Is this a form of interference with visitation?

[stepmother3870]

What is the name of your state? GA. Hi, my husband is in the middle of a custody battle with his ex girlfriend. In march she was found in contempt of court, for not giving him 30 days notice of her intention to move out of the state, and not contacting him until almost a month afterward. The courts order her to pay a portion of his attorney fees, also, the court modified the original court order. Now the mother has to transport the child 1 time per month to the ncp residence for weekend visitation. The last provision on the new court order stated the defendant shall comply with the existing terms and conditions of old court order giving rise to this action. That simply means, follow the terms of the old court order except what has been specify change. So, the visitation times stayed the same, 7p on Friday until 7p on Sunday.
This is where the problem comes in. The mother is constantly, late bringing the child. She was on time only once, and that was because she had to meet with the Guardian ad litem. As a matter of a fact, she was early dropping off the child that day. And so when she asked my husband, if it was alright for her to come early and pick the child up, he said yes, because he knew she had to drive 5 hours back home. Since that day, she has never been early or even on time again. 2 months ago she got the child here after 11pm, and my husband told her then that this was unacceptable, but when she called and said she was on her way early my husband said ok. When the cp came to pick the child up that day, my husband said to her. "I would like to spend as much time with my child as possible, so next month if you are late, your going to have to pick our child up at the scheduled time 7pm". The next, month she was late again, this time she didn't drop the child off until after 1am Saturday morning,( almost a whole day late, as far as im concerned). My husband told her right then and there, "You will have to come pick the child up at the scheduled time 7pm", the mother just drove off. Well when Sunday came, as sure as water is wet, she call early to tell my husband she was on her way. He replied " don't come to my house before 7pm" the mother just hung up the phone on him. About an hour later at like 3pm, the POLICE, were knocking at our door. This women made a false police report, by, telling the police my husband wouldn't give her her child back. WHAT A CROCK *#*!. My husband simply showed them the court order, and they had no choice but to tell her to leave our premises, and don't come back until 7pm. When she came at 7pm, there were no police with her, my husband put his child in the car seat in moms car, and they drove off without incident. Is this contempt of a court order or what. Can this be looked at as interference with visitation? If my husband takes her to court for all of this, do you think the court will grant him temp custody until the custody trial comes up?What is the name of your state?

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state? GA. Hi, my husband is in the middle of a custody battle with his ex girlfriend. In march she was found in contempt of court, for not giving him 30 days notice of her intention to move out of the state, and not contacting him until almost a month afterward. The courts order her to pay a portion of his attorney fees, also, the court modified the original court order. Now the mother has to transport the child 1 time per month to the ncp residence for weekend visitation. The last provision on the new court order stated the defendant shall comply with the existing terms and conditions of old court order giving rise to this action. That simply means, follow the terms of the old court order except what has been specify change. So, the visitation times stayed the same, 7p on Friday until 7p on Sunday.
This is where the problem comes in. The mother is constantly, late bringing the child. She was on time only once, and that was because she had to meet with the Guardian ad litem. As a matter of a fact, she was early dropping off the child that day. And so when she asked my husband, if it was alright for her to come early and pick the child up, he said yes, because he knew she had to drive 5 hours back home. Since that day, she has never been early or even on time again. 2 months ago she got the child here after 11pm, and my husband told her then that this was unacceptable, but when she called and said she was on her way early my husband said ok. When the cp came to pick the child up that day, my husband said to her. "I would like to spend as much time with my child as possible, so next month if you are late, your going to have to pick our child up at the scheduled time 7pm". The next, month she was late again, this time she didn't drop the child off until after 1am Saturday morning,( almost a whole day late, as far as im concerned). My husband told her right then and there, "You will have to come pick the child up at the scheduled time 7pm", the mother just drove off. Well when Sunday came, as sure as water is wet, she call early to tell my husband she was on her way. He replied " don't come to my house before 7pm" the mother just hung up the phone on him. About an hour later at like 3pm, the POLICE, were knocking at our door. This women made a false police report, by, telling the police my husband wouldn't give her her child back. WHAT A CROCK *#*!. My husband simply showed them the court order, and they had no choice but to tell her to leave our premises, and don't come back until 7pm. When she came at 7pm, there were no police with her, my husband put his child in the car seat in moms car, and they drove off without incident. Is this contempt of a court order or what. Can this be looked at as interference with visitation? If my husband takes her to court for all of this, do you think the court will grant him temp custody until the custody trial comes up?What is the name of your state?

Regarding your question (in bold): no. NO NO NO. Being late or early or rude is NOT a change of circumstances for emergency custodial changes.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? GA. Hi, my husband is in the middle of a custody battle with his ex girlfriend. In march she was found in contempt of court, for not giving him 30 days notice of her intention to move out of the state, and not contacting him until almost a month afterward. The courts order her to pay a portion of his attorney fees, also, the court modified the original court order. Now the mother has to transport the child 1 time per month to the ncp residence for weekend visitation. The last provision on the new court order stated the defendant shall comply with the existing terms and conditions of old court order giving rise to this action. That simply means, follow the terms of the old court order except what has been specify change. So, the visitation times stayed the same, 7p on Friday until 7p on Sunday.
This is where the problem comes in. The mother is constantly, late bringing the child. She was on time only once, and that was because she had to meet with the Guardian ad litem. As a matter of a fact, she was early dropping off the child that day. And so when she asked my husband, if it was alright for her to come early and pick the child up, he said yes, because he knew she had to drive 5 hours back home. Since that day, she has never been early or even on time again. 2 months ago she got the child here after 11pm, and my husband told her then that this was unacceptable, but when she called and said she was on her way early my husband said ok. When the cp came to pick the child up that day, my husband said to her. "I would like to spend as much time with my child as possible, so next month if you are late, your going to have to pick our child up at the scheduled time 7pm". The next, month she was late again, this time she didn't drop the child off until after 1am Saturday morning,( almost a whole day late, as far as im concerned). My husband told her right then and there, "You will have to come pick the child up at the scheduled time 7pm", the mother just drove off. Well when Sunday came, as sure as water is wet, she call early to tell my husband she was on her way. He replied " don't come to my house before 7pm" the mother just hung up the phone on him. About an hour later at like 3pm, the POLICE, were knocking at our door. This women made a false police report, by, telling the police my husband wouldn't give her her child back. WHAT A CROCK *#*!. My husband simply showed them the court order, and they had no choice but to tell her to leave our premises, and don't come back until 7pm. When she came at 7pm, there were no police with her, my husband put his child in the car seat in moms car, and they drove off without incident. Is this contempt of a court order or what. Can this be looked at as interference with visitation? If my husband takes her to court for all of this, do you think the court will grant him temp custody until the custody trial comes up?What is the name of your state?

With a 5 hour drive, some leeway HAS to be given. All kinds of things can happen to slow things down.....particularly if she is working and unable to get away from work early, or she runs into serious construction or an accident on the road.

Also, I don't know how old the child is, but if mom picks up the child at 7PM, then she gets home at midnight at best. If the child has school the next day that is REALLY hard on the child.

I agree that mom needs to be a whole lot more on the ball, but its also possible that 7PM truly isn't the best time for pick up and drop off.

 

[stepmother3870]

With a 5 hour drive, some leeway HAS to be given. All kinds of things can happen to slow things down.....particularly if she is working and unable to get away from work early, or she runs into serious construction or an accident on the road.

Also, I don't know how old the child is, but if mom picks up the child at 7PM, then she gets home at midnight at best. If the child has school the next day that is REALLY hard on the child.

I agree that mom needs to be a whole lot more on the ball, but its also possible that 7PM truly isn't the best time for pick up and drop off.

My Husband also thinks 7pm is a little late considering the 5hr drive. When the original time was set, mom and child only lived 20min away. The time 2 should have been modified, but it was not, so it stands. But, my husband is a really good guy, and he tried to work with the mother, remember i said when she dropped the child off early (it was about 3pm), and my husband let her come early n pick the child up. Even when she came after 11pm, he let her pick the child up early, but enough is enough, she cant have her cake and eat it too. Mom wants everything her way or her way. If she wants to pick child up at 3pm, mom should get her here by 3pm, not 1am. Its only 1 time per month, she has to make some sacrifice's.

 

[LdiJ]

My Husband also thinks 7pm is a little late considering the 5hr drive. When the original time was set, mom and child only lived 20min away. The time 2 should have been modified, but it was not, so it stands. But, my husband is a really good guy, and he tried to work with the mother, remember i said when she dropped the child off early (it was about 3pm), and my husband let her come early n pick the child up. Even when she came after 11pm, he let her pick the child up early, but enough is enough, she cant have her cake and eat it too. Mom wants everything her way or her way. If she wants to pick child up at 3pm, mom should get her here by 3pm, not 1am. Its only 1 time per month, she has to make some sacrifice's.

Does she honestly have a job that would allow for that to be possible? To have the child there by three would basically mean taking the entire day off work if she works 8-5. You still haven't said how old the child is, and would that even be possible once the child is in school?

Yes, mom is required to obey the orders, but realism has to be taken into consideration, as well as the best interest of the child, even if its only once a month.

Also, if you don't think that 10 hours of driving, (20 if she goes back home and then comes back) isn't a pretty big sacrifice with today's gas prices, you aren't thinking it through clearly.

Believe me, I don't think that mom should be able to call the shots here, its simply that I think realism and the best interest of the child have to come into play.

If it were my child, I wouldn't have a fit about it (assuming mom gets off work at 5) unless mom didn't get there by 11:00, and I would be insisting that mom pick up the child by 4, so that the child was home by 9:00.

If I knew that mom had a flexible enough job that she really could be there by 7, that's when I would insist that she do that.

 

[stepmother3870]

Mom has a part time job at a place that is open 7 days a week. I'm sure she can show them her court order and asked for 1 weekend off a month. Also the child is in daydare not school yet. We also dont want the child on the road that late. Going home OR COMING. But she is the one who chose to move, and that was her right. But my husband and child seem to be the one that has to pay the price, with the amount of time they get to spend together.

 

[Ohiogal]

Mom has a part time job at a place that is open 7 days a week. I'm sure she can show them her court order and asked for 1 weekend off a month. Also the child is in daydare not school yet. We also dont want the child on the road that late. Going home OR COMING. But she is the one who chose to move, and that was her right. But my husband and child seem to be the one that has to pay the price, with the amount of time they get to spend together.

Why doesn't dad handle the transportation on Sundays? That way he still gets to be with his child during that time but the child is home at a reasonable hour. This fighting over transportation is stupidity quite frankly.

 

[tuffbrk]

Do you happen to have any of your own children? It sure sounds as if you don't. It doesn't matter that the child is in daycare as opposed to school. Mom still has to wake the child up at a pre-determined time to go to daycare. Wouldn't you love being a toddler and having Mom come wake you up, dress you, brush your hair, teeth - maybe give you breakfast if not given at daycare and then dropped off wile you're barely awake? The child may have woken up when Mom was getting her out of the car, then has to go back to sleep - hoepfully didn't think it was a nap!! The child had no time to get re-acquainted with her toys, re-settled in her home, have some "face time" with Mom or anything, even the child's typical bedtime "ritual" was not followed - and next thing the child knows - it's time for daycare.

It's about the CHILD. Not the Ex and certainly not you. Get over yourself.

 

[stepmother3870]

Do you happen to have any of your own children? It sure sounds as if you don't. It doesn't matter that the child is in daycare as opposed to school. Mom still has to wake the child up at a pre-determined time to go to daycare. Wouldn't you love being a toddler and having Mom come wake you up, dress you, brush your hair, teeth - maybe give you breakfast if not given at daycare and then dropped off wile you're barely awake? The child may have woken up when Mom was getting her out of the car, then has to go back to sleep - hoepfully didn't think it was a nap!! The child had no time to get re-acquainted with her toys, re-settled in her home, have some "face time" with Mom or anything, even the child's typical bedtime "ritual" was not followed - and next thing the child knows - it's time for daycare.

It's about the CHILD. Not the Ex and certainly not you. Get over yourself.

You make a good point. I would like this all to be resolved. But in the mean time what should my husband do? What should the child do, just see her dad never? I know the baby didnt ask to be in this position, and niether did dad. I just want everyone to get along, for the childs sake. And by the way i have 2 kids and 1 on the way. But doesnt stop my husband or me from loving and wanting to have our other child in our life. Is that so wrong?

 

[CJane]

But in the mean time what should my husband do?

It would probably be in the best interests of the child if dad would do 1/2 the transportation - either return the child on Sundays or meet mom 1/2 way on both Friday and Sunday. My kids LOVE roadtrips - so it might be fun for them.