• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

Learned a lesson - now what?!

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.


Junior Member
What is the name of your state? I live in PA, he lives in Maryland where we spent most of our marriage.

My husband of 7 years cheated on me and abandoned me while I was 8 months pregnant. I have emails from the other woman stating all of this, he even admitted it although he would try to deny it in court. He took our car (it was in his name only) and moved to a new apartment. We don't have a house or any valuable assets.

He promised that he would help me out (I suppose they all say that) and of course never did, I had our baby and moved to PA to be with my mother who has cancer and I have been acting as their housekeeper/live in nurse and stay at home mom breastfeeding my baby. My baby is now 10 months old and I am more than ready to go back to work and find a reasonable apartment to live in. He hasn't ever sent me money, I have had no expenses because my parents have been helping me since I have been caring for them and the house. I agreed to keep him out of court if he would at least keep up the health insurance--that has recently been cancelled.

He is currently in Iraq basically a self-employed worker over there. He still calls to check up and emails infrequently. I do know he makes $650 a day. My question is now that my son and I have no health insurance, I do want to take some legal action. I do not know his actual U.S. address anymore (just the one he moved to after leaving me which is not current), I do however have his APO address. He is working over there for 90 day incriments and I am not sure if his address will be the same each time he goes.

I need some money to start finding a job and putting my son in day care. I have no idea if I have an impossible case since he is overseas and out of state. Hind sight is always 20/20 and boy I realize how absolutely stupid I have been, just writing this makes me embarrassed. I can not believe how ridiculously naive I was. I was stressed with a newborn and a still ailing parent and well a lot of other things--aren't good excuses at all.

I have absolutely no money at this time and my parents do not have the means to lend me money and help me out in that fashion-which I wouldn't expect them to do. Could a lawyer help me without up front payment? Should I file for child support/alimony? Do I qualify for some short term assistance? What should my first step be?


Senior Member
You need to be thinking of filing for a divorce before you think about alimony.

His APO address is a stateside address.


Senior Member
Shay-Pari'e said:
You need to be thinking of filing for a divorce before you think about alimony.

His APO address is a stateside address.
I agree...but not about child support. She needs to be thinking about that now.


Junior Member
A link that may help.....


I am pursuing a similar objective. Please follow this link and read it thoroughly. It may answer a few of your questions or at least point you in the right direction.


(By the way, many of us are embarrassed by our situations. You are not alone. You're in the right place for jacked up situations caused by jacked up people who perpetrate their selfish deeds on others. Don't criticize yourself for believing in somebody. You've learned some lessons the hard way but at least you know how to handle situations better in the future.)


Junior Member
Thanks for the link, that is a great site and thanks everyone for the advice.

(Thanks also for the kind words juliejulie I think I really did need to hear that!)
Last edited:

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential