it just gets better ! Beagel, others help

[questionsinsc]

Please someone comment. I got a response finally from bio father about consent to adoption of my son by my husband. he agreed whole heartedly it is in the best interest. only 3 stipulations\
1. not responsible for past current or future c.s.
(of course we dont want it, he owes 3 yrs worth)
2. a good bye visit with my son
3. we cant change his name. ( he has my maiden name as we were nver married, doesnt have bio's name, in fact bio never signed birth cert.)

what an ass, he just wants to legally write him off and not let him be a "whole" part of our family, we have other children. what woudl you do? He wants to change his name so bad, I think that is emotionally a strong part of adoption for a child 13 yrs old.

 

[Ambr]

he's allowing the adoption - that is great!!!

(1) who cares about the support he never paid and you will probably never see a dime of - never had it, never depended on it, it doesn't matter.

(2) good bye visit??? was he ever actively involved with him before? thism ust be to calm his guilt. does your son agree with this idea? will he be willing?

(3) your son doesn't carry his name, but he doesn't want him to carry the name of the man who will be his legal father. when you do the adoption, the certificate changes and it is like the bio never existed. i can see where you want to push on that. the name change kind of makes it complete.

personally, i wouldn't agree on 3. maybe you can push that you are letting him out of all of his back support and any future support.

 

[questionsinsc]

thank you for responding
the child support is a moot point anyway you got that right!he has court ordered withhold and just moved to another state and simply doesnt pay! how nice for him. No my son isnt interested in a "goodbye" it is rediculous. But the thought of him even thinking he can lay down the law about the name is insulting, to all of us. We are seriously considering just saying fine, forget it start paying! I just dont get it. He put his "demands" in writing to my attorney, do you think a judge would see thru this or what? I am now at a stand still. The atty is out of town and basically the secretary just read me the letter over the phone. I am just so angry I cant think straight.

 

[LegalBeagle]

Do not agree to item 2 or 3! Especially 2..

Write back and be firm.. you will write off all past debt. Take it or leave it. If he should refuse then you will be pressing with contempt of court hearings for non payment.. also, you will attach anything and everything he ever owns to make sure he pays.

 

[hound dog]

Do not get angry that is exactly what he wants. i have to agree with leagle beagle give him one thing child support and I think you are being extremely nice there.Keep reminding him why he is doing this for the best interest of the child. I would say take it or leave it b/c the only thing that will change according to his stipulation is he will not have to pay child support. So he is actually relieving his self and doing NOTHING for his son.So tell him your son will get the other mans name and there will be no farewell visit unless your son wants to do that. If he does not agree get him for back child support and tell him you will be asking for an increase in two years and will be asking the judge to make him pay half of your sons college education. After that I believe he wil be knocking down the door to sign those papers. Goodluck keep us inform

 

[LegalBeagle]

You can also tell him you are going to continue anyway and force his termination of Parental Rights.. Then, the adoption will go ahead without him AND he will still be liable for all back CS.

 

[questionsinsc]

I am so glad you all think I am not being unreasonable! I totally agree. And I also agree the last visit should be up to my son. I just got the actual copy in hand as it came in the mail from the atty. he is sure we can work this out without much difficulty... HA