N
NICCHIA
Guest
My fiance is facing a bit of drama here and we need some advice. My fiance has 2 kids and he pays child support for both of them. His son was born in Statesville, NC in 1996. He and the mother have never married. When the child was born, 3 weeks after the child was born the mother produced a document stating that she was releasing child from her custody to his father and she had the document notarized. Now before I go any further, my fiance' is in the military. At the time of his son birth, he was stationed overseas with only a couple of months to go before he was on his way back to the states to be stationed. Now when the mother produced that document, my fiance didnt know that he should have went to the courts to have that document legalized or however you word that. He figured he had custody and that was that. After the child was born he had to go back to Korea (where dependents are restricted to going) to finish out his tour. When he finished his tour up in korea, he was stationed in CO. Before he was to report to his base he took leave to visit the mother and his son. He tried to marry the girl and have both of them come up to CO to be a family but she refused and she refused to let the child (and yes we know that children are not puppies, cars, etc) go him or anything. Now keep in mind that it was only 2 month ago (at that time) since the child was born. He goes to his station still trying to work things out with her and try to figure out some visitation etc. From the day the child was born he started an allotment up of $350 for child support. This was not court ordered either. He not only gives the mother child support but for birthdays, christmas, etc he not only buys gifts for the child but cuts a check to the mother for no less than $300. At this time she knew of everything that was going on with him, meaning she knew he was not involved with another woman and she was very satisfied with that at the time. To cut to the chase while he was in CO he visited when he had the chance and things were going ok until now.
He left CO about 2 yrs about and went back overseas voluntarily, only hoping of getting a better assignment much closer to his son. He went to korea again and met me (his fiance'). Before he left for korea the mother told him once again that he could take his son when he returned from korea even if he goes to another overseas base. Well as you can see that didnt happen, why? Because she found out about me and she is mad about that. Ever since she has found out about me, she has been acting real ignorant and uncivilized. When we got stationed here in Guam
it was around christmas time and once again, he cuts her a $300 dollar check and that following month she calls and says she wants more child support and he ups it for her to $450. Recently she calls saying that she wants to put him in a private school and she wants more than $450, she wants more money for uniforms, tuition, computer classes etc. He tells her no because he has another child who was born in CO and he pays $491 for her and she is only 3 yrs old, (oh the son is 5 yrs old). The mother of the son gets mad and she threatens to go to a lawyer to get more money. Oh did I fail to mention that this woman is married has a job, oops she use to have a job, she just got laid off and is currently looking for a job. She is in and out of jobs because she is always getting laid off. Now the question is, what is his chances of getting custody when he returns back to the states being that being overseas in the military is a major drawback and it probably wont happen. But he knows his child and his child knows and adores him. The child can talk so it isnt like he doesnt know what is going on. All he really wants is to spend time with his child because it gets irritating going on leave and having to always go there to NC to see the child and dealing with the mother's threats. Being that no one really has "custody" of the child because nothing was done in court, can the mother do what she is doing currently which is not letting the child leave the state of NC when his father visits? When he goes to visit the child, he cant take him out of NC to meet his other family in Mississippi. The child is 5 yrs old and has never met his family on his dads side because she wont allow him to take him out of NC. How can she do this?
Last but not least, how does he go to court and file for child support to be court ordered and for it to be a set amount because with him just paying voluntarily without it being court ordered she keeps asking for more and more money and when she cant get it, she threatens him that he will never see his child and claims she is taking him to court.He has been paying child support to her since day 1 when the child was born through allotments from his paycheck. Being in the military, all of his pay stubs or LES's show this allotment so it is not like he wouldnt not be able to show proof that he has been paying child support to her every month for 5 yrs. If she takes him to court and tries to get more child support, she may end up getting less than what she is already getting from him now. So the questions are what is the odds of him getting custody of his son when the time comes? Can she get more child support from him? What does he need to do to file for child support before she does for set amount? Please need advice.
He left CO about 2 yrs about and went back overseas voluntarily, only hoping of getting a better assignment much closer to his son. He went to korea again and met me (his fiance'). Before he left for korea the mother told him once again that he could take his son when he returned from korea even if he goes to another overseas base. Well as you can see that didnt happen, why? Because she found out about me and she is mad about that. Ever since she has found out about me, she has been acting real ignorant and uncivilized. When we got stationed here in Guam
it was around christmas time and once again, he cuts her a $300 dollar check and that following month she calls and says she wants more child support and he ups it for her to $450. Recently she calls saying that she wants to put him in a private school and she wants more than $450, she wants more money for uniforms, tuition, computer classes etc. He tells her no because he has another child who was born in CO and he pays $491 for her and she is only 3 yrs old, (oh the son is 5 yrs old). The mother of the son gets mad and she threatens to go to a lawyer to get more money. Oh did I fail to mention that this woman is married has a job, oops she use to have a job, she just got laid off and is currently looking for a job. She is in and out of jobs because she is always getting laid off. Now the question is, what is his chances of getting custody when he returns back to the states being that being overseas in the military is a major drawback and it probably wont happen. But he knows his child and his child knows and adores him. The child can talk so it isnt like he doesnt know what is going on. All he really wants is to spend time with his child because it gets irritating going on leave and having to always go there to NC to see the child and dealing with the mother's threats. Being that no one really has "custody" of the child because nothing was done in court, can the mother do what she is doing currently which is not letting the child leave the state of NC when his father visits? When he goes to visit the child, he cant take him out of NC to meet his other family in Mississippi. The child is 5 yrs old and has never met his family on his dads side because she wont allow him to take him out of NC. How can she do this?
Last but not least, how does he go to court and file for child support to be court ordered and for it to be a set amount because with him just paying voluntarily without it being court ordered she keeps asking for more and more money and when she cant get it, she threatens him that he will never see his child and claims she is taking him to court.He has been paying child support to her since day 1 when the child was born through allotments from his paycheck. Being in the military, all of his pay stubs or LES's show this allotment so it is not like he wouldnt not be able to show proof that he has been paying child support to her every month for 5 yrs. If she takes him to court and tries to get more child support, she may end up getting less than what she is already getting from him now. So the questions are what is the odds of him getting custody of his son when the time comes? Can she get more child support from him? What does he need to do to file for child support before she does for set amount? Please need advice.