kids want to voise their oppinions

[DianeL.]

Kids reside in Maryland. I just moved to Pa.

Oldest son is 16yrs old. Youngest is 11 yrs old. They have recently expressed to me that they really want to live with me. They are tired of all the fighting between their father and step mother.

The last fight between their father and step mother took place only 1 month ago which resulted in assult charges. the step mother basically clothes lined my youngest son standing in the hallway. Now my youngest son had just recieved a supena to go to court in Jan.

They both came to me and asked if they could live with me. I know the oldest has a voice and can say at this time who he wants to live with. However, the youngest at being 11 will take alot more. Im looking at a custody battle in court more then likely.

My question though is as far as the oldest at being 16 what are the procedures we need to take to get the ball rolling for him? Then from there for the 11 yr old?

Thank you for any help you may have.

 

[hexeliebe]

I know the oldest has a voice and can say at this time who he wants to live with.

If you believe this you would be wrong. He has a voice. But only the judge in your case can decide the legal issue of custody.

My question though is as far as the oldest at being 16 what are the procedures we need to take to get the ball rolling for him? Then from there for the 11 yr old?

My strongest advice would be to abandon any plans to split this into two separate issues. If the home environment is bad enough to allow the 16 year-old to move residents then it is also just as bad for the 11 year-old.

But boys may be given the chance to voice their opinion, but this is not set in law. It is at the discretion of the judge. And most likely a judge will speak with the children behind closed doors without you or the ex present.

If you want to fight this out in court then do it right. Include both boys or you may not get either.

 

[FJ1200guy]

Yep, to further illustrate what Hex said:

The judge make the final decision on your modification, and he will talk to the boys. How much value he puts on what they say not only depends on their ages, but their maturity and what it is they have to say. It's not all about age...

The judge took each of my children into his chambers for a talk. daughter was 11ish, son was 10ish. After all was said and done, he pretty much decided on what they prefered... not going with the mothers plan, or my plan. And it seems to be working out fine (except for me, but that's cool as long as the kids are happy).