Is this acceptable parenting

[bolddiva]

Hi there! I am a teacher dating a man for the last two years. He has been apart from his ex wife for over 3 years. Their divorce is waiting for approval after they completed the parenting required class. I am in my mid 40's and been teaching for 19 years. I also was a nanny for many years. My boyfriend's ex wife is a nurse and works the night shift. They have a parenting app and she choses when she has off and then he gets the schedule. So since this is the summer, I am off. The ex wife did not tell my boyfriend that she was dropping off the son one day last week. I live with my boyfriend full time and wasn't expecting him till that evening. I have only briefly met this mom which I went out to the car a few weeks before to introduce myself. Is that appropriate that this mom drop him off (he's 14 but not responsible...he leaves ovens on, lights fire ant piles on fire etc) and go home to sleep since she works the night shift and let someone else watch him and make sure he is safe????????

 

[Just Blue]

What is theFL name of your state?

Please provide more information...Thx.

 

[bolddiva]

Is she being an unfit mother when she drops her son off with me who is a total stranger to her to provide care and this not be told to her ex husband???

 

[bolddiva]

And I was wondering if the judge requires a set in stone parenting plan?? The kids don't know where they are going to on any particular day

 

[Zigner]

Are you suggesting that your boyfriend's live-in girlfriend is not a competent adult? If so, then I would tell your boyfriend that he really needs to find a new girlfriend.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

If I'm reading this right.

The OP is the live-in girlfriend and it sounds like she is questioning her own competence to keep the child.

 

[bolddiva]

I am the boyfriends girlfriend who is a teacher. The MOTHER of the son drops him off without notice and then gets into trouble when he is alone. The mom goes home and sleeps during the day. My boyfriend is at work at this time.

 

[cbg]

She is the live-in of the son's father. It offends her that the boy's mother needs sleep after working the night shift and leaves the boy at his father's home WITHOUT ASKING (gasp).

A 14 year old should well be able to be left without supervision. If no one has taught him to be responsible, well, that's as much on Daddy as it is on Mommy, toots.

 

[bolddiva]

Are you a daycare provider? If not...Who are you in this situation?

I am a stranger to this mom. I am a competent adult but I am not getting paid and she feels it's acceptable to drop him off in a house instead of keeping him till the dad gets off work

 

[Zigner]

I am the boyfriends girlfriend who is a teacher. The MOTHER of the son drops him off without notice and then gets into trouble when he is alone. The mom goes home and sleeps during the day. My boyfriend is at work at this time.

Your first post strongly implies that the child is dropped off with you at the home. He is not alone.

If you don't like it, then move.

 

[Zigner]

I am a stranger to this mom. I am a competent adult but I am not getting paid and she feels it's acceptable to drop him off in a house instead of keeping him till the dad gets off work

You really need to find a new boyfriend. You expect to be paid for hanging out with his 14 year old son?

 

[bolddiva]

She is the live-in of the son's father. It offends her that the boy's mother needs sleep after working the night shift and leaves the boy at his father's home WITHOUT ASKING (gasp).

A 14 year old should well be able to be left without supervision. If no one has taught him to be responsible, well, that's as much on Daddy as it is on Mommy, toots.

So she is able to drop a kid off by himself vs stay at her home while she sleeps until the dad is scheduled to pick him up.

 

[Zigner]

So she is able to drop a kid off by himself vs stay at her home while she sleeps until the dad is scheduled to pick him up.

Yes, if you don't like it then move out.

 

[cbg]

So she is able to drop a kid off by himself vs stay at her home while she sleeps until the dad is scheduled to pick him up.

Unless there's a court order that expressly says she can't, she darned well can.

 

[Just Blue]

Hi there! I am a teacher dating a man for the last two years. He has been apart from his ex wife for over 3 years. Their divorce is waiting for approval after they completed the parenting required class. I am in my mid 40's and been teaching for 19 years. I also was a nanny for many years. My boyfriend's ex wife is a nurse and works the night shift. They have a parenting app and she choses when she has off and then he gets the schedule. So since this is the summer, I am off. The ex wife did not tell my boyfriend that she was dropping off the son one day last week. I live with my boyfriend full time and wasn't expecting him till that evening. I have only briefly met this mom which I went out to the car a few weeks before to introduce myself. Is that appropriate that this mom drop him off (he's 14 but not responsible...he leaves ovens on, lights fire ant piles on fire etc) and go home to sleep since she works the night shift and let someone else watch him and make sure he is safe????????

Yes, this is perfectly fine parenting. Why you would think otherwise is beyond me.