Since we are posting thread deleters...
OG response
Originally Posted by jlm40675*
Indiana. Elkhart*
I am the mother in this situation an it is COMPLICATED!
Have 2 girls born in 97 and 98. Never married their father. In 2000 we entered into joint custody agreement. In 2001 I developed drug habit. In 2002 he was awarded custody, visitation was awarded to me, and child support was ordered. From 2002 to 2004 I only saw the girls twice. In 2004 he petitioned against me for non payment of support.*
In 2004 we were never heard by judge in court. The judge did not see or sign any agreements between us. However him and his attorney approached me in court about terminating my rights at that time because of the addiction. The paper I signed in court was typed, had lines crossed out and lines written in. I was informed that that paper would be signed by the court on that day and that as with any termination all rights would be gone.
Did not see or hear form him or minor children until 2005 when I moved to S.C. and got sober. (Have been sober ever since) In 2005 he initiated contact because of a wedding in my family that I was attending and he intended for girls to attend. We were reunited at that time and spent a few days together. I have maintained phone comunication when he would allow it since that time and have seen the girls once to twice a year with exception of two years for 3-5 days.
In January of this year he filed modification of support petition with court. I was shocked because as far as I knew support was abated in 2004. So I requested court record $85.00 and a week later I found out that no termination was ever filed with the court. At that time I filed petition to hold him in contempt of visitation order and filed memorandum of estoppel defense. He hired attorney and filed contempt complaint.*
3-26 we were heard in open court. It was set for 30 min hearing but took 3 hours. In court his attorney withdrew his modification of support complaint which left my petition first filed. The court heard all testimony and releveant evidence on my complaint from both sides. Then we moved on to his petition. His attorney gave his side offered his evidence and called his witnesses. A document bearing a file stamp from the date in 2004 was presented to the court for review. The document was hand written and stated that I gave my consent for adoption. This document was never shown to me just the judge. Was read into evidence but not entered. Was stated to bear my signature and his attorneys but no signature by a judge. He testified on the stand that he knew the paper was never filed with the court. That he begged his attorney to file it but he refused to do so and that he fired the attorney because of it. He also testified that it was his intent at that time for his wife to adopt our children and that he was now filing the papers to do so.*
After his attorney was done the judge started talking and said this "let me get this right she is saying you are in contempt for violating her visitation rights and you are saying she is in contempt for not paying support but somewhere in the middle of this an alleged termination took place". He then ruled that neither were in contempt and the 2002 order was to be followed. He further stated to him that if anyone was in contempt it would be him because he knew the facts and failed to tell anyone and denied my rights anyway. I informed the judge that I was leaving that night and wanted to visit with my children. He ruled a visit was in order. I then stated that I would be exercising my spring break visitation at which time he stated the girls had spring break TWO weeks prior. So the judge ruled it was a non issue. My kids went on spring break 3-26 of this year the same day we were in the court room.
At the visit that nigh my youngest refused to go and my eldest informed me why. There father has told them and allowed them to; attend attorney meetings, read every document filed in court and has allowed them to hear every argument we have had relevant to our case since this battle started. She is angry they both are because "I am attacking their father" "And daddy would never lie". I explained to our daughter that I would not talk about our case with her because she is 14 and it is grossly inappropriate. She should be worrying about school not a court battle.*
I know I can file an injunction preventing the psychological abuse that is happening because of the neglect on his part by telling the girls things they should not know. But I dont know how.*
I know I can appeal because my argument was never heard again I dont know how. Do I have to inform the court that heard argument and him that I intend to appeal before I do.*
I want him held in contempt for perjury over the spring break lie.*
Hes alienating me from my kids and has been for 7 years knowingly and is now saying I deserve to have my rights to them revoked to them because of it. I want to petition the court for them to see a therapist qualified to diagnose PAS and again I dont know how.
He is narcissistic and a habitual liar, facts that are provable with a psychological exam but again I don't know how to make that an admissible fact and request it. He has my daughter lying to me now to keep him out of trouble. (She informed me when I asked her on the phone yesterday what she did over spring break that spring break was two weeks ago she knows dad told me and the judge that and that she babysat for dad and her step mom the entire break and that she hates being used as a babysitter).
If I appeal can I still have him charged for the contempt and perjury?
Can you please help I dont know what to do and I can not afford a lawyer. By legal standards I am indigent and when I contacted the pro bono affiliation in Indiana they told me they do not have the finances to help me.
Any therapist who is qualified to diagnose PAS or would diagnose PAS is someone your children should NEVER see. PAS is NOT credible and you really need to read the history of Gardner -- the pedophile supporter who developed it.*
OG response
As for him alienating the children? YOU did that by disappearing and limiting your visits. It is not his fault that for 10 years or so you did NOTHING about your visits. The fact that YOU only decided to do something because of child support says a lot about you.
Think about the fact that your children may resent you because of YOUR actions or inaction. Look in the mirror and then ask for reunification counseling.*
If you are really sober, you should know that making amends to those you hurt is important.
Me thinks she is not really sober and recovered. At least she hasn't completed recovery because she has NOT made amends to her children nor has she taken responsibility.