Is this Contempt of Court?

[starbud99]

What do I do? Should I file contempt papers against her??

What is the name of your state? COLORADO
Ex wife did not appear on friday when my custody was supposed to begin at the court ordered place half way between her house and mine herein my home town. I appeared there at 630 after driving for 2 hours, and she was not there, and then as the court papers say, i waited an hour after to see if she would come. I then called the county police department and recieved a writen statement to show that I was truly there, and also went in to the gas station and bought something with my credit card to show that I went to to correct place to pick up my children. Then after 745 I continued my drive to her house, and drove directly to the police department in her county. They told me they were too busy and that i would have to come back in the morning at 7am. I left, then came back bright and early and was escourted to her house by a policeman, and she still was not there. I again, recieved a police statement. I drove back home, and on the way back got a call saying i can come pick up the kids, 28 hours later. and that she was in my home town after all. So I sent my wife over to pick up the kids since i was still in route from her home town. Is she in contempt of court? and what do i do about it, since i still got the kids for a day? also, per court order, we share easter, so I had to give the kids back to her for part of the day on easter, and then the kids went home that night, so I only officailly had the kids for a period of 24 hours, insteat of 48. I just dont know if i should pursue this matter, just in case it happens again? She has threntened before, but never gone through with not giving me the kids. now shes done it once, should i pursue in case she does it again. i just want to see my kids, at the court ordered time, with no problems.

 

[abstract99]

Sounds like it.

 

[starbud99]

so what do i do?

 

[Silverplum]

Sounds like it.

Oh, for Pete's sake, if you aren't going to give a constructive answer, don't bother.

Starbud99, you did everything correctly and so smartly! Good for you.

Now you need to thoroughly read on the links below (first one is most important), and get that handled. Enforce it. Everything is laid out for you.

http://www.courts.state.co.us/chs/court/forms/domestic/enforceparentingtime.htm
(Court's site for how to enforce parenting time.)

http://www.courts.state.co.us/chs/court/forms/domestic/jdf1122.pdf
(How to set a hearing or status conference)

 

[LdiJ]

Ok...I will throw a few things out here. Since she was in your town, there is at least some slight chance that communication went awry......or that she can make a judge BELIEVE that communication went awry. Therefore its possible that she could walk away from a contempt hearing without being found in contempt, and most likely would only get a slap on the wrist if she WAS found in contempt.

Therefore I think that you should hold on to your documentation, but not take action just yet. Then, if she does it again, you will be in a stronger position for court.

 

[Silverplum]

Ok...I will throw a few things out here. Since she was in your town, there is at least some slight chance that communication went awry......or that she can make a judge BELIEVE that communication went awry. Therefore its possible that she could walk away from a contempt hearing without being found in contempt, and most likely would only get a slap on the wrist if she WAS found in contempt.

Therefore I think that you should hold on to your documentation, but not take action just yet. Then, if she does it again, you will be in a stronger position for court.

I disagree with the part I bolded in your message, LdiJ. Sure, she'll only get a slap on the wrist the first time. But the CO says he has to wait for an hour and he did. He has proof. He has legal paths to enforce his parenting time. There is no reason for him to allow this to continue. First time, second time, third time...make it stop now, or it'll be a pattern that she can do as she pleases and he doesn't care enough to enforce his parenting time. He may even lose some of his parenting time in a future court action because he didn't enforce it when he had it.

Here's another consideration: what many "outsiders" may not realize about Colorado is that visitation IS tied to child support in a way: support is calculated on how many overnights per year the kid/s spend with the NCP. It's a strict number that divides the two possible methods of calculation, Schedules A and B: the number is 93 overnights per year or more to be calculated on Schedule B, and 92 overnights or less per year to be calculated on Schedule A.

If overnights are lost, one by one by one, pretty soon the CP is going to file for recalculated/increased CS on the basis of the NCP having been *pushed onto* Schedule A. It's a nasty little game.

*edited to add: I'm not even talking here about contempt charges. I'm talking about a Motion to Enforce Parenting Time. Not the same thing, exactly. Starbud99, go forth and ENFORCE!

 

[LdiJ]

I disagree with the part I bolded in your message, LdiJ. Sure, she'll only get a slap on the wrist the first time. But the CO says he has to wait for an hour and he did. He has proof. He has legal paths to enforce his parenting time. There is no reason for him to allow this to continue. First time, second time, third time...make it stop now, or it'll be a pattern that she can do as she pleases and he doesn't care enough to enforce his parenting time. He may even lose some of his parenting time in a future court action because he didn't enforce it when he had it.

Here's another consideration: what many "outsiders" may not realize about Colorado is that visitation IS tied to child support in a way: support is calculated on how many overnights per year the kid/s spend with the NCP. It's a strict number that divides the two possible methods of calculation, Schedules A and B: the number is 93 overnights per year or more to be calculated on Schedule B, and 92 overnights or less per year to be calculated on Schedule A.

If overnights are lost, one by one by one, pretty soon the CP is going to file for recalculated/increased CS on the basis of the NCP having been *pushed onto* Schedule A. It's a nasty little game.

*edited to add: I'm not even talking here about contempt charges. I'm talking about a Motion to Enforce Parenting Time. Not the same thing, exactly. Starbud99, go forth and ENFORCE!

I fully understand what you are saying....but the advice that I gave has two different psychological perspectives. 1) Judges get annoyed when they feel that trivial or relatively trivial things get brought into court. If mom can convince the judge that was a "communication gone awry" situation..particularly since he did get part of the weekend, then the judge could be annoyed with him for bringing it to court. 2) If mom gets brought to court and then doesn't end up suffering any consequences then she is likely to feel free to do it again.

Therefore, I generally think its better not to take it to court until you have more than one instance of contempt. I am not suggesting that he wait until she has done it many times...just until she has done it more than once.

 

[Silverplum]

I see what you're saying, too, LdiJ. Good points to consider. Thanks for taking the time to type out your reasoning on this topic.

Starbud99, another possibility: you could send a letter (registered, of course) with a copy to the court (include case # and highlight it) to your X, outlining the incident as it took place. Tell her that you just want to see your kids when it's time to see your kids, period. Tell her you don't want to have to file motions against her because you just want peaceful interactions if possible. Or something like that.

The real point is the copy to the court: then it's in your Official File, it records the incident without filing charges/motions, and it shows that you were *merciful* the first time.

 

[abstract99]

The fact of the matter is that if his parenting plan says that he gets liberal visitation every other weekend then it does not necessarly mean that he gets the whole weekend every other weekend. The thing that sucks about liberal is if the mom has sole custody then it is up to her to work with dad. There is the possibility that somethink happened that day that made it not possible for mom to make it. I would look into it before you go and take her to court. What type of custody do you have?

 

[starbud99]

a reply

What I forgot to mention is that On friday, when I talked to her the first time i put her on speaker and on 3 way with my wife. She said her self that she was not going to let me see the kids for that weekend nor for summer break. I had my witness write up a statement of what she heard, and have my wife who also heard her saying she was deliberitly disobeying orders.

I have joint custody-- all spring break, 6 weeks in summer, 1 week at Christmas, every other holiday- for the weekend, and every birthday, 1 weekend per month, fathers day.

 

[abstract99]

What I forgot to mention is that On friday, when I talked to her the first time i put her on speaker and on 3 way with my wife. She said her self that she was not going to let me see the kids for that weekend nor for summer break. I had my witness write up a statement of what she heard, and have my wife who also heard her saying she was deliberitly disobeying orders.

I have joint custody-- all spring break, 6 weeks in summer, 1 week at Christmas, every other holiday- for the weekend, and every birthday, 1 weekend per month, fathers day.

Who is your witness? If it is your wife that might not help you at all in court. Your ex will claim that she is doing it because she is our wife. Of course she will take your side. I would be careful with this eavesdropping stuff. It is falling dangerously close to recording a phone call.

 

[starbud99]

I know

It was my wife and a friend as well. So I have two seperate people that heard her say that she was specifically not going to drop off the kids. I understand that it sounds like easdroping, but what else can i do? I need to show that she is not doing what she is supposed to be doing.

 

[LdiJ]

It was my wife and a friend as well. So I have two seperate people that heard her say that she was specifically not going to drop off the kids. I understand that it sounds like easdroping, but what else can i do? I need to show that she is not doing what she is supposed to be doing.

The problem is that people say things all the time in the "heat of the moment"...its not denial until they actually DENY the visitation. You certainly have enough to take it to court...however whether you have enough to ensure that mom will face serious consequences is iffy. I would honestly recommend waiting until she repeats at least one more time.

 

[abstract99]

I would check with a lawyer on the witness thing though. That is really really really close to recording a phone conversation. Did she know she was on speaker?

 

[starbud99]

a reply

Yeah she knew and I confirmed it. I guess I will just ride it out and see what happens next time. I just motioned for about 9 different thing to add to my papers, so we will see what she does now. I asked for more time with my kids, on a set everyother weekend visitation, and that was filed last week