Loving father, concerned about child.

[happyfather]

Hello,

I'll make this as much of a short story as possible. The ex and I have a 27 month old daughter and we have been apart (never married) for 2 years. She had a psychological breakdown and was hospitalized for one week. I lawyered up, got the paternity test etc. and was given temporary full custody until she could pass a psych eval.

She did a psych eval and it said concerning things but the judge gave her a few nights a week. For the past year or so I have 3 weekdays and every other weekend while she has 2 weekdays and every other weekend. Things have always been off. She has moved from place to place in the area, job to job, cellphone after cellphone after cellphone (new numbers). No longer has a car. Shut her parents out of her life. She's on foodstamps, section 8 etc. with her partner who drives her everywhere she needs to go.

rShe also now claims she works from home so she's always with the child when she has her.

The child comes home stinky like animal feces, which I proved by showing her coat (separate set of clothes is on the child within minutes of her being home and I usually wash what she was dropped off in). She comes home and is hitting/yelling/swearing and exhausted. The day after she is back home she normally sleeps for about 5 hours during the day.

Nearing our final trial I just want my daughter to be okay. I do not feel things are "right" at her mother's home.
I called for an emergency temporary change because she had evidence of drug use, and when my ex got the notice to appear in court she was nearly held in contempt because she told me it voided our temporary order..so she could keep the child until the trial.
She also lied to welfare saying she had the child full time - trying to get subsidy.

While the ex is on welfare, not going anywhere ... I am graduating college, just landed a VERY good job with one of the best benefits packages I've ever seen. I love my daughter more than anything, and just want the best for her.

I know it is a very uphill battle for fathers who are in my position.
The ex has the sad, single mom story about "needing" welfare etc., no lawyer etc.

I work hard. My daughter will have insurance instead of medicaid, life insurance, daycare etc.

I am afraid the judge will keep things the way they are "because she's the mom"
Even her parents are against her.

She passed the drug test...so does that mean the judge will probably just disregard everything else?

 

[Silverplum]

US law only.

Hello,

I'll make this as much of a short story as possible. The ex and I have a 27 month old daughter and we have been apart (never married) for 2 years. She had a psychological breakdown and was hospitalized for one week. I lawyered up, got the paternity test etc. and was given temporary full custody until she could pass a psych eval.

She did a psych eval and it said concerning things but the judge gave her a few nights a week. For the past year or so I have 3 weekdays and every other weekend while she has 2 weekdays and every other weekend. Things have always been off. She has moved from place to place in the area, job to job, cellphone after cellphone after cellphone (new numbers). No longer has a car. Shut her parents out of her life. She's on foodstamps, section 8 etc. with her partner who drives her everywhere she needs to go.

rShe also now claims she works from home so she's always with the child when she has her.

The child comes home stinky like animal feces, which I proved by showing her coat (separate set of clothes is on the child within minutes of her being home and I usually wash what she was dropped off in). She comes home and is hitting/yelling/swearing and exhausted. The day after she is back home she normally sleeps for about 5 hours during the day.

Nearing our final trial I just want my daughter to be okay. I do not feel things are "right" at her mother's home.
I called for an emergency temporary change because she had evidence of drug use, and when my ex got the notice to appear in court she was nearly held in contempt because she told me it voided our temporary order..so she could keep the child until the trial.
She also lied to welfare saying she had the child full time - trying to get subsidy.

While the ex is on welfare, not going anywhere ... I am graduating college, just landed a VERY good job with one of the best benefits packages I've ever seen. I love my daughter more than anything, and just want the best for her.

I know it is a very uphill battle for fathers who are in my position.
The ex has the sad, single mom story about "needing" welfare etc., no lawyer etc.

I work hard. My daughter will have insurance instead of medicaid, life insurance, daycare etc.

I am afraid the judge will keep things the way they are "because she's the mom"
Even her parents are against her.

She passed the drug test...so does that mean the judge will probably just disregard everything else?

 

[Proserpina]

Hello,

I'll make this as much of a short story as possible. The ex and I have a 27 month old daughter and we have been apart (never married) for 2 years. She had a psychological breakdown and was hospitalized for one week. I lawyered up, got the paternity test etc. and was given temporary full custody until she could pass a psych eval.

She did a psych eval and it said concerning things but the judge gave her a few nights a week. For the past year or so I have 3 weekdays and every other weekend while she has 2 weekdays and every other weekend. Things have always been off. She has moved from place to place in the area, job to job, cellphone after cellphone after cellphone (new numbers). No longer has a car. Shut her parents out of her life. She's on foodstamps, section 8 etc. with her partner who drives her everywhere she needs to go.

rShe also now claims she works from home so she's always with the child when she has her.

The child comes home stinky like animal feces, which I proved by showing her coat (separate set of clothes is on the child within minutes of her being home and I usually wash what she was dropped off in). She comes home and is hitting/yelling/swearing and exhausted. The day after she is back home she normally sleeps for about 5 hours during the day.

Nearing our final trial I just want my daughter to be okay. I do not feel things are "right" at her mother's home.
I called for an emergency temporary change because she had evidence of drug use, and when my ex got the notice to appear in court she was nearly held in contempt because she told me it voided our temporary order..so she could keep the child until the trial.
She also lied to welfare saying she had the child full time - trying to get subsidy.

While the ex is on welfare, not going anywhere ... I am graduating college, just landed a VERY good job with one of the best benefits packages I've ever seen. I love my daughter more than anything, and just want the best for her.

I know it is a very uphill battle for fathers who are in my position.
The ex has the sad, single mom story about "needing" welfare etc., no lawyer etc.

I work hard. My daughter will have insurance instead of medicaid, life insurance, daycare etc.

I am afraid the judge will keep things the way they are "because she's the mom"
Even her parents are against her.

She passed the drug test...so does that mean the judge will probably just disregard everything else?

(This does assume you're in the US - once that's confirmed, the following is pretty much the case in every state)

Here's your problem. Mom apparently is fit and able to take of the child - the court has already said so. Mom has substantial parenting time, and to have that reduced needs a whole lot of evidence from you.

You don't have any evidence of questionable parenting at the moment; she passed the psych eval and the drug test. It doesn't matter that Mom has shut out her parents. It doesn't matter that she doesn't have a phone. It doesn't matter that she's in Section 8 housing and needs food stamps. You have more or less a 50/50 time-share at the moment; you're going to have a tough time reducing Mom's parenting time.