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Is telling and advising on cheater's spouse legal?

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quincy

Senior Member
the woman had a sexual relationship with someone in her place of employment because she felt it was necessary in order to keep her job

With respect, Q, that is the DEFINITION of quid pro quo sexual harassment, and there is no requirement that she have been fired for her to file a complaint.
Oh, I don't disagree with your comment on sexual harassment, cbg. In fact, I think I said earlier that the advice the attorney offered the woman (to "forget and move on") could be improved upon if there is evidence of sexual harassment (and not just a consensual sexual relationship gone awry).

I only question your "wrongful termination" comment because we don't know (yet) if the woman lost her job or not.

And the woman, or at least mayfever, does not seem all that concerned about the job in what has been posted so far. The concern appears to be with the legality of telling the story of the relationship to the other party's spouse and family.
 


cbg

I'm a Northern Girl
If she's still employed, then she obviously doesn't have a wrongful termination claim. But she can still have a sexual harassment claim.
 

quincy

Senior Member
If she's still employed, then she obviously doesn't have a wrongful termination claim. But she can still have a sexual harassment claim.
Agreed.

And, if she does have a legitimate sexual harassment claim, there are better people to talk to than the spouse and the family of the person she was sexually harassed by. ;)
 

TigerD

Senior Member
For some reason I read the OPs post as being a third party to the situation. (Or fourth party if you included the excluded wife)

Oh, dear, I may need to make a flow chart for this one.

DC
 

quincy

Senior Member
For some reason I read the OPs post as being a third party to the situation. (Or fourth party if you included the excluded wife)

Oh, dear, I may need to make a flow chart for this one.

DC
:)

mayfever talks about a woman but never makes it clear if s/he is this woman. Maybe mayfever will return to let us know.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
This is nice? :eek:
It is true. If she didn't take the proper steps, she may be found to be nothing more than the boss' mistress. If she approaches the guy's wife expecting to get satisfaction from that -- guess what? She should expect to be treated as such because she will not be seen as an innocent. She was not raped. She voluntarily slept with the boss. What evidence does she have that this was harassment if she didn't report it? Her saying it was doesn't make it true and going to the boss' wife is not going to help her in any case. Look at Sterling.
 

mmmagique

Member
It is true. If she didn't take the proper steps, she may be found to be nothing more than the boss' mistress. If she approaches the guy's wife expecting to get satisfaction from that -- guess what? She should expect to be treated as such because she will not be seen as an innocent. She was not raped. She voluntarily slept with the boss. What evidence does she have that this was harassment if she didn't report it? Her saying it was doesn't make it true and going to the boss' wife is not going to help her in any case. Look at Sterling.
This may be the only guy she's ever slept with in her life. Or the second. So we really don't know if she's a "slut" as you called her. (among other things.) You said you were going to be "nice" then went on a name calling spree. I just couldn't reconcile the two, and wondered how you did. I guess one person's nice is another person's naming and shaming.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
This may be the only guy she's ever slept with in her life. Or the second. So we really don't know if she's a "slut" as you called her. (among other things.) You said you were going to be "nice" then went on a name calling spree. I just couldn't reconcile the two, and wondered how you did. I guess one person's nice is another person's naming and shaming.
In this instance though I think OG was trying to point out what the reaction would be from the wife of boss, and probably the boss too...rather than naming and shaming.
 

quincy

Senior Member
This may be the only guy she's ever slept with in her life. Or the second. So we really don't know if she's a "slut" as you called her. (among other things.) You said you were going to be "nice" then went on a name calling spree. I just couldn't reconcile the two, and wondered how you did. I guess one person's nice is another person's naming and shaming.
Unfortunately, mmmagique, the treatment the woman receives could be very much as Ohiogal says it could be.

If the woman is really concerned about having been forced into a sexual relationship to keep her job and also concerned about her reputation, the woman needs to report the sexual harassment as outlined by cbg.

Informing the family and spouse of her sexual relationship with their family member is the wrong way to handle a case of sexual harassment. If the woman goes about it this way, she can expect to be looked at as "a mistress who was dumped and now has sour grapes" and as a "slut" (or worse) by the spouse and family and a good portion of the public.

I am not blunt like Ohiogal but Ohiogal has provided the poster with a (perhaps necessary) taste of un-sugar-coated reality. The bluntness can have a greater effect on posters than niceness and happy faces. :) ;)
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
In this instance though I think OG was trying to point out what the reaction would be from the wife of boss, and probably the boss too...rather than naming and shaming.
Yes. That is exactly what I was trying to do. And Quincy is correct. As is CBG and the others who say she should file a PROPER complaint. Going to the spouse is the exact WRONG THING to do because it is not going to result in what the OP thinks is good but most likely in derision aimed at the woman.
 

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