Joint custody-issues

[John1972]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Massachusetts


My husband and I divorced last year. We agreed on joint custody (legal and physical) we share the week with the kids.
In the divorce, I gave up pretty much everything. Since he makes substantially a lot more than me and the kids were used to the house we had, I signed the house over to him. Since that would be where the kids would be staying while they were with him.

Within 2 months of dating this girl, he moves in with her and moves our children and all of their belongings into her house without consulting me. I found out one day when I went to pick them up and he gave me the new address. He ALSO took them out of their schools and enrolled them into the school local to his girlfriends house without consulting me.
Ever since then, things have been going downhill.
He rarely communicates with me and puts his girlfriend before me constantly (regarding me as the children's mother)
I told him regarding healthcare, religion and schooling, that is up to US as the parents, not him and his girlfriend and not me with my boyfriend. WE are the parents.

A few things that have happened are:

My youngest was sick at school last week, I had no idea and wasn't contacted. Without contacting me, he had his
Girlfriend bring her and she was prescribed a medication, which his girlfriend approved my daughter to have.

He scheduled parent teacher conferences without talking to me and said him and his girlfriend were going to go.

My children have had multiple school events, doctors appointments and other things where he hasn't told me about them and his excuse is "why does it matter if we both trust each other when the kids are with either one of us?" I told him that's not the point, we need to inform each other of these things.


Since day one, I have been keeping the peace for the sake of the kids. But his girlfriend is now starting
To act nasty towards me when I drop off or pick up.

Regarding joint custody and the few things mentioned above, what are some of my rights? What are
My options here? I'm not comfortable with his girlfriend being a part of those
Things, I think they are the parents job.

 

[HighwayMan]

In the divorce, I gave up pretty much everything.

Sounds like someone didn't have an attorney.

 

[Zigner]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Massachusetts


My husband and I divorced last year. We agreed on joint custody (legal and physical) we share the week with the kids.
In the divorce, I gave up pretty much everything. Since he makes substantially a lot more than me and the kids were used to the house we had, I signed the house over to him. Since that would be where the kids would be staying while they were with him.

Within 2 months of dating this girl, he moves in with her and moves our children and all of their belongings into her house without consulting me. I found out one day when I went to pick them up and he gave me the new address. He ALSO took them out of their schools and enrolled them into the school local to his girlfriends house without consulting me.
Ever since then, things have been going downhill.
He rarely communicates with me and puts his girlfriend before me constantly (regarding me as the children's mother)
I told him regarding healthcare, religion and schooling, that is up to US as the parents, not him and his girlfriend and not me with my boyfriend. WE are the parents.

A few things that have happened are:

My youngest was sick at school last week, I had no idea and wasn't contacted. Without contacting me, he had his
Girlfriend bring her and she was prescribed a medication, which his girlfriend approved my daughter to have.

He scheduled parent teacher conferences without talking to me and said him and his girlfriend were going to go.

My children have had multiple school events, doctors appointments and other things where he hasn't told me about them and his excuse is "why does it matter if we both trust each other when the kids are with either one of us?" I told him that's not the point, we need to inform each other of these things.


Since day one, I have been keeping the peace for the sake of the kids. But his girlfriend is now starting
To act nasty towards me when I drop off or pick up.

Regarding joint custody and the few things mentioned above, what are some of my rights? What are
My options here? I'm not comfortable with his girlfriend being a part of those
Things, I think they are the parents job.

Have you discussed your concerns with the school in order to make sure they have your information on hand? Have you discussed your concerns with the teachers and ask if you can be included in communications? Does the school send out emails? If so, have you asked to be included on the email list(s)?

How is custody held? Do you have joint custody? Physical? Legal?

 

[John1972]

Have you discussed your concerns with the school in order to make sure they have your information on hand? Have you discussed your concerns with the teachers and ask if you can be included in communications? Does the school send out emails? If so, have you asked to be included on the email list(s)?

How is custody held? Do you have joint custody? Physical? Legal?

I ended up going to their schools after asking him which ones they were
(3 different schools)
I signed up for an app at one school to be
Updated, but when he has them, papers
Still go home with the child. And the other
2 kids don't have any app or online update.

We have joint physical and legal custody.
We "share everything down the middle"
Neither one of us pays child support to each other.

 

[John1972]

Sounds like someone didn't have an attorney.

You're right, I didn't. I regret it. I had NO money when I left him. I was the one at home with the kids
Raising them while he was making the money.
I regret no lawyer to this day, but I guess I can't do anything about it.

 

[CTU]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Massachusetts


My husband and I divorced last year. We agreed on joint custody (legal and physical) we share the week with the kids.
In the divorce, I gave up pretty much everything. Since he makes substantially a lot more than me and the kids were used to the house we had, I signed the house over to him. Since that would be where the kids would be staying while they were with him.

Within 2 months of dating this girl, he moves in with her and moves our children and all of their belongings into her house without consulting me. I found out one day when I went to pick them up and he gave me the new address. He ALSO took them out of their schools and enrolled them into the school local to his girlfriends house without consulting me.
Ever since then, things have been going downhill.
He rarely communicates with me and puts his girlfriend before me constantly (regarding me as the children's mother)
I told him regarding healthcare, religion and schooling, that is up to US as the parents, not him and his girlfriend and not me with my boyfriend. WE are the parents.

A few things that have happened are:

My youngest was sick at school last week, I had no idea and wasn't contacted. Without contacting me, he had his
Girlfriend bring her and she was prescribed a medication, which his girlfriend approved my daughter to have.

He scheduled parent teacher conferences without talking to me and said him and his girlfriend were going to go.

My children have had multiple school events, doctors appointments and other things where he hasn't told me about them and his excuse is "why does it matter if we both trust each other when the kids are with either one of us?" I told him that's not the point, we need to inform each other of these things.


Since day one, I have been keeping the peace for the sake of the kids. But his girlfriend is now starting
To act nasty towards me when I drop off or pick up.

Regarding joint custody and the few things mentioned above, what are some of my rights? What are
My options here? I'm not comfortable with his girlfriend being a part of those
Things, I think they are the parents job.

I guess I'm a little confused.

Why haven't you objected to him changing schools? If you have share custody each week, how do you not know what's going on with their health and education?

 

[CreatingMagic]

When you say you share the week, what is the shared schedule like?

How long have the children been in the new school?

Does dad have decision making for education?

Coming at this from a parent who shares custody, both parents should be involved and communicating with the school.

Ask that you receive all emails as well as the other parent.

Get the login information to the parent portals and online communication systems the teacher uses, if applicable.

Tell the teacher you want to be notified of teacher conferences, curriculum nights, class events.

Just because you didn't have a lawyer at the time doesn't mean issues can't be brought up with the court's IF they are in violation of the consent agreement you all signed.

 

[CreatingMagic]

Sorry just saw you had answered two of my questions.

If you share joint legal and he moved the schools without consulting you, you can take him to court for contempt. Do you live in the district the children were in while you were married?

Do you ever have the children on school nights?

As far as medical care, I believe dad can designate someone else to take the child to the doctor, just as a nanny could take the child to the doctor. Regarding the medicine, in guessing it was an antibiotic or antihistamine and her "consenting" to the medicine being given is really just her following doctors orders. Does your court order specify notifying about doctors appointments or medical care/illness/injury?

 

[Just Blue]

Sorry just saw you had answered two of my questions.

If you share joint legal and he moved the schools without consulting you, you can take him to court for contempt. Do you live in the district the children were in while you were married?

Do you ever have the children on school nights?

As far as medical care, I believe dad can designate someone else to take the child to the doctor, just as a nanny could take the child to the doctor. Regarding the medicine, in guessing it was an antibiotic or antihistamine and her "consenting" to the medicine being given is really just her following doctors orders. Does your court order specify notifying about doctors appointments or medical care/illness/injury?

CreatingMagic...Do you have any special skill in MA. Family Law?

 

[HRZ]

OP is the new location further away from you..how much ...and have your visitations been impacted ...how many nights a week do they sleep at your house ...

 

[stealth2]

I'm still trying to wrap my head around who John is and how he's involved...

 

[Ohiogal]

I'm still trying to wrap my head around who John is and how he's involved...

Got no clue.