is this marriage valid???

[celery]

Went to court with my first divorce March 14, 1996. Remarried on April 4, same year. I live in Tennessee, where both marriages took place. First husband didn't contest divorce. Now I want to divorce second husband, so here's my question--was I ever really married the second time? Please help...

 

[Ambr]

if your divorce was final in March and you married again in April - the papers were delievered (mail or hand) to the court house and the license was recorded - then yes you are legally married the second time.

were you referring to a waiting period between getting married after a divorce? when the divorce is filed - you are divorced.

 

[Grandma B]

I'm not familiar with Ohio law, but most states DO have a waiting period during which the parties may not marry anyone, anywhere, except each other. These periods vary from as little as three days to six months.

 

[celery]

I have talked to a lawyer since I posted my question, and she did say I was legally married. Guess that's a good thing since I could have gone to jail otherwise. At any rate, this divorce isn't going to be easy since the husband doesn't want it. Thanks guys.

 

[Grandma B]

I have talked to a lawyer since I posted my question, and she did say I was legally married. Guess that's a good thing since I could have gone to jail otherwise. At any rate, this divorce isn't going to be easy since the husband doesn't want it. Thanks guys.

This isn't the dark ages. He doesn't have to "want" it. As long as you want it, it will be granted. It might make it more difficult to reach a property settlement agreement, but if one can't be reached, a judge will decide who gets what.

 

[celery]

I know...he's just making it harder on me emotionally by begging and pleading, crying, that sort of thing. I'm not worried about dividing stuff. I feel like he won't ask for anything since he hasn't yet. Just wish Tennessee was a "no fault" divorce state...lawyers are presently waiting for a ruling from the Supreme Court to make it that way.

 

[Grandma B]

Just don't be surprised if he changes his tune entirely once he knows you're going through with it. Mr. "sad" might turn into Mr. "I want it all"!

You're right about the no-fault. Hard to believe all states haven't adopted that.

 

[Ambr]

you also do not "owe him" the opportunity for all of the begging and pleading.

if you know that he is going to play the emotional games and you do not want to participate then politely inform him that any correspondance should be done so through your attorney. it will probably hurt his feelings, but if you stand your ground - he will see that you are serious with it. it may reconcile him to the fact that he is getting divorces - rather he wants it or not.

of course, as GrandmaB warned, he could turn into the Mr. I want it all in a flash.

but there is no reason why you should be subjected to the emotional merry go round that he is wanting to inflict on you.

 

[celery]

You two sound like you've been there and done that...
He also got upset when I suggested he have visitation with the kids every other weekend (yeah, I get it--he doesn't mind me working 40 hours a week and caring for the kids when I get home, but heaven forbid he give up two weekends a month), not to mention his issues on paying child support. They're not biologically his kids, but he did adopt them shortly after we married. Whether he likes it or not, they are now his kids. I'm trying to be nice, but it gets harder every day...