Here is a link that explains some of the options. Changing Court Orders or Judgments
www.divorcenet.com/states/new_york/nyart25
Please understand that when it says that if a plaintiff doesn't appear for the trial that the judge CAN dismiss the case, that doesn't mean that they MUST dismiss the case. The problem is getting to the place where you can either dismiss the divorce action leaving him to start all over since you don't have a separation agreement. Since you didn't file on grounds of Adultery, you might be able to refile for a legal separation with grounds of mental cruelty since his actions were predicated by the diagnosis of your illness which should entitle you to spousal support in addition to child support. The problem with your first attorney could be argued as you were impaired due to the illness and thus may not have made informed decisions, also the Diagnosis was failry new and you were still learning about it yourself and had no support network. If you can't get the divorce dismissed, see if you can talk him into reconcilliation or mediation to get it off the judges calander, you can ask your neurologist to write a letter requesting continuances due to your health and you may petition the court for ADA accommodaitons which can include more itme to make decisions, to read.write answers so you have time to work through the congitive fog that accompanies MS.
IF the judge actually
in court, on a transcript stated that if you went to trial that you would get less and you would have to pay your husband's attorney's fees, you have a base to challenge the judge on bias.
Not likely.
ALso making you wait in the hall while your attorney is in chambers with the judge and opposing counsel, without providing you with appropriate accommodations could be seen as a violation of your civil rights. SO you may have cause to challenge the judge.
http://www.courts.state.ny.us/accessibility/index.shtml
Hell the judge made me wait in the hallway 3 hours and let my ex-wife have the courtroom all to herself with her friends and there was a big party in there.
I didn't even have a coffee machine to get coffee!
Call your local chapter of the MS society and contact other members who went through a divorce after their diagnosis, specifically look for ones with cases in the same jurisdiction, same judges, there may be a trend of bias. You may also know that a diagnosis of ME frequently leads to divorce if only to get out of paying for the medications.
If it were me, I would go to trial, but only if I had nothing that could be used against me besides the MS. Then I would play up the point that after all these years together and you helping him with his schooling, growing your business/practice, raising his children and after promising to love through sickness and health, that when you you are diagnosed with a major medical condition, that he runs back to an old girlfriend and then to an employee? THere is a lot available re sexual misconduct among professionals and such behavior puts his license at risk and it doesn't have to actually include intercourse, even your abandonment could be seen as domestic violence since you are disabled and since you haven't worked because he wanted you to be a stay at home mom, you don't qualify for Social Security Disability, that should entitle you to your share of the family business, 401K etc . You didn't bring any charge YET that would adversely affect his license even thought his conduct could demand such.
You may find somehting that will help here.
http://www.op.nysed.gov/part29.htm
General Requirements
The practice of dentistry or use of the title "dentist" within New York State requires licensure.
To be licensed as a dentist in New York State initially or through endorsement you must:
*
be of good moral character;
* be at least 21 years of age;
* meet education requirements;
* meet examination requirements;
* meet experience requirements;
* be a United States citizen or an alien lawfully admitted for permanent residence in the United States (Alien Registration Card/USCIS I-551 Status/"Green Card"); and
* complete coursework or training in the identification and reporting of child abuse offered by a New York State approved provider.
