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Litigation Again - 13 months after Mediated Agreement

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What is the name of your state? Oklahoma

Good Morning -

Before hiring an attorney again and being out more expense, I'm trying to determine/gauge answers to 3 main questions:

1) Approx 13 months ago, we went to mediation when my ex-wife filed a petition to change child support, as part of that mediation process we settled on a new amount and confirmed/re-confirmed other areas such as primary residence, joint medical decision making on medical and education matters etc. Now, 13 months later - she's filed another petition wanting to increase support, asking for her to now have sole decision making ability for medical, educational, dental and other items. My suspicion is that she is not happy with my decision to have a second opinion on my child's diagnosis and there's now a disagreement between the medical providers written recommendations. I've tried to compromise on the matter but she isn't budging. Given that all this was settled 13 months ago and we've always had joint medical decision making - is it likely to change? She's forcing the mediation clause for us to go back to mediation since that was stipulated in our last agreement.

2) If this goes back to court, is it likely I'll obtain my legal fees?

3) I don't see mediation being fruitful since she's not offering anything and simply wants large scale changes to our most recent agreement - do I have to comply with the mediation clause in our current agreement?

Thanks
SJ
 


Just Blue

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? Oklahoma

Good Morning -

Before hiring an attorney again and being out more expense, I'm trying to determine/gauge answers to 3 main questions:

1) Approx 13 months ago, we went to mediation when my ex-wife filed a petition to change child support, as part of that mediation process we settled on a new amount and confirmed/re-confirmed other areas such as primary residence, joint medical decision making on medical and education matters etc. Now, 13 months later - she's filed another petition wanting to increase support, asking for her to now have sole decision making ability for medical, educational, dental and other items. My suspicion is that she is not happy with my decision to have a second opinion on my child's diagnosis and there's now a disagreement between the medical providers written recommendations. I've tried to compromise on the matter but she isn't budging. Given that all this was settled 13 months ago and we've always had joint medical decision making - is it likely to change? She's forcing the mediation clause for us to go back to mediation since that was stipulated in our last agreement.

2) If this goes back to court, is it likely I'll obtain my legal fees?

3) I don't see mediation being fruitful since she's not offering anything and simply wants large scale changes to our most recent agreement - do I have to comply with the mediation clause in our current agreement?

Thanks
SJ
1.What was the disagreements between Dx and recommendation?

2. Depends.

3. You must follow the court order
 
1.What was the disagreements between Dx and recommendation? She doesn't want medication and has indicated that the child's primary doctor states its not needed. The doctor I had him visit believes he has ADD and needs to start medication. I've offered to trial this approach for 6 months and re-evaluate with her but she's opposed. This doctor has offered to meet with her, and she refused.

2. Depends.

3. You must follow the court order
I've read elsewhere that courts don't typically change mediated agreements unless there's an urgent or emergency issue (at least thats how I read it) and so I don't know what exactly I'm up against.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
If you can not agree, then mediation is how this must be resolved. How old is the child?


As an aside, please don't respond inside the quote area. Respond below the [ ] . This way it doesn't appear that I am responding to myself. ;)
 
If you can not agree, then mediation is how this must be resolved. How old is the child?


As an aside, please don't respond inside the quote area. Respond below the [ ] . This way it doesn't appear that I am responding to myself. ;)
Thanks Just Blue - sorry about how I replied to the quote, new to the forums but I think I have it down now =)

The child is 10 years old. Having never had a "failed mediation" - what simply happens if we don't reach an agreement? She's already told me she's going to escalate this to the court for a trial so I suspect it's going to land on the judge's desk one way or another. I wasn't sure if the age of the recent agreement would be a factor or if a judge would simply say the current agreement isn't working/flexible enough so the judge will decide it all over again.

Thx
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
I don't think her position is unreasonable, and, as such, it's not likely that she'll be ordered to pay your costs.
 

not2cleverRed

Obvious Observer
I don't think her position is unreasonable, and, as such, it's not likely that she'll be ordered to pay your costs.
I concur that it is not frivolous, and that court costs are highly unlikely.

However, I question whether it's a slam dunk that she'll get everything she wants in court.

None of us know which medical expert's diagnosis would be considered more credible, or the reason why the child has been evaluated in the first place. This may be just a parenting difference or it might not be a parenting difference.

OP should make sure he has expert testimony if mediation fails.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
I concur that it is not frivolous, and that court costs are highly unlikely.

However, I question whether it's a slam dunk that she'll get everything she wants in court.

None of us know which medical expert's diagnosis would be considered more credible, or the reason why the child has been evaluated in the first place. This may be just a parenting difference or it might not be a parenting difference.

OP should make sure he has expert testimony if mediation fails.
A reasonable thing to do may be to agree upon a mutually acceptable and binding third opinion.
 
I concur that it is not frivolous, and that court costs are highly unlikely.

However, I question whether it's a slam dunk that she'll get everything she wants in court.

None of us know which medical expert's diagnosis would be considered more credible, or the reason why the child has been evaluated in the first place. This may be just a parenting difference or it might not be a parenting difference.

OP should make sure he has expert testimony if mediation fails.
Thanks everyone.

What makes you believe it won't be a slam dunk? I've heard this from others but not a lot of reasons on why.

So If I'm reading these answers correctly (and I don't have a lot of experience with mediation, petitions and courts in general) does that mean that the protections I was told I had with a mediated agreement aren't really there? Either I misunderstood or I was misinformed - I was under the impression that reaching an agreement in mediation and having a MSA offered some sort of protection and there wasn't a way to have a "do over" other than perhaps child support numbers since those can always change within 3 years or so. I wasn't aware that basically all the items other than child support can be hashed over again (or forcibly changed) if another agreement isnt' reached. My prior attorney has since retired or I'd be asking him all this so thats why I'm curious.
 
A reasonable thing to do may be to agree upon a mutually acceptable and binding third opinion.
I've suggested the "tie breaker" approach and she doesn't want another opinion on the matter. She has told me specifically either I back off on medication or she wants a hearing and a judge will decide.
 

adjusterjack

Senior Member
So If I'm reading these answers correctly (and I don't have a lot of experience with mediation, petitions and courts in general) does that mean that the protections I was told I had with a mediated agreement aren't really there? Either I misunderstood or I was misinformed - I was under the impression that reaching an agreement in mediation and having a MSA offered some sort of protection
You had "some sort of protection" for 13 months. Now she wants more.

I've suggested the "tie breaker" approach and she doesn't want another opinion on the matter. She has told me specifically either I back off on medication or she wants a hearing and a judge will decide.
Well, then, your choice is to either back off or fight.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Thanks everyone.

What makes you believe it won't be a slam dunk? I've heard this from others but not a lot of reasons on why.
Because you've got two medical doctors disagreeing with each other and you (plural) refuse to come to an agreement. The fact that you refuse to come to an agreement on the matter means that a court would need to decide. That's why it's a reasonable position for her to take.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? Oklahoma

Good Morning -

Before hiring an attorney again and being out more expense, I'm trying to determine/gauge answers to 3 main questions:

1) Approx 13 months ago, we went to mediation when my ex-wife filed a petition to change child support, as part of that mediation process we settled on a new amount and confirmed/re-confirmed other areas such as primary residence, joint medical decision making on medical and education matters etc. Now, 13 months later - she's filed another petition wanting to increase support, asking for her to now have sole decision making ability for medical, educational, dental and other items. My suspicion is that she is not happy with my decision to have a second opinion on my child's diagnosis and there's now a disagreement between the medical providers written recommendations. I've tried to compromise on the matter but she isn't budging. Given that all this was settled 13 months ago and we've always had joint medical decision making - is it likely to change? She's forcing the mediation clause for us to go back to mediation since that was stipulated in our last agreement.
Child support is based on a formula. If you previously settled on something less than the formula, that can be changed by the courts.

As far a medical decision making is concerned it depends, in great part, whether or not the court feels that you are acting strictly in the best interest of your child, and not at all on the best interests of your wallet. If your desire for a second opinion is considered to be reasonable, and the disagreement between medical providers not dangerous to the welfare of your child then mom is unlikely to prevail on that. However if you are at all perceived to be unreasonable or acting contrary to the best interest of your child, then mom could win on that issue. So, the devil is in the details.

2) If this goes back to court, is it likely I'll obtain my legal fees?
In my opinion, unlikely. Mom's petition would have to be considered to be frivolous, and it does not come across that way to me.

3) I don't see mediation being fruitful since she's not offering anything and simply wants large scale changes to our most recent agreement - do I have to comply with the mediation clause in our current agreement?

Thanks
SJ
If you don't attempt to participate in mediation it could cause you to appear to be the one who is unreasonable. However, the reality of things is that at least on the child support issue, it can and will be calculated to guideline support if the two of you do not agree on something else.
 
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