• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

long term harassment

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

What is the name of your state?CA
Dear People: Quick version: met ex-girlfriend in 2001. "Tried" to break up with her in late 2002. Ex refuses to end relationship! Makes her point by mounting a telephone harassment campaign against myself, my friends (whose #'s she had, and my elderly parents). I relent several times thinking we can be friends, but she wants more. I follow parents and friends advice and send her a polite but firm email and change my #. My car is vandalised, but most importantly she engages in truly unbelievable phone harassment (she has probably called us all close to 10,000 times). I called the police for the 50th or so time. Followed officers advice, got and served tro. Ex violated tro a few hundred times in the month it was in effect (she moved to an undisclosed loc, so I couldn't serve her an oah). Finally convinced police to send report to Riverside county DA. Finally convinced DA to file case (PC 273.6(A). She has a pretrial conference set for 9/27. My problem? I am concerned that because I am a male, the DA's office is not pursuing the case in a way that reflects the seriousness of the offense. By the way, my parents finally got a permanent ro against the woman. I was able to serve her when she had to show up for court for violating the tro. I called her a probably 5 or 10times during the period the ro was in effect, always to beg her to stop calling my parents. I think she's going to try and make it seem like I was mutually harassing, even though she called over 500 times in a month. Any thoughts?
 


B

betterthanher

Guest
cjbrown929 said:
What is the name of your state?CA
Dear People: Quick version: met ex-girlfriend in 2001. "Tried" to break up with her in late 2002. Ex refuses to end relationship! Makes her point by mounting a telephone harassment campaign against myself, my friends (whose #'s she had, and my elderly parents). I relent several times thinking we can be friends, but she wants more. I follow parents and friends advice and send her a polite but firm email and change my #. My car is vandalised, but most importantly she engages in truly unbelievable phone harassment (she has probably called us all close to 10,000 times). I called the police for the 50th or so time. Followed officers advice, got and served tro. Ex violated tro a few hundred times in the month it was in effect (she moved to an undisclosed loc, so I couldn't serve her an oah). Finally convinced police to send report to Riverside county DA. Finally convinced DA to file case (PC 273.6(A). She has a pretrial conference set for 9/27. My problem? I am concerned that because I am a male, the DA's office is not pursuing the case in a way that reflects the seriousness of the offense. By the way, my parents finally got a permanent ro against the woman. I was able to serve her when she had to show up for court for violating the tro. I called her a probably 5 or 10times during the period the ro was in effect, always to beg her to stop calling my parents. I think she's going to try and make it seem like I was mutually harassing, even though she called over 500 times in a month. Any thoughts?
You called HER during the TRO? Was there in language in the order stating neither of you were to be in contact with each other? You better check it out.

You need to get as many credible witnesses as you can to be on your side. You also need to get as many phone records as you can. Any phone messages (voicemail and answering machine messages are legit because the person has knowledge they are being recorded). Also any letters requesting her to cease her behavior. We're the calls made from her cell phone? See about subpoeaning those. Did she call your cell phone or your friends or your parents? If applicable, get those. Get the police reports.

Also look into more on your laws in your state and the penalties. I know there are sites in CA that specifically address this (a google search "Phone harassment California" should do you just fine). Did you miss any work? Did you suffer from "mental distress"?

You should try to hookup with one of the victims assistance-like programs (we all know there are tons of one's that protect women...maybe even call them and explain their situation to them and see if they'll help you out!!).
 

casa

Senior Member
Do not answer your phone. Let ALL calls go through your answering machine &/or voice mail. At over 500 calls in a month, she obviously has a fixation- so she won't stop- however the msgs can be used in court.

Do not have any contact with her AT ALL. Tell your friends to stop using your phone to call her ~ They don't need to tell her to knock it off, the court will do that. ;)
 
California. Thanks for the replies! More info...

There was no language in the tro about me contacting her. I didn't want to, but she was brutalising my parents. My contacts involved me politely asking that she not call my parents, who have never called her. I incorrectly assumed that the minute she violated the order she would be arrested, otherwise I we would've secured an ro for my parents months ago. When they filed, they had documented 793 calls from this nut(their phone has caller id and automatically logs the callers # and prints them out)

During the month my ro was in effect, I used my illegal call bureau to trace about 200 calls to her cell phone. I also kept written logs (in one three day period, she called me 99 times, speaking on 5 or 6, using obscene language which I wrote down and provided to the DA).

Someone suggested that "I" subpoena her phone records. Did you mean the DA? I would love to see them. Can I legally subpoena these records for, say, a civil suit?She told me at one point (a year earlier when she was REALLY going at it) that her phone bill would not fit the standard envelope. It was mailed in a manila envelope that could hold quite a few 8 1/2 X 11 pages.

Again, thanks for all replies.
 

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top