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Kicked out at 17 in Kansas and doesn't want to return home bc of abuse please help

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kyliev

Member
What is the name of your state? Kansas
...
My mom kicked me out less than a month after i turned 17. that was about a month and a half ago. I am hesitant to bring in law enforcement because the home life situation was abusive and neglectful and living with my dad would be far worse. I am happy on my own but i am having a hard time doing most necessary adult things because i am not emancipated and in kansas you need to be in order to do a lot. I can't get an apartment, apply for a loan, sign most contracts nor get insurance. I have no family or trusted adults that are willing or able to help me. Im looking for advice, since i would like to get health insurance and buy a car, but i am scared of being forced back into a bad situation if i try to get help. I ran away right after i turned 16 but went to the police for help. They were very cruel and told me i was just ungrateful and a bad person, when i told them i was scared of what my mom would do to me if i returned home, because she had threatened to kill me and has been abusive for as long as i can remember, they sent me directly home with her and told me to respect her more. In reality, I do not provoke her, or anyone, and I try my hardest to show every living thing ample respect (I am a Buddhist).
 


commentator

Senior Member
Okay, so you have a dad, another living arrangement possibility. You know if you "bring in the police" you'll end up either back with your mom, living with your dad or in foster care. What are you using for transportation? Where are you staying if, as you say, you have no family or trusted adults that are willing and able to help?
 

kyliev

Member
What is the name of your state? Kansas
...
My mom kicked me out less than a month after i turned 17. that was about a month and a half ago. I am hesitant to bring in law enforcement because the home life situation was abusive and neglectful and living with my dad would be far worse. I am happy on my own but i am having a hard time doing most necessary adult things because i am not emancipated and in kansas you need to be in order to do a lot. I can't get an apartment, apply for a loan, sign most contracts nor get insurance. I have no family or trusted adults that are willing or able to help me. Im looking for advice, since i would like to get health insurance and buy a car, but i am scared of being forced back into a bad situation if i try to get help. I ran away right after i turned 16 but went to the police for help. They were very cruel and told me i was just ungrateful and a bad person, when i told them i was scared of what my mom would do to me if i returned home, because she had threatened to kill me and has been abusive for as long as i can remember, they sent me directly home with her and told me to respect her more. In reality, I do not provoke her, or anyone, and I try my hardest to show every living thing ample respect (I am a Buddhist).
Okay, so you have a dad, another living arrangement possibility. You know if you "bring in the police" you'll end up either back with your mom, living with your dad or in foster care. What are you using for transportation? Where are you staying if, as you say, you have no family or trusted adults that are willing and able to help?
My dad is not an option as he is more abusive and told my mom to kick me out. That’s why I don’t want to involve police, because I’m not wanting to be placed in foster care or with either parent. I have a car but I need a new one. I stay a mix of with my boyfriend (who lives 2 hours from my high school), in my car and w my friends.
 

not2cleverRed

Obvious Observer
My dad is not an option as he is more abusive and told my mom to kick me out. That’s why I don’t want to involve police, because I’m not wanting to be placed in foster care or with either parent. I have a car but I need a new one. I stay a mix of with my boyfriend (who lives 2 hours from my high school), in my car and w my friends.
What's wrong with foster care?

Also, please make an appointment with the high school's guidance councilor.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
My dad is not an option as he is more abusive and told my mom to kick me out. That’s why I don’t want to involve police, because I’m not wanting to be placed in foster care or with either parent. I have a car but I need a new one. I stay a mix of with my boyfriend (who lives 2 hours from my high school), in my car and w my friends.
Does your boyfriend expect sex when you stay with him? What about your other friends?
 

Eekamouse

Senior Member
It's okay that you can't get a loan or car or health insurance at 17 because you likely can't afford any of those things.
 

commentator

Senior Member
So you pretty much already know what we can tell you. Until you are 18, you can't do any of these things, like get a better car, get insurance, get a place of your own. So whatever you do, you must do within these parameters. If your mother wants you back, you would have to go back. If your mother is not receiving any kind of assistance or support for you being there, and there's no incentive for her to want to take you back, she may let you be out on your own. Legally, she's obligated to keep you. But if that doesn't work, there's always the public service domain. In other words, foster care. If your father is in cahoots with your mother, and they are in agreement with you having to be out on your own or back with your mom, then you are pretty much stuck with your options.

What you're doing now, or foster care, or back to mom's. There is really not much of another option. You definitely need to speak with your school counselors about the abusive nature of your home situation with your mother. High school is something you cannot afford not to finish, no matter how tough it is. And you're looking at a whole year to go here. You've got to find some support from other adults in your world.
 

kyliev

Member
Well, you can't be emancipated either; you don't meet the requirements.

So, what is it that you want us to tell you?
I'm wondering if there's anything similar to it where I don't need to live with my parents or get full emancipated minor rights but still be able to buy my own insurance or qualify for loans or sign leases for myself, anything like that.
 

cbg

I'm a Northern Girl
I'm wondering if there's anything similar to it where I don't need to live with my parents or get full emancipated minor rights but still be able to buy my own insurance or qualify for loans or sign leases for myself, anything like that.
No, there isn't.
 

Eekamouse

Senior Member
While I appreciate the comment that is not the case and I can afford both
Let's see. You're 17 and likely have been working a year and that only part time since you are also still in high school. Just what sort of loan do you expect to qualify for?
 

cbg

I'm a Northern Girl
In my state, which I grant is not yours, the cheapest health insurance plan you could get at your age would cost $132 a month and has a deductible of $7900. Do you know what that means? It means that you would be paying $132 a month for insurance that won't even start paying until you have paid $7900 worth of medical bills.
 
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