Lowering or maintaining child support in best interests of second children

[irish1]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? MS

I am married to a man that adopted a step-child and has a biological child with his ex. We now have a child of our own. My husbands ex constantly threatens to make our child support obligation go up, even though our child is living on scraps. Is there a way to protect our child?

More info on our situation:

The ex-wife has custody of both children. My husband's adopted child has developed a relationship with his biological father and has no contact with my husband at all. We have been informed that the child sees his bio-father at least every other weekend and that the bio-father is paying for a large amount of educational and recreational expenses so that he can be allowed to see his child. At first the bio-father was interested in reversing the adoption, which my husband would have agreed to because he feels it was done under fraudulant circumstances but now the bio-father seems happy giving my husband's ex money under the table without picking up any responsiblity. I guess what I am trying to say is that my husband is paying for a child that isn't his biologically and we have been told that he has no responsibility for his biological child because we are married. Should he get punished for trying to have a normal life after divorce? Should second children be punished and forced to live on scraps because the ex wants more money? Can anyone tell me how to protect my child?

 

[Neal1421]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? MS

I am married to a man that adopted a step-child and has a biological child with his ex. We now have a child of our own. My husbands ex constantly threatens to make our child support obligation go up, even though our child is living on scraps. Is there a way to protect our child?

More info on our situation:

The ex-wife has custody of both children. My husband's adopted child has developed a relationship with his biological father and has no contact with my husband at all. We have been informed that the child sees his bio-father at least every other weekend and that the bio-father is paying for a large amount of educational and recreational expenses so that he can be allowed to see his child. At first the bio-father was interested in reversing the adoption, which my husband would have agreed to because he feels it was done under fraudulant circumstances but now the bio-father seems happy giving my husband's ex money under the table without picking up any responsiblity. I guess what I am trying to say is that my husband is paying for a child that isn't his biologically and we have been told that he has no responsibility for his biological child because we are married. Should he get punished for trying to have a normal life after divorce? Should second children be punished and forced to live on scraps because the ex wants more money? Can anyone tell me how to protect my child?

Is there a visitation order set for the husband to see the children? If not then he needs to file for visitation with the courts so that he can see the kids. She cannot keep the kids from their dad if there is a court order for visitation without being in contempt of court.

MS child support guidelines do not allow NCPs to deduct for subsequent children that they may have so there is nothing that can be done to lower the amount that he is paying.

The only way the support will go up is if the NCP has had a pay increase since the order was set.

 

[haiku]

first off, when your husband adopted this child it became his child in every way legally, but biologically. the bio father of this child has NO rights to this child.

If there is a visitation order for this child, and the CP is not honoring it, your husband should have taken her to court for contempt of visitation to enforce his right as that childs parent.

Adoption just like giving birth to a child, is something that CANNOT be undone, by divorce.

As far as support goes, it is dependant on your state whether or not they take into consideration subsequent kids. Even if they do, it is usually a very small percentage (think 2% for example).

Those of us who begin second families always need to live WITHOUT that part of our husbands or wifes salary that goes to thier other children. Its something your spouse should have been used to already before he decided to have a child with you. A simple example-say your husband makes 40,000 a year and pays 10,000 a year support, you don't really make 40,000 you make 30,000, so you live your life that way. Any time your ex might get a raise in support its because YOU got a raise too, so its not like you are going to notice the change either. Your child will never know they are depraved because thier daddy has always made 30,000, not 40,000 like his siblings.

now if a child of a second family IS living on scraps then just like any other family its time for the parents to think about getting better jobs, because it really should not have to be that way.

 

[stealth2]

Can anyone tell me how to protect my child?

If you're not currently working, by getting a job. If you are currently working, by looking for a better job.

 

[irish1]

You obviously are comfortable with making assumptions. The very first assumption you made was that the adoption was accomplished under "normal" circumstances. If you want to play a game of pointing fingers and placing blame, then maybe you should point it towards the court system that allowed this women to have the adolescent deemed abandoned after only 2 months of disconnect from the bio-father. Another aspect you failed to consider is that the State that performed the adoption allowed my husband to accomplish this when he was only 19 years old. At 19 years old you CANNOT even purchase alcohol, but you can adopt a child and understand the full ramifications? I don't think so and if you were honest, then neither would you. I purposely left out the gruesome details in my first post, because it is really irrelevant to the questions I posed. However, after this experience, I have learned that there is nothing I can gain from discussing such matters in this forum. Society loves to bash non-custodial parents, assuming that they were to blame for the divorce/break and subsequent custodial/financial issues. Did the thought ever cross your mind that my husband was not to blame or the cause of the first "Family's" demise? Better yet you define what a "Family" is and then tell me how his good fortune of starting an actual family is supposed to be bad. On that subject, explain why he wouldn't want to protect/provide his son the same he wishes to protect/provide for his bio-daughter. As for your opinions on this specific adoption, they are narrow minded and ill-thought-out. I will now assume that you have some interest directly related to adoption matters. If that is the case, I appreciate the fact that you would want to champion an adopted child. However, you failed to see that the best possible scenario for that young child has already been realized by rejoining him with his natural father. The fact that the man doesn't want to honor his child by correcting this blunder is the real issue, not my husband wanting to protect his own.

As I mentioned before, I am through discussing these matters on this forum and it would be a waste of your time and any others to respond to this post.

 

[brisgirl825]

Listen lady, kids can have babies at 12, you think him being 19 makes a difference? If he didn't understand, he should have been a little smarter and not gone through with the adoption. He is just as responsible as mom. This wasn't a surprise baby, this was 100% aviodable.

Grow up and stop having babies you can't afford. What kind of person makes babies so they can live in destitution? Take your responsibility for this mess and get on birth control.

 

[haiku]

:rolleyes

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