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Judge says we need to stop coming back to court but then waives modification fee ???

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3junebugs

Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

Court yesterday was frustrating to say the least. On one hand the judged told us both we needed to stop using the courts everytime we dont' agree on something, but then on the other hand waives the modification fee for NCP to remove the restrictions against my son having contact with three cousins on dad's side who were sexually abusive. I was floored. I do not understand why a judge would do that. I had two letters from his therapist and psychiatrist that explained why they felt my son should still have no contact and not only didn't she find NCP in contempt for the contact, (he admitted to it) but she waives the fee. He admitted to it in March also, and (same judge) explained the steps he needed to take if he wanted petition the court to remove the restrictions. He did again in July and August. I file contempt again. And what happens? He gets the message that he can basically do it again and again becaue he won't ever get introuble AND the court will pay to allow him to petiton to get the restrictions removed.

I have lost all faith in the court system. If I decided not to send my son, I would be hauled in and loose custody. He can expose my son to deviant people and they give him the opportunity to void those orders. I am flabergasted.

Not only that - because he got his license suspended *for not appearing at a hearing - I have to do most of the driving until he can reinstate his license in Aug 2012. I get punished because he lost his license? If I lost my license and couldn't transport my son, what would happen? I would be hauled into court and would loose custody.

I do not understand why he is allowed so many accomdations. He shows up late for court, the judge waits. He make an excuse and even lies and said that with him doing transportation caused him to loose his job. I PROVE that he was recieving unemployment (via child support disbursements) BEFORE he claims he lost his job and the judge didn't care. He lied about other communications. I bring the actual text and emails and she says she doesn't need to see them. He lied about how much bus transportation would cost. I disprove that too, didn't matter.

But I get bashed becasue I expect to get my son back on time. I get bashed because I expect his father not to be able to jerk me around when he knows his son has a long 3 hour drive back home. I get bashed for bringing him back to court so much, but doesn't take the time to see WHY and then gives him the opportunity to file to have stay away orders vacated. And I guarantee he will continue to make my son available late. Keep him extra days on a whim and continue to be difficult. Because he has no consequences.

My jurisdiction hearing is now set for Feb. 9 but it's listed in front of a judge that will end up having to recuse herself because she represented against my son's father when she was a lawyer. So it will be pushed off to a judge, and just my luck the same one, that doesn't want to be bothered and will feel like it was dumped on.

It's almost as if that's what the court wants me to do. They want me to get fed up and say f' it. I just will not come back. But then what will happen? I will get hauled in and loose custody.
 


mistoffolees

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

Court yesterday was frustrating to say the least. On one hand the judged told us both we needed to stop using the courts everytime we dont' agree on something, but then on the other hand waives the modification fee for NCP to remove the restrictions against my son having contact with three cousins on dad's side who were sexually abusive. I was floored. I do not understand why a judge would do that. I had two letters from his therapist and psychiatrist that explained why they felt my son should still have no contact and not only didn't she find NCP in contempt for the contact, (he admitted to it) but she waives the fee. He admitted to it in March also, and (same judge) explained the steps he needed to take if he wanted petition the court to remove the restrictions. He did again in July and August. I file contempt again. And what happens? He gets the message that he can basically do it again and again becaue he won't ever get introuble AND the court will pay to allow him to petiton to get the restrictions removed.

I have lost all faith in the court system. If I decided not to send my son, I would be hauled in and loose custody. He can expose my son to deviant people and they give him the opportunity to void those orders. I am flabergasted.

Not only that - because he got his license suspended *for not appearing at a hearing - I have to do most of the driving until he can reinstate his license in Aug 2012. I get punished because he lost his license? If I lost my license and couldn't transport my son, what would happen? I would be hauled into court and would loose custody.

I do not understand why he is allowed so many accomdations. He shows up late for court, the judge waits. He make an excuse and even lies and said that with him doing transportation caused him to loose his job. I PROVE that he was recieving unemployment (via child support disbursements) BEFORE he claims he lost his job and the judge didn't care. He lied about other communications. I bring the actual text and emails and she says she doesn't need to see them. He lied about how much bus transportation would cost. I disprove that too, didn't matter.

But I get bashed becasue I expect to get my son back on time. I get bashed because I expect his father not to be able to jerk me around when he knows his son has a long 3 hour drive back home. I get bashed for bringing him back to court so much, but doesn't take the time to see WHY and then gives him the opportunity to file to have stay away orders vacated. And I guarantee he will continue to make my son available late. Keep him extra days on a whim and continue to be difficult. Because he has no consequences.

My jurisdiction hearing is now set for Feb. 9 but it's listed in front of a judge that will end up having to recuse herself because she represented against my son's father when she was a lawyer. So it will be pushed off to a judge, and just my luck the same one, that doesn't want to be bothered and will feel like it was dumped on.

It's almost as if that's what the court wants me to do. They want me to get fed up and say f' it. I just will not come back. But then what will happen? I will get hauled in and loose custody.
Well, you have to understand that the court doesn't care one way or the other. Why in the world would they have a bias in any given matter?

Your ex apparently managed to show a preponderance of evidence compared to what you provided. Particularly since the letters you brought in from your son's therapist and psychiatrist were probably not admissible (or given very, very low weight even if they were admitted).

Next time, hire an attorney who understands how to present a case.
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
Well, you have to understand that the court doesn't care one way or the other. Why in the world would they have a bias in any given matter?

Your ex apparently managed to show a preponderance of evidence compared to what you provided. Particularly since the letters you brought in from your son's therapist and psychiatrist were probably not admissible (or given very, very low weight even if they were admitted).

Next time, hire an attorney who understands how to present a case.
Letters aren't impressive, and you can't cross-examine them. You needed those people to show up and testify.

I'm sorry to hear it went badly for you.
 

3junebugs

Member
Well, you have to understand that the court doesn't care one way or the other. Why in the world would they have a bias in any given matter?

Your ex apparently managed to show a preponderance of evidence compared to what you provided. Particularly since the letters you brought in from your son's therapist and psychiatrist were probably not admissible (or given very, very low weight even if they were admitted).

Next time, hire an attorney who understands how to present a case.
NCP provided no physical evidence. Just his testimony.

Letters aren't impressive, and you can't cross-examine them. You needed those people to show up and testify.

I'm sorry to hear it went badly for you.
If and when he files for the modification, they will be brought in to testify.

However I just realized why this judge waived the fee to give him incentive to file. So that when I do have my jurisdiction hearing, there can be something pending.
 

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