Joint Legal Custody & Descisons - Mostly religion!

[AmIUnreasonable]

What is the name of your state? Nevada

My ex and I have joint legal custody and joint physical custody. We agreed a long time ago (before we were divorced) that our girls were to be raised Chrisitan. They even attend a Private Chrisitan School. Recently she has started taking them to Catholic Church. (They are 5 and 7) Now I dont want to get into a religion talk but I do know there are differences in the religions and I do feel it could be confusing for them. I asked my ex about it and she just told me "tough, thats the way its going to be" no disscussion or anything. Should I just leave it alone?

 

[stealth2]

You do realize that Catholics are Christian, right?

A judge isn't going to get involved in this.

 

[AmIUnreasonable]

See now, I dont want to get into a dissusion about religion. I "Feel" there are many differences in the two religions. What I am talking about is, We have joint legal custody. That means we are to discuss this. Not just take them to a different church. I deserve to have it discussed with me!

 

[stealth2]

Again, a judge is not going to get involved with this. You are speaking of two Christian Churches (apparently, as I don't know what the other one is) and neither are involved in activities that would prove harmful to the children. You could take them to a synagogue or mosque, and a judge is not going to interfere with your right to expose your kids to your religion.

 

[AmIUnreasonable]

So tell me then, what exactly is the point of ordering people to discuss this issue if one decides, "tough" Look, I have already told my kids that if mommy says go, they go. They are to listen to there mommy no matter what. BUT, if she wont discuss this with me, then she wont discuss other things with me. If we cant get along, how are we suppossed to decide on where they go to school (regular) there extra curricular activites, etc..... How do I get us mediation without going into a court room? Just to have someone there to listen to us.

 

[stealth2]

You would likely have a legitimate gripe that a judge would address if she decided to have the children baptised/communed/confirmed w/o your consent. Simply attending services or Sunday school/CCD? Not gonna happen.

Children are actually extremely flexible. My ex & I had out children baptised in my Church, which dates back to the beginnings of Christianity and is extremely conservative. He is agnostic, but his current wife is Protestant. Our kids go to Church with them on his visitation weekends. God is God. He's in their Church as well as ours. My family had serious concerns that the kids would be attracted to their Church as it's less conservative/strict than ours (think longer services w/o pews). Hasn't happened. But they have developed an understanding that God is in many places, and people worship him differently.

Don't sweat the small stuff, dude.

 

[AmIUnreasonable]

I know you are right about it being "god is god" but its the principal. I feel like it is a control tactic that happens when I dont react to one thing its another. Like I said, I already told the kids, if mom says go then you go. I just would've liked to have been talked to about it. I am dad and I deserve to know this about my kids. But I will let it go!

 

[stealth2]

Think of it as a good jumping off point for discussions about religion with your kids. Not from a right/wrong perspective, but from a more philosophical one. It might come back to you in surprising ways.

While I'm pretty open to discussions regarding other faiths, if there's one thing I hate it's getting cornered by JW's or LDSers at home. This morning, we got snagged as we were doing yardwork. I was very polite, listened to them, discussed a few things, and then they went on their merry way. As I muttered under my breath about what a pain in the rear it was, my daughter said "But Mom... They may not believe the same things, and they may not worship God like we do, but there are a lot of people who don't know His word. If it makes people think about Him, it's a good thing that they're doing."

I learn a lot from my kids.

 

[HomeGuru]

What is the name of your state? Nevada
Should I just leave it alone?

**A: yes, and be thankful that there is God in your children's lives.

 

[frylover]

stealth2, that is really cool! You must be doing a great job with your kids!