Joint custody - mom doesn’t work, dad pays EVERYTHING

[lkkfit]

What is the name of your state?
Louisiana

As single WORKING mom of 2 who works A LOT, I’m looking more for answers and opinions than advice.
My fiancé has joint custody with his daughter’s (10 yr old) mother (they were never married). He pays a significant amount of child support, he also pays 100% of her private school tuition, clothes, food, extra expenses. Mom got married a few years ago and hasn’t worked since. She refuses to work and her husband doesn’t want her to, however her husband also doesn’t pay for anything for them, and he recently filed bankruptcy. He’s has told us that fiancé’s child support goes toward their car insurances (NOT what child supports for!! But we’ve had a good coparenting relationship with them so we pick our battles)
Now, daughter needs braces, but mom says she can’t pay anything at all toward it. I feel like fiancé is being taken advantage of. At what point is the mom responsible for financially contributing to THEIR child?! I have two kids from my previous marriage. I got a higher paying job after my divorce, bc I no longer had the luxury of NOT contributing, so to me it’s disgusting to see a mom refuse to work out of laziness and selfishness.

We want to go back to court after we get married, but fiancé also makes more now and we’re afraid instead of the court either giving them shared custody or pressuring mom to financially contribute herself, they’d just increase his child support.
What do we do? How is this fair? I’m tempted to become a stay at home mom, leave my career behind and tell my ex he’ll have to pay for 100% of everything too! But I’m not a piece of crap so...

 

[TheGeekess]

"WE" can't do anything. If your fiance is fine with his arrangements with the daughter's mother, then you need to accept that. If he is not fine with it, then it's up to him. But the court cannot force Mom to do squat, as long as the child is being supported (food, clothing, shelter). CS is to pay back the other parent for monies spent on the child(ren), and what the CS is used for is not anyone else's business.

 

[stealth2]

At the end of the day, CS goes into the "pool" of money available to the e household. SOMEone is paying for the roof over the kids' heads the clothes on their back, the food in their bellies.

So - what change of circumstance does your fiance feel he has to change his parenting time/custody?

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state?
Louisiana

As single WORKING mom of 2 who works A LOT, I’m looking more for answers and opinions than advice.
My fiancé has joint custody with his daughter’s (10 yr old) mother (they were never married). He pays a significant amount of child support, he also pays 100% of her private school tuition, clothes, food, extra expenses. Mom got married a few years ago and hasn’t worked since. She refuses to work and her husband doesn’t want her to, however her husband also doesn’t pay for anything for them, and he recently filed bankruptcy. He’s has told us that fiancé’s child support goes toward their car insurances (NOT what child supports for!! But we’ve had a good coparenting relationship with them so we pick our battles)
Now, daughter needs braces, but mom says she can’t pay anything at all toward it. I feel like fiancé is being taken advantage of. At what point is the mom responsible for financially contributing to THEIR child?! I have two kids from my previous marriage. I got a higher paying job after my divorce, bc I no longer had the luxury of NOT contributing, so to me it’s disgusting to see a mom refuse to work out of laziness and selfishness.

We want to go back to court after we get married, but fiancé also makes more now and we’re afraid instead of the court either giving them shared custody or pressuring mom to financially contribute herself, they’d just increase his child support.
What do we do? How is this fair? I’m tempted to become a stay at home mom, leave my career behind and tell my ex he’ll have to pay for 100% of everything too! But I’m not a piece of crap so...

https://forum.freeadvice.com/threads/newbies-please-read-before-posting.387214/

The custody/support issues of your boyfriend are really none of your legal concern. If his support obligation annoys you so much perhaps that's a sign you should move on and find a man with no children.

 

[adjusterjack]

If his support obligation annoys you so much perhaps that's a sigh you should move on and find a man with no children.

Agree.

Ikkfit, don't marry this guy. His financial issues with his ex aren't going to change. You're already distressed over how much money his spending there. Imagine how much worse it will be for you when he has no money left over to take care of you. The resentment will kill your new marriage within a year or two.

 

[Just Blue]

Agree.

Ikkfit, don't marry this guy. His financial issues with his ex aren't going to change. You're already distressed over how much money his spending there. Imagine how much worse it will be for you when he has no money left over to take care of you. The resentment will kill your new marriage within a year or two.

It is interesting to note that last December OP posted that she and her boyfriends ex were very friendly. They (OP, her BF, the BF's ex and the ex's current hubby) would go out together and have dinner. Apparently the ex wasn't a piece of crap then...