joint legal custody

[rudolph t hunter]

i live in virginia. my ex and I have joint legal custody
of our two children. my ex refuses to contact me when the
children are sick or let me know of their medical appoint-
ments. she also will not give me the name and address of my
childs day care provider. one of my children is very sickly
my ex says she will only let me know of her medical appoint-
ments if there is a life threatening situation. can I legally make her keep me informed of all the childrens
medical appointments. please advise.

 

[MySonsMom]

In all honestly I don't think it is neccesary to contact you for every medical appointment...When it is serious, yes. But what it comes down to is that if the child are with the Mother at the time of the illness or whatever, then she takes care of it. If you are with the children when there is an illness, you take care of it. Converse with each other the OUTCOME...When 2 parents split, it is highly unlikely that the 2 will behave like parents whom are still together. That is just reality of not being with the children's other parent. Joint custody means that you can have access to all medical, dental, school records without seeking the custodial parents permission for such records. It also means that you should have *say* in major circumstances regarding the children, but of course the final say is up to the custodial parent. So to answer your question, I don't think she is obligated in any way to inform you of medical appointments but she should tell you the outcome. And if your relationship isn't as such, you can access the medical records yourself. If I were you, I would limit your demands on the medical appts, and focus on encouraging a relationship with the Mother in communicating the OUTCOME of the medical appt.

As far as child care, I don't believe she is obligated to inform you of where the children are. That is if the children are there strictly on HER time. I question why she won't allow you this info..Is there something you have left out?

To sum it up, your demands on wanting to know every medical appt. seem a bit extreme. I would focus on pursuing a relationship with her that entails communicating the outcome of appts...Less threatening and more realistic. Good luck!