I am from Massachussets. My girlfriend has a 4 1/2 year old son and I am very frustrated by her current situation.
She has been the boy's primary caregiver until he was about 4, at which time the bio father decided he wanted a part of the boy's life. He brought his case to court and won visitation rights, but also shot himself in the foot because at the same time the court said he needed to be paying child support (both for the past, and going forward).
As an aside, up until this time the mother had made an effort to get the bio-father involved in the boy's life, but he had been less than cooperative up until this time.
Firstly, the bio-father is in delinquency on some of the child support payments, which doesn't really concern me, but may be useful information for answering my ultimate question.
Basically, the father is a horrible caregiver and I contend that his presence is quite detrimental to the boy's mental health. The boy stayed with him for 1 week (that is the longest stretch) and came back having gained several pounds, with his hair long enough to hang in his eyes (he's 4 1/2 yrs old). This indicates that the bio-dad does not tend to his hygiene as well as he should. Also, I have read some of the emails that he sends to my girlfriend and he truly suffers from some degree of psychosis. Purely by definition of the word, the bio-father is psychotic. He suffers from delusions and brings to bear the most ludicrous and unreal personal accusations against the boy's mother. He believes that he is the only one who gives proper care to the boy, who he refers to constantly as "MY SON" He accuses the mother (my girlfriend) of drinking and chasing men, without a concern for her son's well being. From direct experience, I can say that these claims have no bearing on reality whatsoever. She is a caring mother, who sets appropriate limits on her son, and who buys only organic/all natural food for the boy and sees to all of his needs appropriately.
I can only imagine what the bio-father tells the boy about the mother, and the psychological harm done to the boy as a result will be immeasurable. I am frustrated beyond belief because the courts seem to be living in the dark ages of psychology. The father's lawyer had a psychologist come in and say, "children need to have a relationship with both bio-parents in order to be well adjusted." This is an antiquated and completely irrational idea. That then would say that all adopted children cannot be well adjusted.
Clearly what is essential is to have positive, caring role models of both genders in the child's life. The bio-father does NOT fit that role. Is there ANY legal recourse that the mother has in this type of scenario?
Thank You.
She has been the boy's primary caregiver until he was about 4, at which time the bio father decided he wanted a part of the boy's life. He brought his case to court and won visitation rights, but also shot himself in the foot because at the same time the court said he needed to be paying child support (both for the past, and going forward).
As an aside, up until this time the mother had made an effort to get the bio-father involved in the boy's life, but he had been less than cooperative up until this time.
Firstly, the bio-father is in delinquency on some of the child support payments, which doesn't really concern me, but may be useful information for answering my ultimate question.
Basically, the father is a horrible caregiver and I contend that his presence is quite detrimental to the boy's mental health. The boy stayed with him for 1 week (that is the longest stretch) and came back having gained several pounds, with his hair long enough to hang in his eyes (he's 4 1/2 yrs old). This indicates that the bio-dad does not tend to his hygiene as well as he should. Also, I have read some of the emails that he sends to my girlfriend and he truly suffers from some degree of psychosis. Purely by definition of the word, the bio-father is psychotic. He suffers from delusions and brings to bear the most ludicrous and unreal personal accusations against the boy's mother. He believes that he is the only one who gives proper care to the boy, who he refers to constantly as "MY SON" He accuses the mother (my girlfriend) of drinking and chasing men, without a concern for her son's well being. From direct experience, I can say that these claims have no bearing on reality whatsoever. She is a caring mother, who sets appropriate limits on her son, and who buys only organic/all natural food for the boy and sees to all of his needs appropriately.
I can only imagine what the bio-father tells the boy about the mother, and the psychological harm done to the boy as a result will be immeasurable. I am frustrated beyond belief because the courts seem to be living in the dark ages of psychology. The father's lawyer had a psychologist come in and say, "children need to have a relationship with both bio-parents in order to be well adjusted." This is an antiquated and completely irrational idea. That then would say that all adopted children cannot be well adjusted.
Clearly what is essential is to have positive, caring role models of both genders in the child's life. The bio-father does NOT fit that role. Is there ANY legal recourse that the mother has in this type of scenario?
Thank You.
