Living overseas..visitation

[Pebbles1967]

divorced in the state of iowa.
my ex-husband filed for divorce in iowa and we have been divorced for over a year. i now live in england with my new husband and two sons from my previous marriage. when i signed the divorce agreement i agreed to pay all expenses for my sons to go back to the usa to see their father twice a year. however at that time i was working for a major us based airline and i could fly nearly for free. now i am unemployed and simply cannot afford to pay for overseas tickets twice a year. i offered to pay for a ticket for my ex to come to england to see the children but he declined the offer and said he will take me to court. my question is can i be penalized for not being able to afford plane fare? i am not keeping the children from him. i just simply cannot afford to pay for airfare to the usa whenever he wishes to see the children.

 

[LegalBeagle]

divorced in the state of iowa.
my ex-husband filed for divorce in iowa and we have been divorced for over a year. i now live in england with my new husband and two sons from my previous marriage. when i signed the divorce agreement i agreed to pay all expenses for my sons to go back to the usa to see their father twice a year. however at that time i was working for a major us based airline and i could fly nearly for free. now i am unemployed and simply cannot afford to pay for overseas tickets twice a year. i offered to pay for a ticket for my ex to come to england to see the children but he declined the offer and said he will take me to court. my question is can i be penalized for not being able to afford plane fare? i am not keeping the children from him. i just simply cannot afford to pay for airfare to the usa whenever he wishes to see the children.

Yes you can be penalized for your actions. The judge will see that you lied to the court in order to be allowed to leave the US (whether this is true or not is irrelevant). Without the agreement to pay for the visitation expense, a judge would never have allowed you to leave.

A court will be told that you have moved the children 4000 miles from their father and now refuse to allow him access/visitation in his own country. If your ex goes through with his threat, then he will probably file contempt charges and possible even for a change in custody.

Chances are, the first petition will result in an order to return the children for visitation. If you fail to do so, he will be able to successfully petition for a change of custody. You could then be ordered to return the children for a transfer of custody to the father. If you refuse to do so, a warrant will be put out for your arrest. This means the moment you set foot back into the US, you will be arrested and the children taken into care until transferred to the father.

If you decide to stay in the US, then there is not much he can do about it unless he has a great deal of money and pursues this into the UK courts.

Good luck!

 

[Pebbles1967]

Legal Beagle please read

regarding leaving the country with the children...
my exhusband is a us serviceman based in japan for the next four years. before he left he gave me a notorized document stating he gives me permission reside with the children in the uk. it was our agreement together and the issue was never brought up in court. does this change anything? please understand i am certainly not trying to keep him from seeing his children. i offered to bring him here to the uk and pay all his expenses. he is a good father and our differences have never had a negative impact on the raising of our children. a uk solicitor told me the agreement i signed was "unreasonable" and wouldnt hold water if taken to court but somehow i wanted to have an opinion of an american legal professional. thanks for your comments.

 

[LegalBeagle]

Re: Legal Beagle please read

regarding leaving the country with the children...
my exhusband is a us serviceman based in japan for the next four years. before he left he gave me a notorized document stating he gives me permission reside with the children in the uk. it was our agreement together and the issue was never brought up in court. does this change anything? please understand i am certainly not trying to keep him from seeing his children. i offered to bring him here to the uk and pay all his expenses. he is a good father and our differences have never had a negative impact on the raising of our children. a uk solicitor told me the agreement i signed was "unreasonable" and wouldnt hold water if taken to court but somehow i wanted to have an opinion of an american legal professional. thanks for your comments.

So he is not even in the US? You could have saved me a lot of time by telling me this minor detail Does this mean he intends to return to the US for the visitation?

The UK solicitor is wrong. Agreements like this are common place when one person wants to take the children out of the US. The court does not see why the NCP should have to pay for visitation when they are being moved so far away. You also have to remember that jurisdiction is with the US courts. One day you may want to return to the US!

To be honest, what happens next is up to the father.. and then it will depend on how much weight the judge puts on the agreement. I think at the very least, a judge will order you to pay for a large part of the visitation costs. He may also slap your hand for not getting the courts permission to relocate.

 

[Pebbles1967]

more whining from me

yes we agreed to meet in chicago il for the "swapping" of children. the really sad part (feeling sorry for myself) is I feel I was taken full advantage of for this reason...
my ex is active duty air force his home of record is iowa. we were residing in the state of nc when we separated. he immediately filed for divorce in the state of iowa just three months after our legal separation. in the state of iowa. there is only a three month mandatory separation period before a petition for divorce can be filed. he told me to get a lawyer. i went to seek legal advice from an attny in nc and he told me he cannot help me because the legal separation period in nc is one year. he said i would have to go to iowa and get an attny. i simpy couldnt afford to do this. my ex was packing up and getting ready to leave for japan. he said if i didnt agree to his agreement then i would have to stay married to him until he returned from japan 4 years later and i would have to stay in nc with the children. i didnt want to stay in nc since i had no family or friends there. i was thre just because of his military assignement. however he told me i could take the children to england (i was offered a job there) IF i relinquished all rights i had to his military pension. basically i agreed because he sold out his children. i signed the agreement without ANY legal council at all. i was never presented with anything from the court system regarding taking the children out of the country. our divorce agreement states clearly that "both parties will be living abroad" but thats about the extent of it.

 

[LegalBeagle]

Re: more whining from me

yes we agreed to meet in chicago il for the "swapping" of children. the really sad part (feeling sorry for myself) is I feel I was taken full advantage of for this reason...
my ex is active duty air force his home of record is iowa. we were residing in the state of nc when we separated. he immediately filed for divorce in the state of iowa just three months after our legal separation. in the state of iowa. there is only a three month mandatory separation period before a petition for divorce can be filed. he told me to get a lawyer. i went to seek legal advice from an attny in nc and he told me he cannot help me because the legal separation period in nc is one year. he said i would have to go to iowa and get an attny. i simpy couldnt afford to do this. my ex was packing up and getting ready to leave for japan. he said if i didnt agree to his agreement then i would have to stay married to him until he returned from japan 4 years later and i would have to stay in nc with the children. i didnt want to stay in nc since i had no family or friends there. i was thre just because of his military assignement. however he told me i could take the children to england (i was offered a job there) IF i relinquished all rights i had to his military pension. basically i agreed because he sold out his children. i signed the agreement without ANY legal council at all. i was never presented with anything from the court system regarding taking the children out of the country. our divorce agreement states clearly that "both parties will be living abroad" but thats about the extent of it.

Then that line in your divorce agreement (which I assume was signed by a judge) is your protection. What court ordered visitation and Child Support was agreed?

Since you have this line in the agreement, and your visitation costs agreement was not court ordered.. AND the fact that he is living in Japan, then you have a good chance at avoiding full cost should he petition the courts. Do you think he will go to court over this?

Hey, if living overseas was in the court order, then why did you sign the other agreement agreeing to pay for the flights?




[Edited by LegalBeagle on 05-17-2001 at 01:37 PM]

 

[Pebbles1967]

more stuff

the agreement to pay for the flights is in the same paragraph as the statement about us both living out of the country. I just dug up my papers and this is what I have in front of me. Its just a notarized copy filed with the Jones County Clerks office. Here is what is written word for word.
regarding visitation. "Since both parties will be out of the country, the primary custodian agrees to pay all expenses to bring the minor children back to the United States to Chicago Illinois for the other party's visitation time for a total fo two times a year..."
Like I mentioned. This agreement was just signed and notarized and stamped and filed with the court. No judges signature at all. The only documents I have with a judges signature are a "Application to waive mediation" the divorce decree (by the way it states on the decree "No children have been born to or adopted by the parties to this marriage") Those are the only forms that were signed by a judge. Funny really the judge actually printed his name. anyone could have done that! Im thinking my ex retained his lawyer from Disney World and the judge is Peter Pan.

 

[Pebbles1967]

and..

yes i think eventually he will try to take me to court on this because he said i would have to pay for all court costs. i dont know what he is going to do next. He is like a loose cannon really. He said he will pay for the plane tickets THIS time so I am bringing them to see him this summer but I worry he will try to keep them. Paranoid, I am but I just dont kow what tricks he has up his sleeve!

 

[Pebbles1967]

and....

yes i think eventually he will try to take me to court on this because he said i would have to pay for all court costs. i dont know what he is go to do next. He is like a loose cannon really. He said he will pay for the plane tickets THIS time so I am bringing them to see him this summer but I worry he will try to keep them. Paranoid, I am but I just dont know what tricks he has up his sleeve!