Is she able to do this?

[Zigner]

These are TEMPORARY orders. Dad should sort these matters out at the hearing when it comes up. If you can't stand taking a short break for the betterment of all involved, then there is something wrong with your relationship.

 

[Elizabeth92]

These are TEMPORARY orders. Dad should sort these matters out at the hearing when it comes up. If you can't stand taking a short break for the betterment of all involved, then there is something wrong with your relationship.

I do not mind waiting for the sake of the children’s well-being. It is more so of an issue for him because he is having to watch his children be around moms new boyfriend but he can’t even introduce them to me.

 

[Just Blue]

For one; I was not his mistress. She had a new man living with her before him and I got involved. I guess it’s emotionally healthy for them to be around her low life partner though, right?

Legally you are his mistress. If mom were on here I would tell her the same. End one relationship before starting another. It isn't right to take your lovers around the children.

 

[Just Blue]

I do not mind waiting for the sake of the children’s well-being. It is more so of an issue for him because he is having to watch his children be around moms new boyfriend but he can’t even introduce them to me.

Really? Then why isn't he the one on here asking question? Seems like he would be if he was upset about the situation.

 

[Zigner]

I do not mind waiting for the sake of the children’s well-being. It is more so of an issue for him because he is having to watch his children be around moms new boyfriend but he can’t even introduce them to me.

Wait - you haven't even MET the children? Oh boy - just wait...really.

 

[Elizabeth92]

Really? Then why isn't he the one on here asking question? Seems like he would be if he was upset about the situation.

I don’t think it really matters who ask the question. Have you never helped your significant other out by doing something they may not know how to do? Regardless, he’s consulting his lawyer in the very near future. Just because I ask, doesn’t mean anything...yes, it is frustrating to have to watch the mom spitefully flaunt this man around her kids when their father is suffering from her not even allowing him to be the dad he is. Anyone who cares about somebody is going to be feel their pain and try to help them which is why I asked.

 

[not2cleverRed]

For one; I was not his mistress. She had a new man living with her before him and I got involved. I guess it’s emotionally healthy for them to be around her low life partner though, right?

You kinda are.

Look, if Mom's boyfriend were on here we'd tell him he was an adulterer too.

However, Mom's boyfriend isn't here. You are.
Dad didn't file for divorce, even though Mom was committing adultery. Nope, instead he decided that since she was an adulterer, he could be too.
So, since Mom filed before he did, she gets to make the first round of demands in the temporary orders.
Of course, Dad could have stuck up for himself a little better in his response. *shrug*

Is it right or fair, morally? No. But it is legal.

So, bide your time, make things easy for your boyfriend by helping him abide by the temporary orders.

Yes, that's my legal advice.

Also, I would advise you to tell him to get a decent lawyer, but please don't saddle yourself with the retainment fee. Dad has to do this himself.

 

[Just Blue]

I don’t think it really matters who ask the question. Have you never helped your significant other out by doing something they may not know how to do? Regardless, he’s consulting his lawyer in the very near future. Just because I ask, doesn’t mean anything...yes, it is frustrating to have to watch the mom spitefully flaunt this man around her kids when their father is suffering from her not even allowing him to be the dad he is. Anyone who cares about somebody is going to be feel their pain and try to help them which is why I asked.

In you opening post you said he was a new boyfriend....but now he a SO? And no. I would never be so presumptuous to post my boyfiends legal situation on the net. If he was bothered by mom's actions he should have noted that at court. Likely the Judge would have placed a No Paramour order for both of them.

 

[Elizabeth92]

Wait - you haven't even MET the children? Oh boy - just wait...really.

No I have not, she went first thing when she found out he was seeing me (even though she had already been seeing/staying

You kinda are.

Look, if Mom's boyfriend were on here we'd tell him he was an adulterer too.

However, Mom's boyfriend isn't here. You are.
Dad didn't file for divorce, even though Mom was committing adultery. Nope, instead he decided that since she was an adulterer, he could be too.
So, since Mom filed before he did, she gets to make the first round of demands in the temporary orders.
Of course, Dad could have stuck up for himself a little better in his response. *shrug*

Is it right or fair, morally? No. But it is legal.

So, bide your time, make things easy for your boyfriend by helping him abide by the temporary orders.

Yes, that's my legal advice.

Also, I would advise you to tell him to get a decent lawyer, but please don't saddle yourself with the retainment fee. Dad has to do this himself.

I appreciate the response, I understand what you’re saying about they are both at fault for “aldultry” and no it doesn’t make a difference to some but at least he waited until he had told her their marriage was not going anywhere and he wanted a divorce due to her lack of trying. He has a lawyer, I believe he is a very reputable one as well

 

[Zigner]

... their father is suffering from her not even allowing him to be the dad he is.

If the man can't be a decent father without you around, he's not going to be a better father with you around.

 

[Elizabeth92]

If the man can't be a decent father without you around, he's not going to be a better father with you around.

That has to be the most ignorant comment, yet. He has 2 sons and a daughter that he has provided for their entire life while their mom was either sitting on her rear end at home or out at the bar. It was absolutely nothing to do with him being a "better" father with me around. It has everything to do with HIM being denied the right to his children and not being able to move on with his life as she is clearly doing.

 

[Zigner]

It has everything to do with HIM being denied the right to his children and not being able to move on with his life as she is clearly doing.

He's not been denied that right in the least.

You really sound like a petulant child. I'm beginning to believe that mom's on to something....

 

[Ohiogal]

Hello I live in Tennessee.

My now boyfriend, is going through a divorce with his soon to be ex wife and there have been multiple issues concerning the children. I am asking for feedback/advice on this due to my name being put in their divorce papers by soon to be ex wife. She filed for divorce first and put in the temporary papers that I am not allowed to be around her children when they are in their fathers custody. I have no criminal record, I have never been in any sort of trouble with law enforcement (other than a speeding ticket) and have raised a child myself and constantly have had a job. I know those things probably do not make much of a difference but I wanted to lay them out there. I am trying to understand how she can do that to me with no grounds. However, she will not allow me around her children but she already has a boyfriend who is living with her who has 6-7 kids that he does not have custody of and is an “in and out” (mainly out) type of father. I know that may not matter but, again, just trying to understand how that is ok but my name is in the papers saying I cannot be around the children when they’re in the custody of their father yet the mother has already moved a new man into her house and has him around the kids daily. Also, their divorce has not even went to mediation yet or had it’s first official hearing other than her getting the temporary papers signed off on.

What legal action can be taken to have my name removed? Advice? Feedback?

So you are involved in an adulterous relationship. You are committing adultery. Why should you be allowed around as you are a paramour? A non paramour order is something that is traditional. Dad shouldn't be sleeping around when he is married and shouldn't expose his children to his sex partners before he is divorced. The boyfriend should not be allowed around either but that is up to dad to argue.

 

[Ohiogal]

That has to be the most ignorant comment, yet. He has 2 sons and a daughter that he has provided for their entire life while their mom was either sitting on her rear end at home or out at the bar. It was absolutely nothing to do with him being a "better" father with me around. It has everything to do with HIM being denied the right to his children and not being able to move on with his life as she is clearly doing.

He is a new boyfriend. YOUR comment is the most ignorant. You haven't been around the children's entire life. You don't know what has happened. HE could fight for his rights. YOU need to learn your place, sit in the corner and shut up. You are NOT Baby and this is NOT Dirty Dancing.

 

[stealth2]

I would tell both Mom & Dad the same thing - end one relationship before starting another - and certainly before involving the children. But.... neither Mom nor Dad are here - only you. So... I'll tell you a variation - don't get involved with a parent OR the children until (a) the divorce is final AND (b) said parent has taken the time for himself (since it's Dad you're involved with) AND his children to heal from the divorce. His focus should be on his kids, not a new g/f. Really. His kids need HIM now, especially since Mom is otherwise occupied. There's plenty of time for moving on.