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Long distance visitation

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net_kitten

Guest
I live in ohio and am moving to PA next month with my two children. I have permission in my divorce decree from ex to do so. We agreed to "rule 19 long distance parenting time" for visitation.
Since we will be living 400 miles apart and round trip is 12 hours, am I correct in believing we dont do a "every other weekend" visitation after the move?
I understood it to mean that we would be involved in longer summer visits and holidays and the every other weekend issue wouldnt apply because of the distance.
Any advice would be appreciated
 


Ambr

Senior Member
here is a sample long distance visitation that i got (think it was from ladyblu)when i was working on a new visitation schedule.

=====================
When Mom and Dad are separated by distance

Here’s the standard visitation when the child and the non-custodial parent are separated by distance, also phrased with Mom as the custodial parent:

The Husband shall have the right to the have the children with him as follows:

One weekend a month, to begin on Saturday at 8 am and to End on Sunday at 4 pm.

6 weeks during each summer, time to be selected by the Father, provided, however, that Husband shall have notified the Wife of the dates of the intended visitation at least 30 days before such visitation. (Not to started until the school year is complete and to finish at least one week prior to school starting back up)

Each Christmas, beginning on December 25th, at 3:00 pm and ending New Years’ Day at 3:00 pm.

During odd years, Spring Break vacation from 9:00 am Saturday until the following Saturday at 6:00 pm

During the even years, Thanksgiving vacation from 6:00 pm Wednesday until Sunday at 3:00 pm

Any other reasonable times the Husband is in the town in which the minor children reside. Husband shall give 48 hours’ notice and the visitation should be no longer than 48 hours in duration.

At such other times as agreed upon between the parties.

During any period of visitation, after the children have reach the age of 12 years, the said children may travel by commercial airliner, provided:
- the husband shall pay HALF of all air fares for the transportation of said children.
- Paid to the Wife at time of purchase, at least 3 weeks prior to flight
- Documentation of costs will be supplied to the Father.
- All travel arrangements shall be made by the mother
- The mother shall notify the husband not less than 10 days of the date of the visitation, of the date, time airline and flight number of the proposed carrier.
- Shall be required to deliver the children to the nearest commercial airport offering direct flight service to the airport at which the husband will receive the children, not to be in excess of 150 miles from Wife’s residence.
- Wife shall pick up said children at the termination of the period of visitations.
- Husband shall ensure that either he or the children notifies the wife of the arrival of the children as soon as possible after the children are met by the Husband.
- At the end of the period of visitation, the husband shall notify the wife of the dates, time, carrier, and flight number of the return flight of the children, the wife shall ensure that either she or the children notify the husband of the children’s return.

The husband shall enjoy the right of telephone visitation each Wednesday, between the hours of 7:00 pm and 8:00 pm local time with the minor children, at the Husband’s expense. The wife shall not interfere with the telephone conversation during the said period of time.
- The children will also have access to call their father during the week.

Each parent shall keep the other informed of the primary residence and telephone number where the Children reside or visit.
 
N

net_kitten

Guest
All of that sounds like the info I read in the documents, other than I dont recall seeing anything about one weekend a month.
Thank you so much for your reply ..its greatly appreciated
 

Ambr

Senior Member
i recently reworked my visitation schedule for long distance.

the distance involved for me is driveable, no need to fly or the expense of the flight. just a weekend trip. alot would depend on how realistic the visitation is.

the distance is similiar to mine. 6 hour drive one way. we are actually doing that every other weekend right now. scary, huh? we have requested that it be once a month. we are still waiting on the judges decision.

transportation costs should have been covered when you were granted permission for the move. was it? is the ex willing to meet you halfway maybe? or will you bring them in? do you have relatives that you could stay with when you come in? possibly bring them in and visit with family while they are with dad? then go home?

my lawyer stated that when you are within driving distance that once a month is a basic, along with the summer, etc. of course, my relocation wasn't that easy, he contested - so it was a matter of give to allow it.

 
N

net_kitten

Guest
wow we do have similar circumstances.
Our decree states we will meet half way, however If I wanted
to drive all the way in to visit with family I could do that also..stay at my mothers. Also, our oldest daughter will be staying with Ex and the two younger children moving with me. So Im sure I will be driving in from time to time to visit with her other than the standard visitation that is set up. He fought us moving at first before the final divorce, but once I offered to let him move back into the house and sign it over then he was ok with the move..being crammed in a one bedroom apartment for over a year tends to make you think things out a little differently lol.
I feel for you with the every other weekend drive, a while after my separation I met a wonderful man in PA where I am moving to, and happy to announce we are engaged.
So we have done the trip every other weekend for quite some time now ..and sheesh its rough, I feel for ya!
I only have another month before I can move there (house will be completely built by then) and can kiss these every other weekend trips goodbye.
When you say your husband fought you on it..did you end up getting permission from him or did it come down to a judge's say so that you could finally move?
Luckily I got him to agree to it in the divorce decree but for the longest time was the fear of having to let a judge decide.
 

Ambr

Senior Member
nope, my ex isn't that easy to convice of anything. i am the spawn of satan and everything that i do is evil! :)

we had to go in front of the judge and we are still waiting on the decision. the judge is thinking things through. of course, it didn't help that the mo supremem court threw out all the states guidelines on relocation three weeks prior to my court date (which had been postponed 2 times, i really wish we would have gotten in there sooner). and they didn't lay out any new guidelines. the only thing that the judge has to go on in the original "best interest of the children" outlines.

how old are your kids? one of the things that was mentioned in my hearing was his fear that the kids would not want to do the traveling when they were older. that activities and friends would be more important to them then traveling to dads for the weekends or summer. we tried to explain that this would be an issue rather we were 400 miles or 4 blocks from him. as kids go older, they do those things.
 
N

net_kitten

Guest
As long as it took for this page to load..I was beginning to think it was somehow connected with the court system lol.
I almost forgot what I was responding to!
My children that are moving with me are almost 12(boy) and almost 4 (girl). My oldest daughter who lives with my Ex is 15. And she has already stated she doesnt want to come spend a summer with me due to missing out on her things she likes to do with friends. I may not insist she come for the whole 6 weeks but I do want her to come for at least 2..surely she could survive 14 days not being at the mall? hehe
There is a really interesting site written by a Michigan lawyer (I think). Anyway he gives a great perspective to divorce and custody issues in simple people terms..actually its pretty entertaining. There is a chapter on relocation issues and some great advice on how a judge views this, what to do and not do..you have may have been to it before but if not here is the link..once there, scroll down the page until you come to all the categories to read. It was so informative and interesting that I read everything..even things that didnt have to do with my case. Some of it you just cant help but crack up about.
http://www.tir.com/~jwhalen/page2.html
 

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