Kansas-Wife lied about $80,000 debt from insurance companies after totalling my vehicle 3 years ago. What are my rights?

[jjay11]

We live in Kansas. My wife totaled my vehicle in 2015. She was found at fault. She told me at the time that we got lucky and the insurance barely covered the all the expenses. Recently she came clean and told me that she lied about the insurance companies covering the damages. It turns out that she still owes 80,000 dollars to various insurance companies.
It gets Worse though. The only reason she told me this in the first place was because I caught her cheating on me and demanded she come clean about everything. Is this grounds enough for divorce? Can I use this as leverage to get custody of my son?

 

[adjusterjack]

Is this grounds enough for divorce?

You don't need grounds. Anybody can get a divorce just for the asking.

Can I use this as leverage to get custody of my son?

Probably not. The bar is set pretty low for motherhood and in this country the woman is favored for custody and the man pays child support. I don't imagine that those traditions changed any in the corn belt.

 

[jjay11]

Even though I had no prior knowledge of the debt? And had no intentions of divorce until she told me about the debt?

 

[Just Blue]

You don't need grounds. Anybody can get a divorce just for the asking.



Probably not. The bar is set pretty low for motherhood and in this country the woman is favored for custody and the man pays child support. I don't imagine that those traditions changed any in the corn belt.

Jack the "bar" is set pretty low for PARENTS. And the primary care giver whether Mom or Dad is likely to get primary custody with the NCP likely paying support.

jjay...The word "leverage" should never be in the same sentence as "child".

 

[jjay11]

Thank you for the advice. I'm no lawyer so I apologize for my choice of words. Not what I meant at all.
I take my son to school and pick him up every day. I am currently a student, but I use the Post 911 GI bill which pays for all of our bills. She has never had a drivers license, including when she wrecked my vehicle, and can not get one because of the accident. She only recently began making 50% of my monthly income, not our total monthly income. Years prior she contributed much less than that. She would be unable to provide transportation for my son to and from school. As well as unable to provide for him financially without a lot of assistance.

Edit: She would also have to move 3 hours away to live with family if we separated.

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you for the advice. I'm no lawyer so I apologize for my choice of words. Not what I meant at all.
I take my son to school and pick him up every day. I am currently a student, but I use the Post 911 GI bill which pays for all of our bills. She has never had a drivers license, including when she wrecked my vehicle, and can not get one because of the accident. She only recently began making 50% of my monthly income, not our total monthly income. Years prior she contributed much less than that. She would be unable to provide transportation for my son to and from school. As well as unable to provide for him financially without a lot of assistance.

Edit: She would also have to move 3 hours away to live with family if we separated.

You have to understand that none of the things that she has done have anything to do with leverage for a divorce (you don't need leverage to get a divorce) and have nothing to do with custody. Some of them would have a lot to do with the marital financial settlement, but not custody.

Generally, custody is going to be shared in some manner. Joint legal custody (joint decision making) is very much the norm, and then some kind of parenting timeshare. Generally, the parent who has been the primary caretaker (not financial provider) ends up with primary physical custody.

Now, if she would really move three hours away if you divorced, that would be a factor in your favor for primary custody.

 

[HRZ]

THree separate issues :
1. You have a right to seek a divorce , need not provide cause.
2. Hopefully what is best for the child is a major factor in custody and your post suggests you have good points on your side of equation for custody ...I strongly suggest you use counsel to advocate your side . Strong suggestion!
3. Take great care that her debt does not show up on your plate as your debt

 

[TigerD]

You absolutely need to talk to a divorce attorney with your questions. You need to provide a fuller disclosure to get better answers (Please don't do that here). Don't let them kid you, leverage is important. But using it and discussing it is for your attorney. There is nothing unethical about finding and using leverage the correct way. Your goal is custody of your child. Prepare like a battle and leverage your opponents weaknesses. Just remember that you will be tied to her through your son for the rest of your life. You may not burn the buildings and salt the earth.

TD

 

[stealth2]

3. Take great care that her debt does not show up on your plate as your debt

*cough* marital debt *cough*

jjay - how did she come to be driving your car if she had no license? Just curious.

Custody issues... transportation to school may not be that big a deal - are there no school buses? How long until you finish school? How will your son get to school then? Will you be able to find adequate employment locally?

 

[HRZ]

You need counsel sooner rather than later.

IF she racked up debt in secret and kept it secret for a long time it might NOT be community debt in KS

IF you think she is likely to move three hours away you want to be way ahead of her curve to seek custody with you if you can support that is in best interests of children ...and worst case, if she moves you have liberal visitation and every dime of costs and time to implement same is on her platter

Just what does transportation to and from school have to do with anything?
Not everybody loves the local school bus but they are generally quite reliable .

 

[Zigner]

You need counsel sooner rather than later.

Agreed

IF she racked up debt in secret and kept it secret for a long time it might NOT be community debt in KS

Why the equivocation? Why do you believe there is even such a beast as "community debt" in KS?

 

[not2cleverRed]

You need counsel sooner rather than later.

IF she racked up debt in secret and kept it secret for a long time it might NOT be community debt in KS

IF you think she is likely to move three hours away you want to be way ahead of her curve to seek custody with you if you can support that is in best interests of children ...and worst case, if she moves you have liberal visitation and every dime of costs and time to implement same is on her platter

Just what does transportation to and from school have to do with anything?
Not everybody loves the local school bus but they are generally quite reliable .

Hunh? Kansas is an equitable distribution, not community property state.

However, in any case, this sounds like marital debt, not separate debt. The car was his, she was driving it without a license and un/underisured.

 

[HRZ]

At least as posted she racked up a big debt on her own and actively kept it hidden ...it might not be equitable to visit hubby with her secret debt ....sorry if I confused equity with community ....

Hubby does not get the bright light award for allowing an unlicensed driver to operate his car, if that is what happened . HUbby needs to hire counsel !!!

 

[Just Blue]

At least as posted she racked up a big debt on her own and actively kept it hidden ...it might not be equitable to visit hubby with her secret debt ....sorry if I confused equity with community ....

Hubby does not get the bright light award for allowing an unlicensed driver to operate his car, if that is what happened . HUbby needs to hire counsel !!!

If hubby allowed his unlicensed wife access to the car then he is responsible for the debt as well. It's curious to me how all this could have happened without his knowledge.

 

[HRZ]

Her use of the car might not be "secret" but whether hubby can be held responsible for her debt is a different question ....and for $80k I'd sure want KS counsel on my side . It's not at all clear that he acquiesced to the improper use of his car.