curious123
Member
What is the name of your state? Ny
I'm back after a long hiatus and to relate my latest encounter with the ex to you as I BEG for someone to present to me some clause in the custody law of NY that would allow a change where the other parent is not physically harming the children. Now, I will just get to the point of this story. I am going to graduate (A.A.) tomorrow and I asked my ex 2 weeks ago if I could have my children a little earlier for the ceremony- I usually have them from 3p.m EO Friday; I wanted to have them from 7am-she told me no problem. Of course, in retrospect I should have known it would never be that easy...my wife actually didn't say a word when I told her she just gave me the "we'll see about that" expression... she was right. My wife went out and bought suitable clothes for my children to wear for the ceremony, ie, shirt tie and dress pants for the boys and something pretty for my daughter. That Friday I went with my daughter to buy her shoes and the weekend we had the boys, she bought dress shoes for them as well.
We were all ready to go...then the ex calls. The boys said they were wearing long sleeves...it's hot outside they will bleed to death (her words mind you) they MUST wear short sleeves or else they can't go. No problem, my wife goes out and buys short sleeves...Relay that to ex (who refused to answer her phone so it had to be done thru my oldest)...boys must wear short pants...This is ridiculous I tell my daughter, I'm sorry, your mom doesn't want you to come, we'll celebrate some other time..She says (big step for her to say since she has been under so much of her mother's control until her stepfather left) Dad, just say that you're going to do it...we'll wear whatever you have...I say ok...fine..message given to mother.... She MUST see PICS of the clothes we're putting on the boys or they can't go...Purple in the face by now...but I take pics and email them to my daughter (don't have ex's email address)...Daughter emails me back...now SHE has to wear short pants or none of them can go (my wife had bought her dress pants).
My daughter is REALLY upset by now- I still have her email saying how much she wants to come over because she doesn't have school on Friday etc...I call my wife who goes out and buys my daughter a skirt...of course she needs pics...which I send via email...my daughter emails me back...she wants to see the skirt in person because she doesn't believe that we bought my daughter a skirt!!!!! My daughter convinces her the skirt is real by pointing out our living room couch and finally the mother tells her they can come. This morning the ex tells my daughter that she's changed her mind and that they're not allowed to come to the graduation anymore!!! I am so pissed but I feel especially for my daughter who was so looking forward to this. What an idiot!!! (Ok, honestly that wasn't my first choice of words...but I don't want to be kicked out of the forum).
I know my daughter is seeing how stupid this all is and has already told me about some instances that she pointed out to her mother of how jealous (her words) her mother is of me (my wife, my accomplishments etc- she subsequently got punished from playing with the psp I bought for her for her birthday), but I KNOW if confronted with this in court she would not (and should not have to) acknowledge it for fear of the repercussions. This is of course after about 5 years of telling my children that I am a sperm donor, a nothing, never will amount to anything etc...I don't know why I didn't see this coming.
The time is drawing nearer (September) when she has to move and as of yet she has not initiated any action or even a conversation to inform me where she plans to move to etc...Should I wait until then and then try to have custody changed esp since she is seriously off her knocker...her soon 2 be ex told me that she has been coming around to his house with my kids in her car begging him to come back, telling him even when he said NEVER, that she'll be back again when she's about to move...she also told him she was pregnant (and that she subsequently miscarried)...does that amount to enough to at least request a psych evaluation? He will testify on my behalf to that extent...would that be enough? Sorry about the VERY long post...Looking forward to your responses..What is the name of your state?
I'm back after a long hiatus and to relate my latest encounter with the ex to you as I BEG for someone to present to me some clause in the custody law of NY that would allow a change where the other parent is not physically harming the children. Now, I will just get to the point of this story. I am going to graduate (A.A.) tomorrow and I asked my ex 2 weeks ago if I could have my children a little earlier for the ceremony- I usually have them from 3p.m EO Friday; I wanted to have them from 7am-she told me no problem. Of course, in retrospect I should have known it would never be that easy...my wife actually didn't say a word when I told her she just gave me the "we'll see about that" expression... she was right. My wife went out and bought suitable clothes for my children to wear for the ceremony, ie, shirt tie and dress pants for the boys and something pretty for my daughter. That Friday I went with my daughter to buy her shoes and the weekend we had the boys, she bought dress shoes for them as well.
We were all ready to go...then the ex calls. The boys said they were wearing long sleeves...it's hot outside they will bleed to death (her words mind you) they MUST wear short sleeves or else they can't go. No problem, my wife goes out and buys short sleeves...Relay that to ex (who refused to answer her phone so it had to be done thru my oldest)...boys must wear short pants...This is ridiculous I tell my daughter, I'm sorry, your mom doesn't want you to come, we'll celebrate some other time..She says (big step for her to say since she has been under so much of her mother's control until her stepfather left) Dad, just say that you're going to do it...we'll wear whatever you have...I say ok...fine..message given to mother.... She MUST see PICS of the clothes we're putting on the boys or they can't go...Purple in the face by now...but I take pics and email them to my daughter (don't have ex's email address)...Daughter emails me back...now SHE has to wear short pants or none of them can go (my wife had bought her dress pants).
My daughter is REALLY upset by now- I still have her email saying how much she wants to come over because she doesn't have school on Friday etc...I call my wife who goes out and buys my daughter a skirt...of course she needs pics...which I send via email...my daughter emails me back...she wants to see the skirt in person because she doesn't believe that we bought my daughter a skirt!!!!! My daughter convinces her the skirt is real by pointing out our living room couch and finally the mother tells her they can come. This morning the ex tells my daughter that she's changed her mind and that they're not allowed to come to the graduation anymore!!! I am so pissed but I feel especially for my daughter who was so looking forward to this. What an idiot!!! (Ok, honestly that wasn't my first choice of words...but I don't want to be kicked out of the forum).
I know my daughter is seeing how stupid this all is and has already told me about some instances that she pointed out to her mother of how jealous (her words) her mother is of me (my wife, my accomplishments etc- she subsequently got punished from playing with the psp I bought for her for her birthday), but I KNOW if confronted with this in court she would not (and should not have to) acknowledge it for fear of the repercussions. This is of course after about 5 years of telling my children that I am a sperm donor, a nothing, never will amount to anything etc...I don't know why I didn't see this coming.
The time is drawing nearer (September) when she has to move and as of yet she has not initiated any action or even a conversation to inform me where she plans to move to etc...Should I wait until then and then try to have custody changed esp since she is seriously off her knocker...her soon 2 be ex told me that she has been coming around to his house with my kids in her car begging him to come back, telling him even when he said NEVER, that she'll be back again when she's about to move...she also told him she was pregnant (and that she subsequently miscarried)...does that amount to enough to at least request a psych evaluation? He will testify on my behalf to that extent...would that be enough? Sorry about the VERY long post...Looking forward to your responses..What is the name of your state?
Last edited:
