Is there a reason to change through court?

[Nevergrowup]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MO

Good afternoon!

My daughter's Dad recently lost his job. I suspect he may end up traveling when he becomes employed again, just from things he has mentioned to me. I plan on letting him know that if it helps him out, he can pay partial cs for a while (maybe until his tax return or something). I'm not sure he'll do that but I thought I would offer, he pays me directly although it is court ordered.

My main question is about visitation. Currently he has her e/o/w. He is entitled to a night during the week although he does not utilize it. We often change weekends when necessary on either side, and we don't follow the order for holidays, we just figure it out ourselves each year. If he begins traveling, and needs to considerably change when/how he has her, is there any reason that we have to do that legally? Is there anything that would be a negative for me just to work it out together, as we do when we switch a weekend here and there? He may want less weekends, more summer time or something, and I don't see an upside to going through court when it may change often, unless there is something legal I am missing.

Background...been to court only once, when she was 8, we were never married, she is 13. Although at this point she doesn't love going over there often (stepmom issues) she needs to be able to see him as often as he is able, in my opinion, so I want to be as flexible as possible. We get along great now that stepmom is no longer inserting herself (she backed off a couple of years ago).

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

It depends. court orders protect all the parties; basically, every one knows the rules.

Now, it doesn't mean that the parents can't act like adults and figure it out themselves. My court order for my boys said "reasonable rights". Not much. We figured it out because it was what is best for the children. My X had rotating days off, so we planned that he had the children on his days off and on the holidays that he had off. what it meant was that I usually had the children most weekends, but when he was off, they were with him. Every 3rd year, he pretty much had all the holidays, but that was okay - I had them the other two years's worth. That sounds like what you two are doing - acting like adults and making it work for the child.

Now, with X #2 - I really should have had a much more detailed court order because one of us (not me) doesn't play nicely.

So, if it works for both parties, then do your thing. But, if things get mucked up, then spend the money to file a motion with your agreed upon parenting plan.

 

[Nevergrowup]

Ginny, thank you very much for reading and taking the time to respond!