Maitenance Dilemma Update

[latie]

What is the name of your state? NY
Because my sister was ordered by the court to provide maintenance ‘pendente lite’ and pay her husband's lawyer’s fees until she goes to trial to fight her husband over non existent grounds, she will not be able to continue to pay all the bills with the addition of this new debt. If she pays him she can’t pay the mortgage and all the other bills. As she is already working 12 hours a day, 6 days a week, at 3 different jobs, she can do no more than that. Some of you have suggested that she go to court to make a hardship appeal to the court. Yesterday her lawyer informed her that he could do that but it would be cost prohibited and between paying for his services and her husband’s lawyer’s services it could run into thousands of dollars. Her lawyer has instead offered another strategy which is to inform her husband’s lawyer, in writing, that she can no longer carry the bills and that in order to abide by the courts decision they will have to sell the house and put the money in escrow. Both can then take money out of escrow on which to live in separate residences. If her husband refuses to do that than she should stop paying the mortgage and let the house go into foreclosure. He rationed that the foreclosure would not be her fault since she was the one who wanted to sell and therefore she would not be responsible for potential money he lost as a result of the foreclosure. Also, she could later sue him for the loss of her portion of the proceeds from the home, whereas, because he refused to sell and was in effect responsible for the foreclosure, he could not. Sounds like a plan to me! What do you think? The main question I have is, as there are no grounds right now, wouldn’t living in separate residences be grounds for a divorce?

 

[Bali Hai]

What is the name of your state? NY
Because my sister was ordered by the court to provide maintenance ‘pendente lite’ and pay her husband's lawyer’s fees until she goes to trial to fight her husband over non existent grounds, she will not be able to continue to pay all the bills with the addition of this new debt. If she pays him she can’t pay the mortgage and all the other bills. As she is already working 12 hours a day, 6 days a week, at 3 different jobs, she can do no more than that. Some of you have suggested that she go to court to make a hardship appeal to the court. Yesterday her lawyer informed her that he could do that but it would be cost prohibited and between paying for his services and her husband’s lawyer’s services it could run into thousands of dollars. Her lawyer has instead offered another strategy which is to inform her husband’s lawyer, in writing, that she can no longer carry the bills and that in order to abide by the courts decision they will have to sell the house and put the money in escrow. Both can then take money out of escrow on which to live in separate residences. If her husband refuses to do that than she should stop paying the mortgage and let the house go into foreclosure. He rationed that the foreclosure would not be her fault since she was the one who wanted to sell and therefore she would not be responsible for potential money he lost as a result of the foreclosure. Also, she could later sue him for the loss of her portion of the proceeds from the home, whereas, because he refused to sell and was in effect responsible for the foreclosure, he could not. Sounds like a plan to me! What do you think? The main question I have is, as there are no grounds right now, wouldn’t living in separate residences be grounds for a divorce?

That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard of.

Not surprising coming from an attorney who is an officer of the court and therefore cannot give advice that would compel a client to break the law.

Don't pay the alimony and pay the mortgage.

Tell the lawyer to get off his @ss and show the court she can't possibly pay both.

 

[Bali Hai]

What is the name of your state? NY
Because my sister was ordered by the court to provide maintenance ‘pendente lite’ and pay her husband's lawyer’s fees until she goes to trial to fight her husband over non existent grounds, she will not be able to continue to pay all the bills with the addition of this new debt. If she pays him she can’t pay the mortgage and all the other bills. As she is already working 12 hours a day, 6 days a week, at 3 different jobs, she can do no more than that. Some of you have suggested that she go to court to make a hardship appeal to the court. Yesterday her lawyer informed her that he could do that but it would be cost prohibited and between paying for his services and her husband’s lawyer’s services it could run into thousands of dollars. Her lawyer has instead offered another strategy which is to inform her husband’s lawyer, in writing, that she can no longer carry the bills and that in order to abide by the courts decision they will have to sell the house and put the money in escrow. Both can then take money out of escrow on which to live in separate residences. If her husband refuses to do that than she should stop paying the mortgage and let the house go into foreclosure. He rationed that the foreclosure would not be her fault since she was the one who wanted to sell and therefore she would not be responsible for potential money he lost as a result of the foreclosure. Also, she could later sue him for the loss of her portion of the proceeds from the home, whereas, because he refused to sell and was in effect responsible for the foreclosure, he could not. Sounds like a plan to me! What do you think? The main question I have is, as there are no grounds right now, wouldn’t living in separate residences be grounds for a divorce?

No**************......

 

[latie]

Thanks Bali, but I don't understand what you mean. In addition to an inability to pay the bills her husband is making her miserable. She feels like she is under a microscope and lives in one room of a 3 bedroom house. He has complete control of the house. She only comes home to sleep - that's it! She's so miserable that even if she could afford to pay the bills she just doesn't want to be there anymore. Initially, I told her that she has to make her lawyer go back to court and fight to get the maitenance withdrawn, but according to my sister's lawyer the chance of that happening are almost nonexistant. Her lawyer told her that there is no way that she can get out of paying her husband maitenance because he is retired on a fixed income. He thinks it's a good sign that the court only awarded him what amounts to 25% of her salary as this is an indication that equitably that's all the court thinks he's contributed to the marriage. In fact, he never even contributed that much, but personally, I blame my sister for putting up with that for so long. I will pass on the information you posted to me as that is something neither of us has thought about.

 

[latie]

Bali, it just occurred to me that if my sister doesn't pay her husband the maitenance and his lawyer's fees won't she be held in contempt and possibly face criminal charges?

 

[Ohiogal]

Bali, it just occurred to me that if my sister doesn't pay her husband the maitenance and his lawyer's fees won't she be held in contempt and possibly face criminal charges?

Yep she will. That is why she needs to go back to court.

 

[Bali Hai]

Thanks Bali, but I don't understand what you mean. In addition to an inability to pay the bills her husband is making her miserable. She feels like she is under a microscope and lives in one room of a 3 bedroom house. He has complete control of the house. She only comes home to sleep - that's it! She's so miserable that even if she could afford to pay the bills she just doesn't want to be there anymore.

Not relevant.

Initially, I told her that she has to make her lawyer go back to court and fight to get the maitenance withdrawn, but according to my sister's lawyer the chance of that happening are almost nonexistant.

If my attorney told me that instead of TRYING. It would be my "ex-attorney".

Her lawyer told her that there is no way that she can get out of paying her husband maitenance because he is retired on a fixed income.

See above.

He thinks it's a good sign that the court only awarded him what amounts to 25% of her salary as this is an indication that equitably that's all the court thinks he's contributed to the marriage.

Again, see above.

In fact, he never even contributed that much, but personally, I blame my sister for putting up with that for so long. I will pass on the information you posted to me as that is something neither of us has thought about.

Not relevant.