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Is it worth the hassle?

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tigger22472

Senior Member
Eliska said:
Ok, here is the run down. My ex and I have joint legal and physical custody. Rare I hear, but it works. My children are happy and have even told me it's been better this way for them. Who am I to argue with that? I took a job after we separated to help me support just myself because even with the child support I couldn't do that let alone my kids. So every other week I have them... Every other week they are with thier father and I'm working out of town. ?
How old are the kids? It's very important that THEY like this set up. If you were to make a beef in court I can tell you FROM EXPERIENCE that judges don't like 50/50 and if they are old enough to voice an opinion, in a 50/50 case that will work against you. Absent CLEAR neglect or abuse or the like you would have a difficult case in proving dad unfit to get custody.

Eliska said:
My ex is consistantly late with my child support. He pays, but it's at least two weeks late.

My ex is late dropping off the kids on time by a least a few minutes each time. Not something to fight over, but it's getting old.?
If he's constantly late and it's only a few minutes, you'll just have to get over it. As far as the support goes, he pays, he's not in contempt. To be truthful with this kind of set up child support IMO shouldn't be paid. My husband has 50/50. They agreed to no support. At the time of the divorce he was making about 50K and she was making between 80 and 100K. He's since been disabled AND been told by a judge he has the right to file for support. He doesn't for TWO reasons. The first being he doesn't want to tick off mom to go file for full custody as SOMEONE would get it. And two, it's not really fair is it? As long as the children have a room, clothes, food .. etc. at each home. My bias aside unless he's months and months late, little if anything would be done.

Eliska said:
My ex does not provide me with medical paperwork for my children. I know they have it and I know what doctor to go to, but I don't have info in case I take them on a camping trip or something. He is ordered to provide medical and we split the cost after his insurance... Does that mean we split the co-pay??
As far as the insurance card, you might have something there to have him order to give you proof. As far as the co-pay that another iffy issue. Does he charge you half the co-pay when he takes them to the doctor?


Eliska said:
He is telling my child's school I don't have custody.... That one bugs me. I gave them the divorce decree, but they aren't convinced because when we did our divorce they sent out the paperwork from the family courts just varifying address, problem is it's checked at though he has custody. I went back to the Paralegal who did it for us and she said that that paper isn't anything just a varification... I made her make out a new one with my name marked in the box just in case. It also seems I have no say about my child's place of schooling. His entire family went to that school and his children will go, but it's rather out of my way and my children can't take a bus. My children like it there and that's why I don't fight it, but the gas is going up and I find myself rethinking the situation.?
If your paperwork DOES NOT indicate that you have custody, then you don't. Society believes in even 50/50 cases there must be a primary also. As far as the school goes, again I can tell you from experience you won't get far with that one. First, the kids like it, secondly, they have been going there and judges aren't likely to change that. If they went to a school in your area, dad would be doing the driving and the fact that they have been going to this school is what will matter. This should have been a matter settled before the settlement, now precedence has been set.

Eliska said:
He hasn't forfilled any of his obligations to give me paperwork on our divorced bills being paid off. ?
Not sure I understand. He was to show you that the bills were paid and hasn't shown you? If your name was on these bills call the companies. If they haven't then you could probably take him to court on it.

Eliska said:
He consistantly lies. I don't know why, but he does. For example he goes to take the kids to an arcade and spends money which is great for them, but he says he can't buy school supplies because he only has $3.00 to his name....?
And personally he pays child support.....school supplies could be bought with that. In our house since no one pays support both homes buy supplies and step-daughter picks what she wants at the beginning of the year and the rest go into a drawer to use throughout when she needs them.

Eliska said:
It's other little things, but nothing to fight over, but it's starting to add up. My children are happy with the arrangement as is and I'm afraid to get into an arguement about it, because is it worth it?
I'll tell you right now it's not worth it. You go into court over these little things or even the slightly bigger things and one of two things will likely happen. 1. The judge will be a bit irritated at one or even both of you, and will likely say if you guys can't get along with this 50/50 then someone needs to file for full custody. 2. Dad gets mad beforehand and files for custody. A custody battle won't go well for you. I'm not saying you couldn't win but you have a lot more going against you than for you.
 

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