Late for Visitation

[JALnTAL]

We are involved in the middle of a rather costly custody battle with an ex wife. The court originally ordered "Temporary orders" until the final hearing. We are supposed to go by an order of 2 days here and 2 days there until the final hearing. The wife is almost 3 hours late at this point, with no phone call and no messages. Its now 10 minutes past the children's bed time. Do we have any legal right to deny her if she shows up and we've already put the children to bed?

State: Texas

 

[LegalBeagle]

We are involved in the middle of a rather costly custody battle with an ex wife. The court originally ordered "Temporary orders" until the final hearing. We are supposed to go by an order of 2 days here and 2 days there until the final hearing. The wife is almost 3 hours late at this point, with no phone call and no messages. Its now 10 minutes past the children's bed time. Do we have any legal right to deny her if she shows up and we've already put the children to bed?

State: Texas

legal? moral? who knows.. points like this can go one way or the other with a judge. With no contact from the mother and no arrival then I do not think any judge will slap you for turning the mother away after a certain point and informing her to return in the morning.

 

[MySonsMom]

We are involved in the middle of a rather costly custody battle with an ex wife. The court originally ordered "Temporary orders" until the final hearing. We are supposed to go by an order of 2 days here and 2 days there until the final hearing. The wife is almost 3 hours late at this point, with no phone call and no messages. Its now 10 minutes past the children's bed time. Do we have any legal right to deny her if she shows up and we've already put the children to bed?

State: Texas

My suggestion:

If the visiting parent does not show up within 1/2 hour (hour if i'm feeling generous) we would go about our life. Document the incident.

We've done our share of calling all around town trying to find the visiting parent of our child because she didnt' show up. It's not our responsibility to track them down and let them know they are late. After awhile, I (we) stopped doing that. And if she doesn't show, she doesn't show. That's her loss.

[Edited by MySonsMom on 06-29-2001 at 10:39 AM]

 

[buka]

I agree with the 1/2 hour rule. After spending many hours (on many different occasions) waiting with an anxious child, wondering whether NCP would ever show up, we sent NCP a letter stating that we would wait 1/2 hour past the scheduled pick-up time and after that, we would consider the visit forfeited. It has worked well. Good luck.

 

[MySonsMom]

I agree with the 1/2 hour rule. After spending many hours (on many different occasions) waiting with an anxious child, wondering whether NCP would ever show up, we sent NCP a letter stating that we would wait 1/2 hour past the scheduled pick-up time and after that, we would consider the visit forfeited. It has worked well. Good luck.

Excellent move Buka. There is no reason whatsoever to accept that behavior. Once you start accommodating the tardiness the non custodial parent can feel that it is acceptable and take advantage of the custodial parents patience.

It made me absolutely sick when I would call from house to house looking for our non custodial parent. In all actuality, I looked pretty pathetic trying to track her down. I will no longer do that to myself or FOR her. Custodial parents are not obligated to guide or watch-over the visiting parent. They have responsibilities too, and one of their responsibilities is to be there on time to pick the child(ren) up on their time. If they are not, you document it and use it to prove irresponsibleness. (is that even a word)

 

[JALnTAL]

Update

Just an update.....

She called at 10pm that night (We were already in bed) stating that she had "Lost track of time". She then informed us that she "Might show up tomorrow". We're grinning and bearing it right now....all logged, nice and neat.

 

[MySonsMom]

Re: Update

Just an update.....

She called at 10pm that night (We were already in bed) stating that she had "Lost track of time". She then informed us that she "Might show up tomorrow". We're grinning and bearing it right now....all logged, nice and neat.

OMG, your X sounds like our bio Mom. You know how many times she has lost track of time, or have "forgotten". I have never in my life met someone who forgets as much as she does. It's VERY frustrating.

Glad that you have it logged, it works only to your advanatage and her disadvantage. (her screw ups)

Good luck!