Is this retaliation or am I looking into this too much

[MonaPhree]

About the bolded statement above:

I am not saying that your division manager was smart to say what he did, or that the actions taken against you apparently as a result of you reporting the comment to the division manager’s boss are not questionable, but what led to the division manager’s comment?

The statement would be an odd one to make without something leading up to the statement.

Absolutely understandable assumption. If I read my post I would assume there was something that led up to it too. The division manager, area manager, and myself were having a discussion about work, but I don't remember the specifics. I want to add real quick that I work in a high stress, fast paced, male dominated industry. We have a short amount of time to complete a hard job and the government inspects the work. One mishap can cost thousands to millions. Anyway, we're talking and he said (paraphrased), "I need you to let us know if we're being too hard on the team. Since you're a woman you're more sensitive so you can let us know." At that point I laughed and said, "have you met these guys?" Due to the stress levels I'm breaking up fights almost every day, they cry, they argue, etc. He said, "no I don't mean it in a bad way. I'm just saying women are more sensitive. It's just a fact. So we need your help with this." When I reported it to his boss it wasn't about what he said. The email was more about how a false assumption like that could hurt my career because over sensitive people would struggle in our line of work.

 

[quincy]

Absolutely understandable assumption. If I read my post I would assume there was something that led up to it too. The division manager, area manager, and myself were having a discussion about work, but I don't remember the specifics. I want to add real quick that I work in a high stress, fast paced, male dominated industry. We have a short amount of time to complete a hard job and the government inspects the work. One mishap can cost thousands to millions. Anyway, we're talking and he said (paraphrased), "I need you to let us know if we're being too hard on the team. Since you're a woman you're more sensitive so you can let us know." At that point I laughed and said, "have you met these guys?" Due to the stress levels I'm breaking up fights almost every day, they cry, they argue, etc. He said, "no I don't mean it in a bad way. I'm just saying women are more sensitive. It's just a fact. So we need your help with this." When I reported it to his boss it wasn't about what he said. The email was more about how a false assumption like that could hurt my career because over sensitive people would struggle in our line of work.

Thank you for returning to add more information, MonaPhree.

It is possible that the division manager, vice president and HR manager decided you were not managerial material because your comments to the division manager combined with the email indicated you had problems controlling those under your charge.

You said yourself that you were “breaking up fights almost every day, they cry, they argue, etc.” As an assistant manager, you should be an authority figure commanding enough respect so that your workers are not engaging in such behavior in the workplace.

You can discuss all facts with an employment law attorney but I am not seeing a lot to support a claim of discrimination or retaliation.

As a note, there have been several studies completed in recent years on whether women are more “emotional” or emotionally sensitive than men, spurred in part by this stereotype of women. Links to a couple of studies and an article follow, if anyone is interested:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6048193/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5784910/

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/are-women-more-emotionally-expressive-than-men/

 

[MonaPhree]

Thank you for returning to add more information, MonaPhree.

It is possible that the division manager, vice president and HR manager decided you were not managerial material because your comments to the division manager combined with the email indicated you had problems controlling those under your charge.

You said yourself that you were “breaking up fights almost every day, they cry, they argue, etc.” As an assistant manager, you should be an authority figure commanding enough respect so that your workers are not engaging in such behavior in the workplace.

You can discuss all facts with an employment law attorney but I am not seeing a lot to support a claim of discrimination or retaliation.

As a note, there have been several studies completed in recent years on whether women are more “emotional” or emotionally sensitive than men, spurred in part by this stereotype of women. Links to a couple of studies and an article follow, if anyone is interested:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6048193/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5784910/

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/are-women-more-emotionally-expressive-than-men/

I'm not going to argue about whether or not I managed correctly, but I will say that considering the division manager, area manager, site manager, safety manager, and other assistant manager are all men it seems a bit sexist to put the fighting on me. I should have specified that the tensions weren't specific to my shift. And I exaggerated on the physical fights. They aren't daily. Any fight that became physical resulted in me terminating one or both employee.

 

[quincy]

I'm not going to argue about whether or not I managed correctly, but I will say that considering the division manager, area manager, site manager, safety manager, and other assistant manager are all men it seems a bit sexist to put the fighting on me. I should have specified that the tensions weren't specific to my shift. And I exaggerated on the physical fights. They aren't daily. Any fight that became physical resulted in me terminating one or both employee.

You apparently have chosen a field of work that most women have not, which is great. All fields can benefit from diversity in the work force.

Because you are the only female in your particular male-dominated business, however, it could be easy for both you and the men you work with to look at whatever occurs in the workplace in terms of male versus female. That would not be an unnatural place of focus.

Obviously your division manager was seeing something that was occurring in your workplace that led to his remark about female sensitivity. Whether or not his observation has some merit, what he said probably would have been best left unsaid.

That said, the decisions made by the managers about your position as assistant manager could have less to do with you being female and more to do with your management style, which they might have seen as ineffective.

I agree with you that the timing is suspect but I don’t think the jump to discrimination and retaliation is an easy one. Given what you said about the conflicts among the workers under your charge (even if conditions were not as bad as you first indicated), the managers could have legitimate reasons that forced their decisions that had nothing at all to do with you being female.

You should discuss your workplace complaint and all facts with an employment law attorney in your area if you believe you were treated illegally. This is certainly not outside the realm of possibilities. I am just seeing arguments that your employer could make that takes the fact that you are female totally out of the equation.

Good luck with whatever path you choose to take.

 

[cbg]

The problem with being the only one in any given group is that it is often hard to tell if you are being termed or disciplined BECAUSE you are, in this case, female, or IN SPITE OF being female. If no adverse action could ever be taken against you because it would automatically be discrimination, that is in fact, discrimination against men; you're getting special treatment because of your gender.

That is why it would make sense to have an attorney review the specifics.

 

[quincy]

Here are links to the EEOC with brief overviews of sex-based discrimination and retaliation, with additional links to the applicable laws:

https://www.eeoc.gov/sex-based-discrimination

https://www.eeoc.gov/facts-about-retaliation