Judge seems dirty, please help!

[moldableman]

The court order is in Alabama

We went to court over my stepdaughter's father. He made false allegations against me to DHS, and while my stepdaughter was being questioned, she spilled the beans about abuse that was occurring when she was on visitation. When we went to trial, there were psychology reports and the social worker actually showed up to testify against her father, and the judge wouldn't admit any of it as evidence. Our little girl is still going down for visitation and coming back with emotional and behavioral problems. Now the father is using his legal custody to interfere with her going to a psychologist to try to work through some of her issues. He also harasses my wife and tries to control every interaction with no regard to the child's well being. How do we combat this? Please give advice that is unbiased and unopinionated. We only want facts. Thanks!

 

[LdiJ]

We went to court over my stepdaughter's father. He made false allegations against me to DHS, and while my stepdaughter was being questioned, she spilled the beans about abuse that was occurring when she was on visitation. When we went to trial, there were psychology reports and the social worker actually showed up to testify against her father, and the judge wouldn't admit any of it as evidence. Our little girl is still going down for visitation and coming back with emotional and behavioral problems. Now the father is using his legal custody to interfere with her going to a psychologist to try to work through some of her issues. He also harasses my wife and tries to control every interaction with no regard to the child's well being. How do we combat this? Please give advice that is unbiased and unopinionated. We only want facts. Thanks!

How long ago did that hearing take place? The judge refused to allow the social worker to testify? Did your wife have an attorney? Was an appeal discussed with her attorney?

Please watch saying things like "our little girl", because she isn't your daughter and a stepparent using "we" and "our" tends to upset judges and other court professionals.

 

[mommyof4]

Our little girl is still going down for visitation and coming back with emotional and behavioral problems.

So, you and your wife are forced to let her child AND y'all's child (that would be 2 children) visit with the father of your wife's child?

Just a hint......

 

[JKBee]

Are you still in the time frame to ask your lawyer to appeal to a higher court? That should have been done immediately! Just because one judge says something, you can have your lawyer appeal this decision. But it does have to be done in a certain time frame, as I understand it.

 

[moldableman]

So, you and your wife are forced to let her child AND y'all's child (that would be 2 children) visit with the father of your wife's child?

Just a hint......

It amazes me that people say these things. After countless discussions with my stepdaughter, you go ask her who she wants to call daddy. In this household, I am daddy. We are all fully aware of the biological divisions, but honestly, we don't give a crap. She gets locked in the dark and such when she is with her father. He has given her alcohol...she is 8 now, but was 5 at the incident. I know all the rules about biological and step parents. Answer me this then.. why am I the one providing medical insurance, money for extra curricular activities, daycare, and the list goes on and on, but no one wants to look at that. All people see is that we arent genetically linked. IF that were the case, we sould all be in hell after this life because even Jesus Christ operates out of adoption and acceptance... please get off of the bio/step discussion. We are simply trying to protect a little girl...genetically related or not.

 

[moldableman]

How long ago did that hearing take place? The judge refused to allow the social worker to testify? Did your wife have an attorney? Was an appeal discussed with her attorney?

Please watch saying things like "our little girl", because she isn't your daughter and a stepparent using "we" and "our" tends to upset judges and other court professionals.

Did have an attorney. Did not even mention an appeal. The judge would not hear the evidence, so it is able to be admitted as evidence again? The judge also said that the social worker's testimony was hearsay because she didn't actually witness the abuse...even though this was the same social worker that her father took her to while making false allegations against me.. Now her father has this sense of entitlement and treats my wife like crap. I want to beat the snot out of him, back into him, and out again, but I fear it will further damage an already depressing situation.

 

[Antigone*]

Are you still in the time frame to ask your lawyer to appeal to a higher court? That should have been done immediately! Just because one judge says something, you can have your lawyer appeal this decision. But it does have to be done in a certain time frame, as I understand it.

You have to understand things if you are going to be posting in threads. This man has no right to appeal anything.

He is not daddy and will not ever be recognized as daddy no matter how much his heart tells him so.

So, please post only relevant legal information so that people who don't have any legal say get misinformation.

 

[LdiJ]

Did have an attorney. Did not even mention an appeal. The judge would not hear the evidence, so it is able to be admitted as evidence again? The judge also said that the social worker's testimony was hearsay because she didn't actually witness the abuse...even though this was the same social worker that her father took her to while making false allegations against me.. Now her father has this sense of entitlement and treats my wife like crap. I want to beat the snot out of him, back into him, and out again, but I fear it will further damage an already depressing situation.

Again, how long ago did the hearing take place?

 

[moldableman]

You have to understand things if you are going to be posting in threads. This man has no right to appeal anything.

He is not daddy and will not ever be recognized as daddy no matter how much his heart tells him so.

So, please post only relevant legal information so that people who don't have any legal say get misinformation.

You need to understand that I am not only a stepparent, but a husband, and my wife and I are on the same page. I think that people like you should understand that my wife got remarried. That means that I am her REAL husband. I am entitled to collect as much information as I can to help her as I stinking want to. I also have a major in counseling and I gather that you have probably had to share your kids with a stepparent. I am not saying this for sure, but your matter of factness tends to say that. We have rights as husbands and wives to help our spouses and help these children get protected. If I found out that you were abusing your child, I'd advocate for them as well..

 

[moldableman]

Again, how long ago did the hearing take place?

Two years ago

 

[Antigone*]

You need to understand that I am not only a stepparent, but a husband, and my wife and I are on the same page. I think that people like you should understand that my wife got remarried. That means that I am her REAL husband. I am entitled to collect as much information as I can to help her as I stinking want to. I also have a major in counseling and I gather that you have probably had to share your kids with a stepparent. I am not saying this for sure, but your matter of factness tends to say that. We have rights as husbands and wives to help our spouses and help these children get protected. If I found out that you were abusing your child, I'd advocate for them as well..

I want you to know that I do understand, and I am a stepparent and a parent. I was admonishing the other poster because he was telling you to appeal.

In the eyes of the law, I have just as much right to your wife's children as you do. You want to make sure that you don't overstep and that you know your place when it comes to these proceedings. Nothing angers a judge more than an overstepping step parent.

My matter of factness is so because you are dealing with legal issues. You need to be able to remove the emotion from these issues in order to be effective.

I agree that you need to be protective of the children in your care and there are ways for your wife to do that, but you must rememeber your place. Your place when it comes to these matters is in the hallway of the court room praying that your wife and her attorney have strength and that the judge does right by all involved.,

 

[LdiJ]

Two years ago

Ok,then we wasted a lot of time talking about appeals on this thread.

If there is ongoing abuse in dad's home, then the only option is to report the abuse to CPS.

If the child truly needs counseling, and dad will not cooperate with that, then the only option is to take the matter to court and let the judge decide whether or not the child will get counseling.

 

[moldableman]

I want you to know that I do understand, and I am a stepparent and a parent. I was admonishing the other poster because he was telling you to appeal.

In the eyes of the law, I have just as much right to your wife's children as you do. You want to make sure that you don't overstep and that you know your place when it comes to these proceedings. Nothing angers a judge more than an overstepping step parent.

My matter of factness is so because you are dealing with legal issues. You need to be able to remove the emotion from these issues in order to be effective.

I agree that you need to be protective of the children in your care and there are ways for your wife to do that, but you must rememeber your place. Your place when it comes to these matters is in the hallway of the court room praying that your wife and her attorney have strength and that the judge does right by all involved.,

I understand. It is quite difficult to unplug from the situation. The father seems to be obsessed with the relationship that my stepdaughter and I have. It didn't help him any to absent for the first four or five years of her life. I have been there since she was one...so you can see how this is all very emotional.. If things really were in the best interest of the child, then many more stepparents would be validated. It is a matter of fact that many a step parent are loved more than bio parents... That is what "should" be looked at. It's sad that a man can be an alcoholic deadbeat abuser and still have rights because of a genetic link... God help us..

 

[Isis1]

It amazes me that people say these things. After countless discussions with my stepdaughter, you go ask her who she wants to call daddy. In this household, I am daddy. We are all fully aware of the biological divisions, but honestly, we don't give a crap. She gets locked in the dark and such when she is with her father. He has given her alcohol...she is 8 now, but was 5 at the incident. I know all the rules about biological and step parents. Answer me this then.. why am I the one providing medical insurance, money for extra curricular activities, daycare, and the list goes on and on, but no one wants to look at that. All people see is that we arent genetically linked. IF that were the case, we sould all be in hell after this life because even Jesus Christ operates out of adoption and acceptance... please get off of the bio/step discussion. We are simply trying to protect a little girl...genetically related or not.

you are not legally required to provide for the child. ever. mom and dad are. now, you chose to provide bonus tips for your wife for sharing a bed and providing benefits...then that's a non-legal agreement between you and her.

separation of church and state.

 

[TheGeekess]

Are you still in the time frame to ask your lawyer to appeal to a higher court? That should have been done immediately! Just because one judge says something, you can have your lawyer appeal this decision. But it does have to be done in a certain time frame, as I understand it.

You can't appeal because you don't like the court order.