st & 3rd, Dad2 would have his kid 2nd and 4th. You drive two of those four weekends. Or if you want the Dads to have the boys on the same weekends, you offer to drop off to one the 1st weekend, and to the other the other weekend - they each pick up the alternate weekend.

That's "fair" to all of you, IMO.

 

[jallard5278]

K I have tryed dealing with their dads and tryed thinking of ways we could all meet in one place on the same day but then one dad can only take his son on Sundays. That leaves me doing alot of driving on Sundays, once to drop my oldest off around 12, another around 3 the pick up my 3 year old then again at 7 to pick up my 6 year old and they are in diffrent places. I would love for my kids to see their dads but they won't cooperate because they each feel they have no business with the other kid so they want it their way and their way only.

 

[Gracie3787]

What is the name of your state?MI

I have 2 kids and live 2 hours from their dad. I have been willing to meet their dads ever other weekend for almost 2 years now, but it has to be on their days, times and places. One kids dad can only take him on Sundays because he don't have his own place to live and has no where for him to sleep and the other dad will take him for the weekend but meeting places are hard because they live on diffrent sides of the state. For now neither dad is seeing their kids because I got tired of not having a say in where to meet and when. Their dads don't seem bothered by not seeing their kids and there is no court order stating that I am to let them see their dads. Both dads are loyal on paying child support and I know they care about their kids but Im tired on spending everyother weekend driving from one side of the state to the other so they can see their dads. Question is with it not seeming to bother the dads, not seeing their kids, should I just leave no visitation or should I take it to court to get a court order of where and when to meet? I would love some help on this.

Children need both parents in thier lives, so please, for your kids' sakes get visitations put into court orders.
For the 6 yr old you need to file for a modification where transportation and costs are spelled out.
For the youngest, since visitaion isn't specified in the order, you may need to file a petetion to establish visitation schedule, costs, etc.
I agree with the other reply, most likely you will be responsible for some of the costs of transportation.

 

[jallard5278]

I agree on meeting them. But with them both living on seperate sides of the state and me in the middle makes it hard

 

[stealth2]

K I have tryed dealing with their dads and tryed thinking of ways we could all meet in one place on the same day but then one dad can only take his son on Sundays. That leaves me doing alot of driving on Sundays, once to drop my oldest off around 12, another around 3 the pick up my 3 year old then again at 7 to pick up my 6 year old and they are in diffrent places. I would love for my kids to see their dads but they won't cooperate because they each feel they have no business with the other kid so they want it their way and their way only.

You said that the oldest's Dad takes him for the w/e - so why do you have to do any drop-off for him on Sunday? Trying to meet in one place pretty much leaves them doing all the driving if (as I understood you to post) they live in opposite directions from one another. Then the "obvious" place for a meeting is in the middle - by you. Which isn't all that fair to either of the Dads, now is it? Hence my suggestion. If you can't come to an agreement, you could ask for a modification/clarification from the court.

 

[jallard5278]

K its like this. My 3 year olds dad takes in on Fri drops him off on Sun. My 6 year olds dad takes him only on Sundays for a few hours because he has nowhere to let him stay. I guess I will have to call my case worker today and get a modification started. I didn't want to have to do it this way but I guess I have no choice. Thanks everyone.