Just starting to find out info - will you please help?

[genalewis]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana

I will be perfectly honest, I know nothing about adoption. I have always heard it can take forever and be very financially draining, but that is all second-hand information. I cannot have a child of my own, so I have been giving adoption some thought. I am not 100% sure that it is right for my husband and me, but I was hoping someone could kind of fill me in on the process and requirements before I go any further with it.

I know that there are confidential and open adoptions, so I'm interested to hear from anyone who can fully explain the difference or who has any experience with either. This is my first stop to find out more information, so thanks for your help.

 

[Isis1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana

I will be perfectly honest, I know nothing about adoption. I have always heard it can take forever and be very financially draining, but that is all second-hand information. I cannot have a child of my own, so I have been giving adoption some thought. I am not 100% sure that it is right for my husband and me, but I was hoping someone could kind of fill me in on the process and requirements before I go any further with it.

I know that there are confidential and open adoptions, so I'm interested to hear from anyone who can fully explain the difference or who has any experience with either. This is my first stop to find out more information, so thanks for your help.

first advice. don't do this without an attorney.

i believe there are a few adoptive parents in this board that could give a wealth of information, so definitely stick around.

 

[nextwife]

If you adopt an already born child from an orphanage internationally, or a child already legally availailable through domestic foster care, you can often get a referral much more quickly. We adopted our beautiful (now 12) year old daughter at age 2 from an orphanage in eastern Europe, and recieved her as a referral very quickly, although it then took 10 months to complete the process and bring her home to us. She was 15 months when we started. It's a few more hoops to jump through, but much more of a sure thing. Plus, it is heartbreaking to think of all those children growing up never knowing family and parental love at all. It's a win-win to get as many of those kiddos as possible OUT of those institutions! You get to be a parent to child who needs you, and they get to know love for the first time in their lives. And a life is not wasted rotting away in an institution.

Research programs online. Learn about them, correspond with past adoptors. Learn what works. You need to pick a country or program and THEN pick the best agency options for the program you wish to use.

 

[momofrose]

Congratulations on your decision to adopt. I am an adoptive mom to a beautiful 4 year old boy.

An open adoption is one whereby you and the possible birthmom meet before the birth. After the birth, the situations can range from visits from the birthmom to simply emails and/or pics. We wanted and open adoption so that our son would not have a "void" in his life when he understood the concept of adoption. However - this did not pan out - the birthmom "vanished" after 6 months after the birth of our son. Her email's shut down, she moved - etc. I am praying she comes back in the picture, but am not hopeful

A confidential adoption is a CLOSED adoption whereby there is no info available to either party. This is how most (if not all) adoption were handled 10 years ago and prior.

You are correct that adopting an infant domestically is VERY expensive, as well you may go through some failed situations (as most do) - you may also loose some money in those failed adoptions.

It took us two years (start to finish) to be matched with a birthmom - but it was WELL worth it.

There is a wonderful book called "adoption for dummies" - I highly suggest you start there.

Nextwife if correct - there are thousands of children in the foster care program that are much easier to adopt and it does not cost much at all. As a matter of fact if you go through the foster to adopt program, in many instances, the state gives you money per month to take care of that child.

So much depends on you wants and needs regarding adoption.

If you would like to pm me - I would be happy to give you the name of our adoption attorney - he is and was wonderful!

Good luck in your journey