Lack of non custodial parent!! Help!

[misskristy]

My daughters dad is very irresponsible. He tells my kids one thing and then never follows through. He has been like this there whole lives. I am lucky if i ever get childsupport but yet he feels he has a right to make decisions in there lifes. He has 4 kids under them 3 he has with him now cause of the girlfriend he currently has and he has 1 from a girl after mine were born. I feel bad for my kids cause he repeatedly tells them lies and never ever follows thru with anything what i need help with is what can i do?? Can someone else gain custody of them or are they destined to have a deadbeat dad all there lives??? I dont know what else to do but no matter what i try to do and no matter how much i try to tell him what he is doing wrong he still follows the same pattern. If there is any lawyers that can help me i would greatly appreciate it cause i am at a loss as of right now. the kicker on this is he told them he was sending them stuff for there birthdays over 2 weeks ago. the hardest part right now is we live in 2 different states i live in mass he lives in california but i let him take them over summer vacation because i feel bad that they dont get to see him during the year but i am starting not to feel bad which makes me feel worse for my kids. Thank you for whoever responds to this.

 

[LegalBeagle]

My daughters dad is very irresponsible. He tells my kids one thing and then never follows through. He has been like this there whole lives. I am lucky if i ever get childsupport but yet he feels he has a right to make decisions in there lifes. He has 4 kids under them 3 he has with him now cause of the girlfriend he currently has and he has 1 from a girl after mine were born. I feel bad for my kids cause he repeatedly tells them lies and never ever follows thru with anything what i need help with is what can i do?? Can someone else gain custody of them or are they destined to have a deadbeat dad all there lives??? I dont know what else to do but no matter what i try to do and no matter how much i try to tell him what he is doing wrong he still follows the same pattern. If there is any lawyers that can help me i would greatly appreciate it cause i am at a loss as of right now. the kicker on this is he told them he was sending them stuff for there birthdays over 2 weeks ago. the hardest part right now is we live in 2 different states i live in mass he lives in california but i let him take them over summer vacation because i feel bad that they dont get to see him during the year but i am starting not to feel bad which makes me feel worse for my kids. Thank you for whoever responds to this.

The first thing you need to go is get a grip and take control of the situation. YOU are in control. Are you documentating everything ? Is there a proper legal court order in place for custody, visitation and CS ? Does the visitation state he gets them for a month in CA ? How much in arrears is he ? How old are the children ?

 

[misskristy]

Lack of non custodial parent!!! HELP!! to Legalbeagle

There is a child support order but because when it was arranged i was in one state he was in another. He is supposed to pay 423.22 a month total. I am lucky if i recieve anything. He owes well over $10,000 in back support.I just started to document everything i never thought i would have to but it is starting to get old. But what type of things do i need to keep documented??? I have never seen a court order for anything all i know is that there is an order for childsupport thru the state of MA.(which is where i live) thru the Child Support Enforcement but as far as visitations i have never signed anything stating when or if he could see them I have done it all on my own because I hate seeing my kids sad cause they cant see there father. Kaylie just turned 10 on the 2nd of feb and Cassandra just turned 9 today.( feb 16 ). I am just stumped as to what I as a mother can do to either get him out of there lives.

 

[Ambr]

is the father employed?

you can contact the child support enforcement unit and they can set it up so that the support is withheld from his check. that way he doesn't have the option of paying or not paying. they can also intercept his income tax refund.

if he quits his job, then it is another matter. It will take a little while to track everything down and getting everything set back into place again.

you could help them out by providing the work information to them everytime that you find out where he works.

do the other mothers have support orders in place?

good luck!

ambr

 

[misskristy]

Lack of non custodial parent!! Help!!! Amber!

Well he was working and they do take it out of his check otherwise i would never see a cent of what he owes. But i just found out he hasnt worked since january of 2001 what a surprise. I know tht the mother of the 3rd child wants nothing to do with him and i dont think there is even a court order also he is with the mother of the last 3 children still the newest addition was born in january this year. I work my butt off to make sure my kids have what they need I just really want him to have nothing to do with there lives anymore all he does is lie to them and he never follows thru with stuff

 

[curlyq's mom]

I can't help with the support issue, but as far as I know there is no law against lying and broken promises, except in contracts. Unless he willingly terminates his parental rights, that man will remain their biological father. I suspect the girls will eventually, if not already, stop believing everything he says. Hopefully, if you have a good bond with them, they'll talk about it with you and you can help them sort through things.

 

[Ambr]

i wish there was something for all the broken promises.

my kids' dad has been promising them that he would take them on vacation to Disney Land ever since we have been divorced - 9 years ago!!!!

My son (he's 8)has already learned that dad doesn't carry through on promises. I have always done my best to try and cover for him and to make it up to the kids. A year ago I quit doing it. My son will talk about stuff that they are going to do and then say stuff like, but dad's just talking. we probably won't do it. he looks a little sad when he says it. i don't think their dad realizes what it is that he does when he breaks his word.

anyways...

the thing is that support is not a requirement for the visitation. that's two seperate issues. i understand all about working your butt off and not getting the help that you need to take care of the kids. but don't shut him out completely. they do need a relationship with their father and in time, they will decide one way or the other how they want to do it. they will see right through him and all the broken promises.

in the mean time, keep your head up and keep smiling. you got beautiful babies to take care of. you have to believe that alot of you rubs off on them and they will be strong enough to handle it. otherwise, you will go insane just worrying about it all.

good luck!

ambr

 

[misskristy]

lack of non custodial parent!!Help!!

I know what you guys are saying I have been there done that. They arent my only kids I have a son with a different father and am not with him anymore but we have an awesome relationship as far as my son goes he takes him every week and he pays childsupport and he really wants to be a part of his life. I know they see that and get very disturbed by it as would not any child. All I was wondering what i would have to do to get him out of there lives cause they deserve better. By the way to all that have replied thanks alot!!!!