Joint Legal Custody

[Ljnsy]

What is the name of your state? New Hampshire

I was informed by Casa (Thanks Casa) that Joint Legal Custody requires Mutual Consent. I informed my ex husband of this via email and here is a cut and paste of his reply. This can't be right....right?

"I consulted with my lawyer about my rights and she informed me that having joint custody gives me all the same rights you have. You cannot take away my rights because I make appointments without your consent. I have tried to include you but you seem to think that I have no say. My lawyer also informed me that I should try to include you in doctors appointmentsbut if you do not cooperate and I think it is in Zach's best interest or have concerns of his well being that I need no consent being his father."

 

[stepmom&mom]

It all depends on what your court order says. Some state that if the parents cannot agree about legal issues (like medical issues) then the final decision defaults to one of the parents. In other states, if the parents cannot agree, then it defaults to mediation.

 

[BL]

What is the name of your state? New Hampshire

I was informed by Casa (Thanks Casa) that Joint Legal Custody requires Mutual Consent. I informed my ex husband of this via email and here is a cut and paste of his reply. This can't be right....right?

"I consulted with my lawyer about my rights and she informed me that having joint custody gives me all the same rights you have. You cannot take away my rights because I make appointments without your consent. I have tried to include you but you seem to think that I have no say. My lawyer also informed me that I should try to include you in doctors appointmentsbut if you do not cooperate and I think it is in Zach's best interest or have concerns of his well being that I need no consent being his father."

Yep Joint means equal rights , However Any " Major " health issues need BOTH your co-operation and consent before treatment , unless of course it is an Emergency and the Dr's. make the decision.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? New Hampshire

I was informed by Casa (Thanks Casa) that Joint Legal Custody requires Mutual Consent. I informed my ex husband of this via email and here is a cut and paste of his reply. This can't be right....right?

"I consulted with my lawyer about my rights and she informed me that having joint custody gives me all the same rights you have. You cannot take away my rights because I make appointments without your consent. I have tried to include you but you seem to think that I have no say. My lawyer also informed me that I should try to include you in doctors appointmentsbut if you do not cooperate and I think it is in Zach's best interest or have concerns of his well being that I need no consent being his father."

I went back and reveiwed your previous threads. I suspect that if dad talked to his attorney at all, that dad put a certain kind of "spin" on things to get that answer. Obviously dad didn't try to include you in the counseling or in the attempt to have your son diagnosed ADHD. That response almost sounds more like something inspired by his girlfriend rather than his attorney.

I suggest that you consider taking your issues to court. Despite the things that you were told before, I do believe that you have enough that a judge might (not guaranteed, but might) bar the girlfriend from being present during visitation. I also think that dad needs a little lecture from the judge on the meaning of "joint legal custody".

While I agree that its nots ABSOLUTELY necessary for either of you to have the permission of the other for necessary medical treatment.....I do agree that actively trying to get the child diagnosed as ADHD, when its not being suggested by the child's school or any of the professional's involved in the child's life, DOES require the mutual consent of both parents.

However....based on everything that is going on I really do think that counseling would be helpful for your son. Not because I think that he is ADHD, but because of the girlfriend and the drama and hysterics that he is exposed to as a result of her actions (and dad's too quite frankly). A counselor can help him find ways to cope with that stress....and could be a valuable witness in court if needed.

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? New Hampshire

I was informed by Casa (Thanks Casa) that Joint Legal Custody requires Mutual Consent. I informed my ex husband of this via email and here is a cut and paste of his reply. This can't be right....right?

"I consulted with my lawyer about my rights and she informed me that having joint custody gives me all the same rights you have. You cannot take away my rights because I make appointments without your consent. I have tried to include you but you seem to think that I have no say. My lawyer also informed me that I should try to include you in doctors appointmentsbut if you do not cooperate and I think it is in Zach's best interest or have concerns of his well being that I need no consent being his father."

If your child is ill...yes Dad can take him to the Dr. without getting your consent- However any major medical, education decision, legal or psychological treatment requires mutual consent. I believe something as major as a diagnosis of a disorder and medicinal treatment for it- is considered "Major". Therapy definately requires mutual consent. No attorney in his right mind would tell a client to take a child to therapy without mutual consent when there is a court order for joint legal custody. I agree with LdiJ- he's either lying or he has misrepresented the situation to his attorney.

 

[Ljnsy]

Thanks stepmom&mom.

It all depends on what your court order says. Some state that if the parents cannot agree about legal issues (like medical issues) then the final decision defaults to one of the parents. In other states, if the parents cannot agree, then it defaults to mediation.

The court order simply states that I am the custodial parent and we have joint legal custody.

 

[Ljnsy]

I went back and reveiwed your previous threads. I suspect that if dad talked to his attorney at all, that dad put a certain kind of "spin" on things to get that answer. Obviously dad didn't try to include you in the counseling or in the attempt to have your son diagnosed ADHD. That response almost sounds more like something inspired by his girlfriend rather than his attorney.

I suggest that you consider taking your issues to court. Despite the things that you were told before, I do believe that you have enough that a judge might (not guaranteed, but might) bar the girlfriend from being present during visitation. I also think that dad needs a little lecture from the judge on the meaning of "joint legal custody".

While I agree that its nots ABSOLUTELY necessary for either of you to have the permission of the other for necessary medical treatment.....I do agree that actively trying to get the child diagnosed as ADHD, when its not being suggested by the child's school or any of the professional's involved in the child's life, DOES require the mutual consent of both parents.

However....based on everything that is going on I really do think that counseling would be helpful for your son. Not because I think that he is ADHD, but because of the girlfriend and the drama and hysterics that he is exposed to as a result of her actions (and dad's too quite frankly). A counselor can help him find ways to cope with that stress....and could be a valuable witness in court if needed.

Thanks Ldij.
He and his girlfriend do tend to twist things to appear in their favor. When they took him to the coucelor, they left out A LOT of stuff. While I was on the phone with him (the councelor) I asked Did they tell you this? Did they tell you that? He was continually saying "Oh my god!" through the entire conversation.

Since I have been in touch with that particular councelor (who said it would be a good idea for my ex husband, my son, and me and excluding the girlfriend to get together with him, to which I agreed to) it has apparently been decided by my ex or should I say his girlfriend, that that particular counclor is out of the loop. Imagine that.

 

[Ljnsy]

If your child is ill...yes Dad can take him to the Dr. without getting your consent- However any major medical, education decision, legal or psychological treatment requires mutual consent. I believe something as major as a diagnosis of a disorder and medicinal treatment for it- is considered "Major". Therapy definately requires mutual consent. No attorney in his right mind would tell a client to take a child to therapy without mutual consent when there is a court order for joint legal custody. I agree with LdiJ- he's either lying or he has misrepresented the situation to his attorney.

Casa,
I told my ex that he could take him to the doctor for emergencies but anything else had to be mutually agreed upon and that the same goes for me. I also told him that if it happens again, I will take him to court for contempt.

 

[dallas702]

Amost all custody arrangements are "joint legal", but "Primary Physical" bestows numerous rights to the primary custodian and removes those rights from the NCP (residence, school, daily schedule, most medical/dental visits, and much more). If you are designated PC and your ex "visits" (I hate that term), you have almost complete control over your child's daily routine and needs.