It just needs so be over already...

[CurtisIan]

Wife cheated, asked for divorce in January of 2018, I obliged by moving out. She agreed (verbally) to pay mortgage and utilities as "I was no longer living there", but would help with home repairs to get it on the market to sell so we could split profit. All started amicably, nice and civil & mature-knew she was cheating but never got my answer as to why/who/when/etc. At this point I know it's over and would like to move on. In the meantime, I did find out who the new guy was. July 4th- I told a mutual friend of ours "boy, if I ever see him I'll kill him" (what guy wouldn't say that after finding out? Not that I was going to act on it, just something I blurted out.) Regardless, the friend told my wife, the boyfriend then proceeded to convince her to put a P.F.A against me. Whatever. My lawyer (who absolutely sucked and did nothing for me, in fact even waived my $2,000.00 fee because he knew he screwed it up by not even having me see the judge to tell my side..) got a continuance-told me it would be for 10 days. No big deal, I figured I'd just wait it out. Turns out it ended up being for 6 months or until the house is sold. Therein lies the problem, she has stopped paying the mortgage, it is headed for foreclosure soon. All I want it communication and to have this thing dropped so I can get my house back into the good with the mortgage company and get it sold. She has also since dropped me from her health care plan (which I offered to pay for..) and I have epilepsy, so I need medicine and neurologist visits and could not afford. (Have since got my own great plan through my job which they pay for 100%!) Changed all the utilities into her name, but did NOT pay them for a few months leaving me hold the bag on those, again without telling me, destroying my credit even further... Her and the new boyfriend broke into my camp and stole things (and he even had the BALLS to e-mail me pictures of them doing it!!) Yet i continued to help.. Agreed to sign off on her retirement fund to pull money out so she could "save the house". Said I would if she dropped all this nonsense, but to no avail-she had me over a barrel with the possibility of losing our house. Did that in September with the agreement (through a friend for communication) that house would be on the market by month's end. It is now December, house still probably going into foreclosure, I want to help but have my own place, vehicle payments, insurance, fuel, groceries, etc. to pay. A daughter in college that I help pay for as well. Paying on loans for the wife because they were in both names and don't want credit further ruined (but at this point....) Wife also lost her job in July and never told anyone for over a month, further putting mortgage even more behind without my knowledge, as she took me off of as a contact point from them (again, without my knowledge). As you can see, I need out of this mess, I NEED communication so I can help get this house sold & finish any repairs and get info on what needs paid to get things up to date, she is hurting us both financially as of right now. Screwball lawyer told me after 6 months that I would be able to go in and take control of house to try to sell (I am not believing this, as I see it nowhere on any official documents..) Another lawyer told me I could petition the court to either take over or force her to put it on the market. House is in both of our names. Without communication, how can she sign any document with a real estate agent without me being there to sign as well? Seller disclosure statements need signed, how can I even do that without communicating? What about negotiations? Going to get very tiring with going through other people, and even if that does work, this thing will be dropped regardless the day it sells, so THEN there WILL be communication! What difference does it make that I cannot talk to her now? I don't want fighting, arguing, bickering. As I have said, it's over, I want and need to move on. I am already seeing someone my self, but my soon to be ex-wife (who, by the way STILL has not drawn up any divorce papers!-she wanted it, she can do the leg work..) She claims that I was going into the house at will when she wasn't home before all this came about-somewhat true, as our home is 1/2 mile away from my workplace, but I was going in to paint, repair, fix things she was asking to be fixed. But of course told the judge she was afraid for her life (!) because I could come and go at will. Yes, I own guns, she had the court make me "relinquish" them. All of the sudden, even though she would never even look at my guns let alone touch them, she now owns a pistol, a concealed carry permit, and goes to the shooting range with the new boyfriend!! Now is crying to our 23 year-old son (who refuses to speak to her, further making things more difficult) that "No one will help me"! Need I go on about what is wrong with all of this? In summary: Willing to help/Want house sold/Want divorce papers drawn up and signed/ want to move on with no ill will/want to restore my credit. There are many other things she has done to make this difficult, and I also understand there are 2 sides to every story, but I have sat back keeping my mouth shut waiting this out, but it is only hurting us both in the meantime. Our 2 children do not speak to her which breaks my heart-she IS after all their mother.. My life is in shambles because of all the things (which I can fill a book with) that she has done, but you don't have that kind of time. My main question-how can I have this forcibly dropped, if at all, to get moving forward for us both? And please note, I am NOT looking to cause any trouble out of this, I am a very easy-going guy, I don't want drama, I just want my life back. Any information would be greatly appreciated, thanks in advance. (Pennsylvania)

 

[adjusterjack]

I am NOT looking to cause any trouble out of this

There's your problem. You need to go scorched earth on this, file for divorce, and salvage whatever you can. Or give it up and file bankruptcy and start all over.