Is she old enough to choose who to live with? PLEASE HELP SOON!

[Mmozey]

What is the name of your state? Washington.

I also posted this message in custody issues, however it deals with both. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years, he has a little sister who is fourteen. I have been like a mother figure to her because he mother has often left her with me at their house etc. and just went off to live somewhere else for a few months. Now her mother doesn't like either her son or I because she got jelous when her daughter started to tell her that she thought of me as a mother figure and cut off all contact. Their sisters mother has been in many relationships, a few of those resulting in violence towards my boyfriend when he was his sisters age. His sister used to tell me when she was around 8 years their mother had a boyfriend that would watch her get dressed etc. Recently, her therapist suggested that she move out, her father can't take her because of a lease and a new wife, I would be overjoyed to care for her. I believe in Washington state that it is ok for someone her age to choose which parent she wants to live with without there being any real legal action because it becomes her choice, if the parent she wishes to move in with is ok with it. I was wondering if the same applied to her brother, if she could just move over here (shes only a block away), or if she doesn't have that choice, legally what would we need to do? and is it realisitic that we could get 'custody'?? Please help, I need a solution fast, we're are desperate to help her.

 

[stealth2]

There is only one state that permits a child to choose - that's GA.

 

[tekinvestigator]

Tennessee also if the child is 12 or older

 

[stealth2]

Would you provide that statute, tek? As far as I know, only GA allows the child to choose. In all other states, a judge MAY take the child's wishes into consideration, but the CHILD does not make the choice.

 

[Mmozey]

So legally is there anything we can do? I understand she does not have the choice, but if we were to take legal action could we? What would it be?

 

[stealth2]

Anyone can file for anything. The outcome is impossible to predict, tho. Really, his best bet would be to speak with a local attorney who could look at ALL the facts involved.

 

[Mmozey]

We have contacted a few people today concerning the matter and they have told us to talk to a man at the Juvenile detetion center here in our town concerning something called a CHIN petition. His little sister would have to file it, from what they told us it is a petition that states that a parent is unwilling or unable to take proper care of their child. Have you heard of this, I have been researching it on the internet to see what is needed to file this petition, the man we are supposed to speak to is out of town currently, so I am looking for any info. I can find. Do you know of anything?

 

[CarrieMartin]

i went through a custody battle with my parents very young... but i am not sure how it would work w/ other imediate family members. here in CA a childs feelings and wants are taken into deep consideration... but at such an influential age, so are their motivations. but before it has to go to a judge it should go through mediation where everyone gets to voice their views and a can work towards a compromise.

i know that at 14 i could have made an important choice like the afore mentioned, but i did not want to b/c of pressure from both sides, loyalties etc. outside of your legal concerns i really want to emphasize how all this affects a youth. your options seem to involve her to a great extent. watch for signs of distress. i would not normally post something like this... but it seemed important on a personal level.