Man vs woman and alimony prejudices

[tuffbrk]

What is the name of your state? NJ

Court tomorrow. Early Settlement Panel. Am hoping to receive a reasonable settlement decision that STBX will also be able to live with. Male and female attorneys sit on the panel. Will be interesting to see how the man's alimony request from the woman plays out. Especially in light of male's refusal to accept any responsibility for the children of the marriage.

Wish I was as confident as Bali that the courts will rule in my favor simply because I am female! Will certainly let you all know!

 

[CJane]

Good luck girl!

 

[tuffbrk]

Thanks - I need it!

 

[VeronicaLodge]

good luck! i'll be thinking about you. let us know how it turns out!

In my divorce, I was the one making 6 figures and my ex couldnt hold down a minimum wage job for more than a year at a time throughout our 12 year marriage. He went to school a couple of times at my expense but then dropped classes and withdrew. I was scared he would ask for alimony even though he never helped me through school and I have a lot of school loan debt as a result. However, he never asked for it, didn't want it, but I was worried about it.

 

[Bali Hai]

good luck! i'll be thinking about you. let us know how it turns out!

In my divorce, I was the one making 6 figures and my ex couldnt hold down a minimum wage job for more than a year at a time throughout our 12 year marriage. He went to school a couple of times at my expense but then dropped classes and withdrew. I was scared he would ask for alimony even though he never helped me through school and I have a lot of school loan debt as a result. However, he never asked for it, didn't want it, but I was worried about it.

And you had a damn good reason to worry about it!! If the roles were reversed, the judge wouldn't think twice about ordering HIM to pay YOU alimony.

We need jury's to decide these bullsh!t cases. Then and only then will there be justice!!

 

[VeronicaLodge]

bali, I'm with you on that I don't even think alimony should be a thing anymore. in this day and age we all have equal opportunity to educate ourselves, work, make money, start businesses, etc. I find it an antiquated notion.

 

[SingleAZdad]

Halleluiah, can we all agree, and please notify the AZ Superior Court that women no longer want alimony. Wow, that's a big load off my mind...

court tomorrow at 11am

sorry for the sarcasm, ...

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Thinking here ... even IF they order alimony, that would become taxable income. Then, wouldn't they order the STBX to pay child support from this taxable income?

BTW, good luck tomorrow.

 

[tuffbrk]

HI all - my apologies for not signing in sooner. STBX was a no-show as advised by his attny to mine. So I was told to not appear. Now we are scheduled for 12-11. He claims there are too many germs for him to attend due to his anti-rejection meds. Of course, we can go to diners and hang out at basketball practice - just not go to court. (He then insisted last night that I had court adjourned. He's lied so much he doesn't even know the truth anymore)

The judge excused him, has requested a Dr's note for validation and has said if he is a no-show on Dec 11, she'll place us on her inactive list. Isn't that nice of the state of NJ to think that they have the right to keep my kids in such a dysfunctional environment and that I should have to continue to put my life on hold? My attny said she's a really nice judge. Aww....lucky me?

Somehow I'm guessing it wouldn't be a good thing to ask if they're really THAT stupid and don't they understand he simply wants to remain on my medical and will stall the divorce for as long as the courts allow it. Sigh....my attorney is not, in my opinion anyway, working for my benefit.

 

[tuffbrk]

The new date is tomorrow...

UPDATE

Hi - just a note that my new settlement date is tomorrow. I'm sick to my stomach. I'll let you know how it turns out.

In the meantime, a big thank you to CJane, Ohiogal and LdiJ for their assistance and suggestions. I feel better prepared, which will hopefully translate into successful negotiating tomorrow!

 

[VeronicaLodge]

Good Luck Tuff

 

[SingleAZdad]

Good Luck tomorrow!!

Has your attorney made any suggestions about what a reasonable alimony amount and duration should be?

 

[Ohiogal]

UPDATE

Hi - just a note that my new settlement date is tomorrow. I'm sick to my stomach. I'll let you know how it turns out.

In the meantime, a big thank you to CJane, Ohiogal and LdiJ for their assistance and suggestions. I feel better prepared, which will hopefully translate into successful negotiating tomorrow!

Good luck dear. Wish I could have helped more. I have been waiting for your call.

 

[CourtClerk]

Good luck!!!

 

[CJane]

TB Just left me a voice mail... things didn't go as well as we all hoped today. I'll let her update if she chooses to do-so, I just didn't want to leave anyone hanging.