Laws of Visitation for Parent in Nursing Home

[kymmie65]

What is the name of your state? MT

From 2002-2005 my husband and I took care of his father. We lived with him in his home and cared for him there. He was 88 at the time. His 24/7 care became more than we could provide so we contacted the other 2 brothers in hopes that they could share the responsibilities. (Example one weekend a month per brother.) Thier response was "No" and immediately started making arrangements to place him in a nursing home.

They placed him in a nursing home over a hundred miles from us and 45 miles from them in another state (ID). When my husband stopped by to visit his dad he found that his brothers had told the caregiver not to allow my husband to take him anywhere. The only reason we can come up with is the power struggle of siblings due to the fact that many people knew that they were not living up to the responiblity of helping out with thier father. So my husband visited anyway and when he went to leave his father raised such a rucus because he couldnt leave with him that now his brothers think that my husband is causing an adverse affect on him and do not want him visiting at all.

The last time he visited the caregiver requested he leave and when he refused she called my husband's brother and he advised her to call the police. The police talked with my husband and the caregiver shook his head and said "hopefully you can work this out" but never backed up the caregiver on making him leave.

Our question is what legally can we do to bypass this ridiculus power play?

 

[pojo2]

Is he mentally competent? If not file for guardianship. Who has his POA and Health care POA?

 

[kymmie65]

No he is not mentally competent. My husband has a POA that he has had for the past 4 years but his brother acquired one when they were putting him into the care facility. Would that override my husbands?

We thought that to apply for guardianship all siblings had to be in agreeance. What are the stipulations for guardianship?

 

[ceara19]

No he is not mentally competent. My husband has a POA that he has had for the past 4 years but his brother acquired one when they were putting him into the care facility. Would that override my husbands?

We thought that to apply for guardianship all siblings had to be in agreeance. What are the stipulations for guardianship?

More then likely the POA the brothers obtained states that it overrides any previous POA.

 

[kymmie65]

Does anyone know if they can keep my husband from visiting or taking him anywhere?

 

[pojo2]

So my husband visited anyway and when he went to leave his father raised such a rucus because he couldnt leave with him that now his brothers think that my husband is causing an adverse affect on him and do not want him visiting at all.

I think you ALL need to be educated on the behavior of loved ones placed in a Nursing Home. It is very typical (the nursing staff should know how to handle this situation) for the elder with mental incapacity to react this way. VERY typical.

The last time he visited the caregiver requested he leave and when he refused she called my husband's brother and he advised her to call the police.

I know someone will instantly tell me if I am incorrect and granted my knowledge with POA's is my own and from the financial side with clients over the years but I do not remember ANYWHERE it states one has the power to limit contact with the individual. Now if there is a health care POA that MIGHT address such issues.

Our question is what legally can we do to bypass this ridiculus power play?

Well unless everyone grows up and acts in Dad's interest instead of ALL of them acting for their own purposes you will need legal intervention.

The nursing home should have a Social Services person on staff that you can ALL meet with and figure out some visitation arrangements or they can go on as is and make every visit hell on both the Father and all of them.

 

[kymmie65]

The nursing home should have a Social Services person on staff that you can ALL meet with and figure out some visitation arrangements or they can go on as is and make every visit hell on both the Father and all of them.

The nursing facility is a private care and the owner is a friend of the brothers. We were afraid we might have to get legal intervention. So where would we start? We definately do not want to make it hard on his father in anyway. He is almost 92 years old, my husband would like to spend as much time with him as possible, they are very close.

 

[pojo2]

My first step would be to find out if the facility has a state license and if it is current! Well, I guess my very first step would be an Atty.

 

[BlondiePB]

What is the name of your state? MT

From 2002-2005 my husband and I took care of his father. We lived with him in his home and cared for him there. He was 88 at the time. His 24/7 care became more than we could provide so we contacted the other 2 brothers in hopes that they could share the responsibilities. (Example one weekend a month per brother.) Thier response was "No" and immediately started making arrangements to place him in a nursing home.

They placed him in a nursing home over a hundred miles from us and 45 miles from them in another state (ID). When my husband stopped by to visit his dad he found that his brothers had told the caregiver not to allow my husband to take him anywhere. The only reason we can come up with is the power struggle of siblings due to the fact that many people knew that they were not living up to the responiblity of helping out with thier father. So my husband visited anyway and when he went to leave his father raised such a rucus because he couldnt leave with him that now his brothers think that my husband is causing an adverse affect on him and do not want him visiting at all.

The last time he visited the caregiver requested he leave and when he refused she called my husband's brother and he advised her to call the police. The police talked with my husband and the caregiver shook his head and said "hopefully you can work this out" but never backed up the caregiver on making him leave.

Our question is what legally can we do to bypass this ridiculus power play?

When did your brother-in-laws place your FIL in the nursing home in Idaho?

Have they established Idaho residency for your FIL?

 

[BlondiePB]

Originally posted by pojo2
I know someone will instantly tell me if I am incorrect and granted my knowledge with POA's is my own and from the financial side with clients over the years but I do not remember ANYWHERE it states one has the power to limit contact with the individual. Now if there is a health care POA that MIGHT address such issues.

Depending on the powers granted to the POA, the POA can place restraining orders on others on behalf of the grantor.

 

[kymmie65]

When did your brother-in-laws place your FIL in the nursing home in Idaho?

Have they established Idaho residency for your FIL?

They put him in this particular private home about 6 months ago. Im not sure if they have made him a legal resident or not. I dont even know how we would find out information like that since they wont tell us anything at all. We even had to listen for clues and then find him using the internet.

Depending on the powers granted to the POA, the POA can place restraining orders on others on behalf of the grantor.

Let me ask this, Does the grantor have to be of sound mind to establish someone as POA? How can we obtain a copy of the POA, does it have to be filed somewhere?

 

[xylene]

Sadly families don't always behave as they should.

Your situation is quite complex, and even though it is very lame what brothers can do to brothers, you need to llok out for dad.

The best, and really the only sound way to procede is with a lawyer.

This is not a DIY project, and you don't want to make or repeat mistakes that could seriously complicate the issue later.

For instance an emotionally charged confrontation with the police at the home.


Get a lawyer.

It is a common feeling to believe that begining legal action against family is wrong.

But it is not you who made the situation this way.

Smarten up, and realize that your time is limited.

Sorry that brother can't come to that conclusion without legal intervention.

 

[kymmie65]

Sadly families don't always behave as they should.

Yes I have heard of families doing things like this, but never in a million years thought I would experience the child like behavior associated with the whole deal.

It is a common feeling to believe that begining legal action against family is wrong.

Your right, we never wanted to take this route. However we know that they legally have no right to do this and we would never involve Dad in any bad scene with the police (my husband took the run in with the Police outside, Dad never saw or knew anything about that).

Thanks for all the great advice, we really appreciate it.

 

[BlondiePB]

They put him in this particular private home about 6 months ago. Im not sure if they have made him a legal resident or not. I dont even know how we would find out information like that since they wont tell us anything at all. We even had to listen for clues and then find him using the internet.



Let me ask this, Does the grantor have to be of sound mind to establish someone as POA? How can we obtain a copy of the POA, does it have to be filed somewhere?

The reason I asked about establishing residency is because guardianships are jurisdictional that need to be established in the county where the ward is domiciled. Petition for guardianship for FIL. Ask an Elder Law/Probate attorney that specializes in guardianships where to petition. Most will provide you with a free initial consultation.

Yes, the grantor has to be of sound mind to sign a POA, and a POA can take out restraining orders on behalf of the grantor. Sorry for the delay in replying. My hands are full with other things.